


Ascension

by Zeta_Ivanova



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Pre-Hobbit, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:10:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 54,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeta_Ivanova/pseuds/Zeta_Ivanova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The line of Durin weren't the only ones ashamed of Smaug's destruction. A human girl lost everything, but gained a new life with a new people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> For the purpose of this fanfic, I've sped up the timeline between Smaug's attack and the eventual settling in the Blue Mountains, as well as aged-up Thorin and Dwalin a bit to be young men at the time Erebor fell.

Trading day was Thedra's favorite day of the week. A seven-year-old human girl, she was thrilled to accompany her father to the outskirts of Dale to watch the various traders and craftsmen assemble to barter their goods. While she had strict instructions to remain on her father's cart, it afforded her a great view of the market, teeming with various people and races. She was fascinated, watching the interactions between the men, elves, and dwarves. Once, she even spotted a hobbit.

This trading day was proving to be the best yet – the market was buzzing with excitement at the approach of Durin's Day – one of the largest celebrations of the dwarven community. Thedra could barely remember to stay on the wagon as she strained to see the long procession of dwarves entering from Erebor. It was said that members of the royal family would be visiting the market today, and Thedra was wild to catch a glimpse.

As the procession approached, Thedra suddenly had no doubt as to which dwarf was the prince. Rumors had already circulated that young Prince Thorin was almost as tall as a man, with dark flowing hair and the bearing of a king in the making. Thedra's eyes were immediately locked on him, and she watched with awe as he parted through the crowd.

*****

Three years later, not much had changed, though Thedra's father had allowed her some freedom to leave the safety of the cart – sometimes he even sent her on small errands to the other merchants he knew and trusted. Thedra was thrilled to be able to mingle among all of the craftsman from around the region; her skin tingled when she walked too close to an elf, or when she accidentally made eye contact with a dwarf. She hoped one day she'd have the courage to interact with all of these fascinating people, the way her father did.

Then the dragon came.

*****

If she was honest, Thedra barely remembered what happened to her the day Smaug arrived. One moment she was in the market with her father – the next she woke up under smoldering debris. It didn't take her long to find that both her parents had been lost. As she meandered around the remains of her town, she found only a few other survivors, looking even more dazed than she. When she stared into one woman's hollow eyes, she felt a surge of panic – but also anger. It was clear that no one here had the faintest idea of what to do next. Where should she go? Who would take care of her now that she was orphaned?

A few yards away, a small band of dwarves arrived. Thedra immediately recognized Prince Thorin at the head of the bunch. It was clear they were looking for any of their kin who may have been caught in the market when Smaug attacked. Two of his companions helped to lift up an injured dwarf leaning against a collapsed building.

“Follow me,” Thorin said. “We're leaving.”

Thedra's frayed soul was tugged by his voice. With only a moment's hesitation, she grabbed a ripped length of cloth and covered her face, and began to follow the band of dwarves at a short distance, and out of the market.


	2. The Road Onward

As a child, Thedra couldn't possibly have known how important it was that she had hidden her face that day she followed Thorin's lead out of Dale. Maybe it was some instinct born of fear of the unknown...maybe she had somehow gleaned the general mistrust the dwarven people had for other races. But in the end, as she had struggled along on foot that first day with her face covered, she had been pitied by an old dwarven woman who had mistaken her for an orphaned dwarfling. Over the next few days, Thedra was joined by three other orphaned dwarves who flocked around the old woman like a surrogate grandmother.

Thedra was lost without being able to understand the dwarven language, so she said nothing. Not that many people had cause to speak to her. The few times the old woman attempted to speak to her, Thedra drew back shyly. Fortunately, the old woman attributed the lack of speech to the trauma the child had endured – in fact, two of the dwarflings with her also said nothing.

As the days turned to weeks, the old woman began to gather the orphaned children at night around the fire to encourage them speak. She would point at the various objects around them and speak the name in Khuzdul. Thedra picked up the language quickly, and began venturing small interactions with the old woman and her companions. One day, the old woman gently addressed Thedra's scarf.

“Why do you cover your face, child?”

Thedra's eyes shone with fear. “I...I am afraid,” she whispered.

The old woman sat down. “What scares you?”

Thedra's mind raced. She was terrified that if her newly adopted people discovered she was a daughter of man, that she'd be abandoned again. As she stared down at the old woman's beard, her mind grasped at an idea. “I...I was burned. I'll never have a beard.” Thedra stopped, and waited to see if her excuse was accepted.

The old woman hugged her close. “Sweet child, we all have scars of one kind or another. Those who truly know you and love you will never shrink away from your injuries.”

Thedra sighed, hoping the old woman's words were true, but all the while vowing she'd never reveal her true identity.

*****

Months and then years passed, without much to mark the changes. As Thedra grew older and stronger, she realized hiding her face wasn't the only thing she needed to mask about her different physiology. She was quickly reaching a height surpassing most of her companions, but lacked the thickness of body the dwarves possessed. She ate reasonably well during those years, but decided the best way to mimic the dwarven body type would be to begin weapons training.

Thedra seemed to have a natural-born talent with the sword. After only a few months into her training, she had risen among the ranks and was eventually in an elite group of novices being trained by one of King Thrain's most talented warriors. Dwalin was a focused but fair teacher. He was strict and unyielding, yet offered positive encouragement that all the young warriors thrived upon.

As Thedra grew, she passed herself off as a dwarf surprisingly well. She stopped growing at a height that was rather short for a daughter of man, but fortunately not too tall to arouse suspicion as a dwarf. Her training with the sword had sculpted her body into one similar to her fellow warriors, and she wore her deep brown hair in the dwarven fashion – long and free, with the occasional small braid down her back.

Her face scarf was as natural a part of her as any other feature; no one ever questioned it. All of the dwarves had accepted the story of her burned flesh and respected her privacy.

During these years, the group of nomadic dwarves had roamed around the country side, looking for work that was fleeting, and staying in towns that were less-than-amiable. A group of warriors had split off and attempted to retake Moria with disastrous results. In the end, Thrain lead his weary tribe towards the Blue Mountains, having finally been convinced to settle his people – away from Erebor.

As the group trudged through the forest towards their eventual destination, Thedra heard a terrible roar. Without a moment's warning, the group was suddenly surrounded by a pack of orcs. On instinct, Thedra drew her sword and charged the nearest orc. Her sword sliced through the demon's neck easily, and she was moving towards the next beast before the first one had hit the ground.

All around her, children were screaming. But over the din, she heard a powerful voice call out.

“To me!”

Thedra looked to her left, and saw Prince Thorin among a group of his warriors, surrounding and protecting the weak and unarmed members of the party. Thedra scooped up a young dwarfling and made a bee-line to Dwalin, standing at Thorin's right flank.

“Dwalin!” Thedra passed the dwarfling to the warrior, then raised her sword to deflect an orc flying at the group of warriors. With seasoned steps, the group of warriors closed in rank, and took down each orc one by one. As the last beasts circled the group, Thedra heard another deafening scream.

The dwarves looked up, and realized they had walked right into a trap. The first small group of orcs had backed their group into a ravine, and now two more teams of the animals were pouring over both sides of the cliffs surrounding them. The onslaught of orcs smashed their defenses and scattered their group. Thedra swung her sword wildly, keeping one eye on the dwarves retreating further up into the hills. With a wave of relief, she spotted King Thrain up ahead with a large group of warriors. As the group ran towards him and safety, Thedra sliced at the few remaining orcs in her way. She had almost reached Thrain's line, when she heard a roar behind her.

Thedra twirled around, and saw with horror that Thorin had been the last to remain to fight – to allow his people to retreat to safety. He was fighting valiantly, but the group of orcs was slowly surrounding him.

Thedra didn't think. With a yell, she ran straight back into the throng. Her eyes weren't on Thorin, but on the swiftly moving river in the ravine behind him. She tackled him squarely, and they both went careening into the water next to them.


	3. Revival in Water

Night was falling, and Thorin and Thedra were still trying to catch their breath. The river had taken them swiftly away from the ambush, and thankfully the orcs hadn't tried to track them. Thedra and Thorin had crawled up the bank and collapsed. Thedra grabbed both of their cloaks and hung them up to dry in the waning sun; in the meantime, the pair rested in silence in their wet clothing as the temperature began to drop.

Thorin winced as he tried to move his right ankle. It was definitely broken. He turned to his companion.

“Are you injured?” he intoned.

Thedra instinctively checked to make sure her scarf was still in place. “I am well, my prince. And you?”

“My ankle is broken. A small wonder, with the tumble we took.”

Thedra dropped her gaze. “Forgive me, my prince. I...”

Thorin waved away her explanation. “No need for apologies. You saved my life, and for that I am grateful.”

Thedra inspected their surroundings. “Night is falling. Do you recommend a fire?”

Thorin shook his head. “There may still be orcs around. As uncomfortable as it may be, we cannot risk it.”

Thedra shook her sleeve – only a few drops of water fell. “Fortunately, I think our clothes are drying quickly enough, and I hung our cloaks up earlier. If we can tolerate the next few hours, I think we'll be ok.”

Thorin grimaced. “We need to find our way back to the group. We cannot last long alone, especially with my leg being injured.”

“If I may, my prince, I would suggest we stay here. They are undoubtedly looking for you, and will find us soon.”

He thought for a moment, and self-consciously acceded. Thorin still grated against his royal standing from time to time – it was difficult to remember he was a so-called prince while they were all in exile. He looked his companion up and down. “I don't believe I know you.”

“My name is Thedra, my prince.”

Thorin winced again. “Please, call me Thorin.”

Thedra averted her eyes. “As you will.” She settled down and fought off a shiver. “Are you hungry? I believe I saw a berry bush a little ways up the river.”

Like most dwarves, Thorin never particularly cared for fresh fruit, but he was not in a position to argue. “I'd be happy to share them with you.”

Thedra bowed slightly. “I'll be back soon.”

*****

Thedra returned with a small cache of raspberries. The sun had fully set, but fortunately, hers and Thorin's clothing had both dried, so they huddled together silently and filled themselves on fruit. Thedra shivered again.

“Are you cold?” Thorin inquired.

As loathe as Thedra was to admit her physiology was weak, she had to acquiesce. “Indeed, I'm a bit chilly.” She eyed the drying cloaks on the nearby tree. “If you don't mind my suggestion, I think we should share our cloaks tonight. We could use yours as a bed roll, and mine as a blanket.” She blushed at the suggestion. “We'd stay warmer if we shared our space.”

Thorin eyed Thedra briefly before averting his eyes. He couldn't think of her – of anyone – like that. “Yes, I think that would be most prudent.”

The stars shown down as Thedra quietly made hers and Thorin's bed for the night. They sought the lowest dip in the river bank and surrounded themselves with brambles. Thedra carefully laid out Thorin's cloak and helped him limp to the space and settle down for the evening. As methodical and nonchalant as she tried to be, she was troubled with flash backs of her memories from her childhood – how Thorin would ride serenely through the market; how his voice would still the trade of dozens of craftsman in his earshot. She was confused by this onslaught of memories, but trusted dear Dwalin's training, and focused on their needs for the night.

Like Thorin, she was concerned about wandering orc packs. While Thorin's cloak was bulkier, she purposefully chose her own as their cover, since it could blend easily into the surroundings. While it wasn't as efficient as the elven cloaks of Mirkwood or their brethren, it would be simple enough to trick the poor eyesight of orcs at night.

For the longest time that she could remember, she settled down clutching another living being for warmth and comfort.


	4. Begin Anew

The next morning Thedra woke up to the sun shining and the birds singing. And...to Dwalin grinning down on both of them.

“Good morrow, my friends,” he spoke as he reached a thick hand down to both of them.

Thedra blinked her eyes then took his hand. “Well met, my friend.”

Thorin struggled a moment then indicated his broken ankle. “I'm afraid I'm a bit worse for wear.”

“No concern, my lord. We march on.”

*****

It was initially a solemn affair as the dwarves reached the Blue Mountains that final night. They took in the collapsed mines and the remnants of houses surrounding them in silence. But even in the face of so much work, there was a palpable sense of hope and eagerness – after so much wandering and waiting, the time of the Line of Durin was at hand again.

As the group settled in for the night, the fires were lit, and the musical instruments appeared. Someone, somewhere, even found a barrel of ale. While a stout group of warriors circled the camp to watch for enemies, the rest of the party finally relaxed and celebrated the first night at their new home.

Thedra stared for a long time at the dilapidated homes leaning against the rocky face of the mountain. While the dwarves were happiest living inside of the rock, it was clear that the last dwellers of this place maintained a healthy community in the immediate vicinity outside of the mountain as well. Thedra knew she could never hope to match the skill of the most valuable trades – she would never mine, forge, or wrought. However, Thedra had taken a liking to the old dwarven woman's trade a few years earlier. In spite of the priority Thedra had spent on her training with the sword, she had also picked up the skill of weaving. She found the silent repetition of moving rushes in and out to form a neat basket or container calmed her thoughts and homed her focus. Weaving baskets, nets, and mats weren't nearly as important as some of the other skills among the dwarven people, but she excelled at it quickly and was determined to make it viable commodity.

As Thedra mused about her place in the coming days, she felt a slight tug on her shoulder. Dwalin stood behind her silently, then motioned towards the crowd around the camp fire. “Lass, enjoy these moments. Come and celebrate – we are finally home.”

Smiling, Thedra followed Dwalin's lead and headed towards the group of dancers and laughed. “Mahal, give me the grace in dance that you have given me in combat!”

Across the fire, Thorin leaned back and puffed on his pipe. He had just come from his father's tent, and was torn between enjoying the moment and worrying over the future. Thorin was doing his damnedest to ignore his fears and live in the moment, so he focused his attention on the people before him.

As he watched the dancers circle the fire, he noticed the addition of his friend Dwalin along with the girl, Thedra. Thorin honestly hadn't given Thedra much thought since they had parted ways that morning after the orc attack. Thorin had woken early to the girl curled up contentedly next to him, and in his dim state, he had basked for a moment in the warmth and softness of her body before he became fully aware. He quickly brushed off those cozy feelings and accepted Dwalin's outstretched hand before any more could become of that encounter.

Thorin knew he should somehow acknowledge what Thedra had done for him. On the night of the orc attack, Thorin had fully been prepared to die to spare his family and his people the same fate. He had been inches away from an orc's blade when an unseen force had slammed into him and sent him spiraling down into the blessedly cool water that whisked him to safety.

While Thorin still felt slightly uncomfortable in his role in the royal family, he understood the importance of decorum and tradition. It was high time he did something noticeable – something symbolic – something to bolster his father's people.

As the music began to quiet down, he moved slowly to Thedra's side. Without a word, he motioned for her to take a seat with him beside the fire. Then, very deliberately, he caught a portion of Thedra's hair next to her temple, and carefully began to braid it.

Thedra had been a bit confused when Thorin pulled her away from the dancers. When she first sat down, she half expected to be reprimanded for being too boisterous. But once she understood that Thorin – her prince – intended to braid her hair, she was frozen.

Time seemed to stand still, every breath seemed to be caught. Life moved on outside of the private bubble Thedra and Thorin occupied. Thorin meticulously finished Thedra's braid, and tied it off with a small stone on a fragment of leather. For the first time, Thedra met his eyes, but was at a loss for words.

Thorin, in turn, said nothing. It was not a time for words. The braid said everything about his gratitude, and about her place in this community.


	5. Heat

It was a fine summer as the dwarves claimed the Blue Mountains. There wasn't enough space in the mountain itself yet for all of the group, but Thedra was secretly glad to take one of the shacks dotting the mountain face. She choose a house built right next to the towering rock – though the other three walls had almost completely rotted away, the roof and it's supports were still sturdy. The east facing wall had a long window and shelf where Thedra could display her baskets, while the west facing wall was half stone with a small, cool enclosure good for storing food. Thedra and the other dwarves worked hard that season to rebuild many of the outer buildings that would house them that winter.

In the evenings, Thedra would weave. She sat by the fire quietly, letting the rhythm of her fingers slowly release any tension from the day. The red stone Thorin had braided into her hair sparkled as she leaned over her work.

During the day, however, Thedra spent most of her time with Dwalin and her fellow warriors. After arriving at the Blue Mountains, Thrain had upped his guard, and had three shifts of warriors stationed to guard the encampment. Thedra quickly became familiar with the entirety of the habitable part of the mountain as well as the surrounding countryside.

Thedra had weekly training and sparing sessions as well. She would watch as her companions tested each others skills, waiting for her chance to prove her own. Occasionally, members of the royal family would join them in the practice hall. Thedra watched closely as Thorin delivered gracefully measured blows against his opponent, before finally pinning him to the ground. Thedra admired Thorin's strong arms and his careful movements, and before she realized, she had lost track of the skills he was trying to demonstrate, and was instead completely absorbed in studying his features.

As the next opponent approached a sweating Thorin, he ripped off his leather armor and prepared to fight in only his under tunic. The sweat made the cloth cling to his skin, and Thedra's eyes roamed over the well-sculpted muscles on his back, the curves of his biceps, and the flat plane of his stomach.

“Good, isn't he?”

Thedra started, having not heard Dwalin approach her. She blushed slightly in the realization that she had been appreciating her prince in ways entirely unrelated to his fighting skills. She simply nodded at Dwalin's question, then forced herself to focus on the next pair of combatants entering the circle.

It was a pair of two younger boys. As Thedra leaned closer, she could see it was Kili and Fili entering the training ring. Fili had begun attending these sessions occasionally when they had first arrived at the mountain, and it seemed Kili had finally convinced his mother, Dis, to let him tag along with his big brother. Thedra wondered with a small smile if the princess knew her youngest intended to spar and not just to watch!

Thorin approached the youngest lad and shook his head. It appeared uncle Thorin was in no mood to let Kili participate in a full sparing session. Thedra couldn't hear what was said, but after a few moments, Kili sagged his head in defeat, and excited the circle.

Thedra hesitated for a moment, then dropped down from the spectators stand and followed after the young dwarf. “Kili!” she called out. Kili stopped and turned around. “Would you like to train with me?” she asked.

Kili's eyes brightened. “Yes! Only...do you think my uncle will approve?”

“Of course. We'll use training swords and move slowly.” And with that, Thedra and Kili started meeting every week to spar.

*****

As that first summer turned to autumn, Thedra frequently joined the hunting parties that were stocking the mountain's cellars for the winter ahead. As luck would have it, she ended up in Thorin's party rather frequently. She was still slightly troubled by the thoughts that had started creeping into her head whenever she watched him train. Hunting turned out to be no different – she found that more often than not her eyes were trained on his broad shoulders or on the intense look of concentration on his face as he fired his arrow, rather than on the prey they were hunting.

It had been twelve years since they had fled Erebor and Dale. Thedra knew by human standards she was a grown woman, but at the same time never had given any thought to any relationship more serious than friendship. Marriage was absolutely out of the question, of course, if she was to keep her secret safe. But lately she noticed that some of her fellow male dwarves were attempting more conversation with her, and she was a bit nervous that some of them might be trying to initiate a more intimate relationship. She couldn't blame them though, really – dwarven women were rare to begin with, and after Smaug's attack, their numbers in general had been greatly reduced. So Thedra kept her contact with her companions as limited and professional as possible, and did her best to deflect any new interest.

But Thedra still couldn't seem to shake the growing attraction she seemed to be building for Prince Thorin.

As night began to fall, the group of hunters decided to camp for the night and return home on the morrow. After the tents were pitched and the fire started, the group settled in for an evening of good food, good drink, and good fellowship. As the night wore on, they enjoyed Thedra's stew and Dwalin's small keg of ale. Thedra normally didn't drink much, but this night she let down her guard slightly and enjoyed several tankards while the group talked and laughed. As they killed the remainder of Dwalin's ale, the group settled down a bit to listen to Thorin sing.

Thedra stared at Thorin's face, softly lit by the low light of the campfire. He sang mournfully, passionately, about the loss of their homeland and their brethren. Thorin's baritone voice reverberated in every fiber of Thedra's being. The combination of Thorin's voice and the amount of ale she had consumed made Thedra weak. As Thorin finished his last song, Thedra quietly excused herself and made her way to her tent. She let out a shaky sigh as she fastened the tent flap.

Outside two of the other dwarves also retired, leaving only Thorin and Dwalin awake. Thedra couldn't make out what they were saying, but the sound of Thorin's voice melted in her ears. As she stretched out on her bedroll, she tried to sleep, but was troubled by the memories of Thorin sparing in his damp tunic. She wondered what it would be like to sleep next to Thorin again, like they had after the orc attack. She imagined brushing her hands across his broad shoulders and chest, as Thorin in turn wrapped his powerful arms around her thin torso. He would pull her close, and in her mind's eye she was no longer wearing a scarf. She imagined that he leaned in and kissed her very gently, his soft beard caressing her naked cheek and throat.

She raised her hand to her lips, then to her flushed cheek. An uncontrollable warmth was spreading through her body as she fantasized about Thorin touching her. She slowly lowered her hand down her neck, then lower to the side of her breast. She could still hear Thorin murmuring outside, and she wished his voice was much closer, whispering in her ear. As her hand trailed down her stomach, Dwalin let out a loud laugh, startling Thedra out of her daydream.

 _What am I doing?_ Thedra was suddenly ashamed of what she had been thinking. _He is my prince, and I will be alone for all of my days. I cannot torture myself like this._


	6. Bite of Steel

Thorin looked with satisfaction at the ponies ahead of him, laden with fruits of their hunt. Dwalin and Thedra were leading the way, talking quietly. Thedra was a bit tall for a dwarven female, but not quite as stout as some. Thorin had noticed for some time now that Dwalin seemed to show a slight partiality towards the girl, but whether it was simply because he enjoyed perfecting her skill with her sword or something deeper, he couldn't tell.

There were so few dwarven women, that most males chose to remain single. This was another point of contention with Thorin. As the eldest son of a king, he would eventually be expected to marry and produce heirs. With his people still so ravaged from the expulsion from their home and their nomadic lifestyle since, he would much rather put his skills to use to help his people, rather than just his lineage.

Thrain had mentioned his expectations of Thorin again only a few days earlier. Much to his consternation, Thrain had invited many of their kin from the Iron Mountains to visit, with the hope that Thorin may find a bride from their party. Thorin barely had time to point out that repairs in the Blue Mountains were only just beginning and that they were in no shape to receive guests, before Thrain slammed down his glass in frustration and stormed out of the room. Thrain's composure had deteriorated steadily after the battle of Azanulbizar.

Thorin sighed loudly, and Thedra looked back over her shoulder at him. Her blue eyes shown brightly, with the faintest hint of yellow around the irises. Thorin gave her a half-smile and a nod, then turned his gaze to the mountain ahead of him. He would need focus to complete the rest of his work before the delegation from the Iron Mountains arrived.

*****

Sweat was dripping down Thedra's neck and the air was thick. The only sounds made were the ringing of their swords as Thedra and Dwalin danced around each other in the fighting hall. Dwalin was usually a bit restrained with his female warriors, but this time he showed no such mercy. A few days ago one of the guards had spotted three orcs much too close to the Blue Mountains. Dwalin was determined that ALL of his guards be trained to the most stringent measures.

Dwalin was on the offensive, and it was all Thedra could do to deflect his blows. Her lungs burned with the effort, and with one deafening roar, Dwalin crashed his sword down at Thedra's neck. She raised her sword up to stop the blow, but her strength had finally failed her. The intensity of the strike knocked her sword to the ground, and the dull training blade bit deep into her shoulder.

Thedra muffled her scream. She dropped to her knees and grabbed her shoulder, trying to stifle the flow of blood from her wound. Dwalin stared at her, dumbfounded, his chest heaving and his legs rooted to the ground.

The next thing Thedra knew she was being lifted into the air by strong arms. She pressed her face into Thorin's shoulder and bit her scarf to avoid crying out again.

“Balin! Send the healer to my quarters! Now!” With that, Thorin strode out of the hall and deeper into the mountain, with Thedra in his arms.

Thedra took deep breaths to steady herself as the pain emanating from her shoulder ebbed slightly. Thorin kicked the door open to his quarters, and it took Thedra's eyes a moment or two to adjust to the dimmer lighting. Only a single candle burned next to Thorin's bed, illuminating the plush – yet plain – pillows and blankets covering it. On the walls hung a pair of crossed war hammers, and in the corner, Thorin's famous oaken limb leaned up against the stone.

Thorin gently laid Thedra on his pillow and grabbed her shoulder firmly with one hand. With the other he lifted the candle and brought it closer. He studied her eyes above the scarf, looking for signs of pain or faintness.

“It will be better in a moment,” he reassured her.

Thedra nodded. “Thank you, my prince,” she replied weakly, not trusting her voice not to crack in pain.

Balin burst into the room, followed by the healer. Thorin quickly moved aside, and the healer examined Thedra's shoulder. He nodded in satisfaction. “It's not deep enough to have caused any permanent damage, but it will need stitching to heal properly.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle of clear liquid and a rag. As he began to clean the wound, Thedra hissed as the liquid burned her cut.

Thorin looked at Balin. “Will you go to the kitchens and have them send up a healing broth?” Balin nodded slightly and left.

The healer put his cleaning potion away and pulled out a hooked needle and thread. He looked at Thedra. “Stitching is always unpleasant, and this is a long cut. Brace yourself.”

Thorin saw Thedra grab a handful of his bedsheets, and his heart reached out to her. He moved to the opposite side of the healer and gently pried her fingers off of the fabric and encased it in his own two hands. Thedra's grip tightened as the healer plunged the needle into her skin, but she stayed silent. Thorin's gaze wandered to her face. Here eyes were wrinkled in pain, but her gaze was focused...on their entwined hands. He gently squeezed her hand back, and her eyes snapped to his. He gave her a small smile, and she nodded slightly and looked down. Finally, the healer concluded, and bandaged up the wound.

Thedra sighed and relaxed against the pillows. The healer patted her other hand. “You did well, my dear. Rest now, and give the arm time to heal.” With that, he was gone.

Thedra's grip on Thorin's hand relaxed, but she didn't pull back immediately. She had been touched that he had reached out to her in her pain, and she wanted to feel his hands for a few moments longer while she could focus on him and not her injury. 

Thorin absently rubbed his thumb slowly over her knuckles. His eyes drifted to the stone he had placed in her hair a few months earlier. “Better?” he asked.

Thedra's smile reached her eyes. “Yes.” She looked down and their still-joined hands and blushed slightly. “And thank you.” She looked back up. “Thank you for staying with me.” She laughed self-consciously. “It _was_ rather painful.”

Thorin chuckled, and opened his mouth to reply. “I'm glad that-”

Before he could finish, Dwalin burst through the door, nearly wrenching the wood off of it's hinge. He lurched to a halt, and stared at Thedra with wide eyes. His face was white with fear.

Thorin quickly removed his hands from Thedra's as Thedra gaped at Dwalin with concern. _He's overcome with fear and guilt._

Before Thedra could think of where to begin, Dwalin threw himself on his knees by her side, pressed his face against the back of her other hand, and began to sob.


	7. Too Familiar

Thorin sat in a stunned silence as his friend lost control next to Thedra. Thedra instinctively sat up and ran the fingers of the hand Thorin had abandoned through Dwalin's hair. Watching this raw display of emotion was excruciating. Thorin shot up off the side of the bed and left the room as quickly as possible without breaking into a run. He spun around the door frame to his room and slammed his back against the wall in the hallway.

He slowly slid down the rock and put his head in hands. _Why am I so unnerved?_

Thorin heard footsteps approaching and stood up. Balin rounded the corner, carrying a small pot of the broth he had been sent for. Thorin met him half-way. “Thank you, my friend. I'll take care of this.”

Balin stared at him for a moment, then bowed slightly and turned away. Thorin slowly made his way back to the doorway, and settled down again against the wall and waited.

*****

Thedra was speechless as she leaned over the hunched form of her mentor crying against her palm. All she could think of to do was run her fingers through his long hair and wait until he regained his composure.

Slowly, Dwalin's sobs subsided, and Thedra stilled her hand. Dwalin lifted his face.

“Thedra...Thedra, I am so, so sorry.”

“It's alright...I'm alright now. It was an accident.”

Dwalin shook his head. “I lost control. I was so intent on protecting our people from harm, that I lost sight of the harm within.” He let out a shaky breath. “If I had killed you, I never would have forgiven myself.”

Thedra pressed her hand to his lips. “Don't say such things. I'm not dead, and I'm in no danger.”

Dwalin stilled, and looked at Thedra with subtle shock. Instantly, she pulled her hand away. _Damn it. That was much too familiar for dwarves._

“Dwalin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-”

Dwalin stood up and blushed deeply. “It's alright, lass...we both...we both lost control tonight...” With that, he left abruptly, never noticing Thorin sitting in the hallway outside the door.

*****

Thorin stayed outside for a few minutes after Dwalin's departure. He couldn't see what was happening in his room, but he heard it well enough. He had a sickening, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was apparent now that there was something much deeper developing between his friend and Thedra – at least on Dwalin's side, anyway.

Thorin wasn't sure why this whole interaction was so upsetting. He could only suppose that he simply felt like an intruder by witnessing such an emotional, intimate moment.

Once he was sure he had given Thedra enough time to compose herself, he entered his room with the cooling broth Balin had given to him.

Thedra had a hard time meeting his eyes. _What did he overhear?_

Thorin busied himself by opening the pot and placing the bedside table closer to Thedra. He handed Thedra the spoon, but she immediately winced as she tried to lift her injured arm.

“Here.” Thorin took the spoon and sat closer to Thedra. “If you remove your scarf, I can help you eat.”

Thedra recoiled. “No!” She took a breath and tried to be calm. “No, thank you, my prince, but I couldn't possibly take off my scarf. It's too...it's too embarrassing.”

Thorin set the spoon down. “Forgive me,” he said quietly. “I'd never want to make you uncomfortable.”

Thedra relaxed slightly, but refused to look at him again.

Thorin stared at her for a long moment. “I would never try to force you to do something you didn't want to do, but as your friend I would be remiss if I didn't say this: you are safe here. I know your burns make you self-conscious, but those who know you – those who live with you, fight by your side – will never judge you based on your appearance. We judge you on your strength of character and unwavering loyalty, and for that you are beautiful.”

Thedra's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. After the events of the day, hearing these words from Thorin was too much. “Thank you.” It was all she could manage.

Thorin stood up. “I'll leave you to eat in peace, and I'll find you a room here tonight. You will be well cared for.”

*****

Dwalin roared in frustration. After leaving Thedra, he stormed back to the fighting hall and ordered everyone to leave. He pulled out a training dummy and grabbed his sword. He had spent most of the last hour destroying the wooden figure. His arms were on fire, and his hands were blistered and bleeding.

Dwalin heard a step behind him, and swung around in rage. “I ordered everyone out!”

Thorin stood before him. “You cannot order me.”

Dwalin threw down his sword. “Thorin, forgive me, I-”

“Enough.” Thorin walked around Dwalin and examined the battered dummy. He kicked Dwalin's sword over with his boot. The blade was chipped in two places, and the hilt had the unmistakable stain of fresh blood.

Thorin looked at his friend. “Did any of this help?”

Dwalin hung his head. “No.” He pressed his hand to his eyes. “Thorin...Thorin, what have I done?”

Thorin motioned for Dwalin to sit with him on one of the nearby benches. “Are you referring to the injury...or to what happened afterward?”

Dwalin stared at him, horrified. “How much did you-”

“All of it.” Thorin's anger surged unexpectedly. “I heard all of it,” he snapped.

The color drained from Dwalin's face. He stood up and began to pace. “I don't know what's going on...inside of me. I don't know what I feel.” He stopped and turned to Thorin. “I've never felt so out of sorts.”

Thorin stood up as well and after a moment, clamped his hand on Dwalin's shoulder. “My friend...this is no good. Our position here is still vulnerable, and we have guests on the way. Find a way to put these...distractions...aside and focus on your tasks.” He took in a deep breath. “I need you.”

Dwalin nodded. “Aye, my prince.”

*****

Thedra was dozing off in the room Thorin had provided when she heard her door open and soft foot-falls approaching her bed. Her eyes snapped open and she could barely make out Kili's face leaning over her. She touched her scarf briefly.

“Thedra? Are you awake?” His voice squeaked softly, and by the dim light of the single candle on the wall, she could see the concern shining in the dwarf's eyes.

“Kili...in Mahal's name, what are you doing here?”

Kili fiddled with the throw on Thedra's bed. “I heard you got hurt and had to stay here tonight. I...I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Even though Kili was on the verge of adulthood, at times like this it was obvious he was still very much an adolescent in some ways.

Thedra took his hand gently. “I'm fine...and thank you for coming to see me. But it is late, and your mother will have your beard off if she finds you out of bed.”

Kili shook his head and mumbled. “Can I stay here? With you?”

Thedra's heart softened as she looked at her young friend. “Oh, alright, sweetling. Settle down here and cover yourself with the blanket.”

The young dwarf hopped into the bed happily and snuggled up against his friend. “Goodnight, Thedra. I'm glad you're not hurt too badly.”

*****

“When I find that dwarfling, I'll kill him!” Dis strode down the hallway and banged on Thorin's door. “Brother! Brother, wake up!”

Thorin opened the door and faced the force of nature that was his sister. Before he could say anything, she pushed her way into his room.

“Is Kili here? Have you seen him?”

“No, not since last evening.”

Dis held back a scream of frustration.

“Did you ask Fili?”

Dis swung around. “Of COURSE I asked Fili! He didn't hear Kili leave. Fili sleeps so heavily that he wouldn't hear a pack of orcs leave!”

Thorin thought for a moment. “Wait here. I have an idea.”

Dis ignored him and followed him down the stairwell to Thedra's room. Thorin knocked softly. “Thedra?”

Inside, Kili jumped out of bed and knocked the nightstand over with a resounding crash. Hearing the commotion inside, Thorin opened the door to find a sleepy and confused Thedra trying to sit up, and a jumble of arms, legs, and furniture on the floor beside her.

Kili rolled over onto the rug, and Thorin fought down a smile. As Kili sheepishly stood up, Dis pushed past Thorin and grabbed the young dwarf by the pointed ear.

“Out, out, out!” Dis yelled as she dragged her son out of the room.

Thedra sat perfectly still for a moment, then looked at Thorin. As soon as their eyes met, they both burst out laughing. After the events of the last day, it felt good to laugh.


	8. Changes in the Wind

Later that afternoon, Thedra and Thorin made a round through the mountain halls. Thedra was feeling much better, but was grating against the news that she'd need to keep her arm at rest for the next several weeks. “I can't hold a sword, and I can't make my baskets. I've never felt so useless.”

Thorin smiled. Absently, Thedra thought that he seemed to be smiling more often these days, and that she enjoyed seeing it.

“I was laid up for two weeks after Moria. I can sympathize.”

Thedra nodded and looked out across the great banquet hall. Many dwarves were scurrying around to finish hanging the new drapery in time for the arrival of their upcoming visitors. Even though much of the mountain was still uninhabitable, the royal family was making great strides to offer their guests as much comfort and grandeur as possible.

Thorin stopped and looked at Thedra. “I do have another task for you. It is not as...wholesome...as your usual duties, but I believe you may have the disposition to handle it well.”

Thedra raised an eyebrow. “Yes, my prince?”

“Our guests will need an escort. I would like you to serve them in this capacity during your stay.”

Thedra's eyes narrowed. “Without my arm, I'm useless to defend-”

Thorin raised his hand. “During their visit, the guard will be doubled all around the mountain. Your role will be much more...political.”

“Indeed? Can you elaborate?”

He sighed, and led Thedra to a small balcony off the great hall, overlooking the countryside below. They sat down on a small bench and enjoyed the cool breeze around them.

“I can trust you, Thedra, can I not?”

Thedra stiffened. “Of course, my prince. With anything.”

Thorin looked out over the valley. “You may have gathered this already, but this visit isn't truly about showing our cousins our wealth or strength. If it were, we would have waited a least a year to give ourselves time to truly make this a great kingdom. In truth, my father is rather preoccupied...with the line of succession.”

“Line of succession? I don't under-.” Realization hit Thedra hard. “Oh. I see, my prince.”

Thorin shook his head ruefully. “Please, call me Thorin when we are alone.” He stood up and leaned over the balcony. “It's one of my few refuges left from my royal duties,” he commented dryly. “In any case, my hope is that the women that are being sent here to be paraded in front of me will be as disinterested as I am in the whole affair, but if they are not...” His voice trailed off. “I, uh, may be counting on you to help intercept them from time to time.”

Thedra couldn't help it. The idea of the great Thorin Oakenshield being unnerved by as-yet faceless young hopeful brides was ridiculous. She let out a great laugh, then clamped her hand over her scarf-covered mouth. Thorin looked surprised for a moment, then colored deeply.

“Oh, my prin- I mean, Thorin. Oh, Thorin, forgive me for laughing at your expense.” She stifled another giggle. “No, truly...I'm glad you feel I can help you with this, and I will do everything I can to make their visit...more bearable.”

Thorin glowered at Thedra, but she could tell he wasn't truly angry at her reaction. “See that you do.”

Thedra joined Thorin at the railing, and they stood side-by-side for a long while, watching the sun sink deeper into the sky.

*****

The Line of Durin greeted their cousins with all of the pomp and circumstance that they could muster. Dain's delegation was fortunately a bit smaller than they had feared – only thirteen dwarves had made the trip. And surprisingly, the only two females were Elaria – the daughter of a wealthy jeweler – and her maid.

Thedra studied Elaria from a distance. She was a tall, extremely curvy dwarf with luxuriously long, curly blonde hair. Her status as a jeweler's daughter was obvious – jewels glittered and sparkled from her ears, beard, fingers and hair. Her dress was equally as fine, and fit her curves beautifully. She wore a broad smile as she was introduced to Thorin, and dipped her head gracefully before him.

Thedra moved towards the dais as the introductions were concluding. Even though her arm was still in a sling, she was adorned in brand new armor. Thrain had shocked his warriors with new armor for his entire guard, in thanks for the hard work they had provided leading up to the guests' arrival. Her armor reflected the many glittering candles in the great hall, and her blue cloak – indicating her new position as a member of the prince's personal guard – flowed easily about her shoulders.

The head table had never been so full. Thrain had seated the entire delegation – except for the servants, of course – with the royal family. Thedra took up her post against the wall behind Thorin.

Thedra was not overly surprised to see that Elaria had managed to seat herself next to Thorin. Thedra was too far away to hear the conversation, but she was able to see that Elaria turned her attention to Thorin quite often. She leaned in slightly whenever they conversed, and a ready smile was never far from her lips. In spite of Thorin's earlier protestations, it didn't appear that he was all that bothered by her attentions.

Dinner was the most boisterous she had seen yet. The ale flowed freely, and the kitchen staff had clearly outdone themselves. As the moon rose, the guards sealed the mountain for the night, and the remaining warriors were relieved of their duties for the evening.

Thedra nodded slightly at Thorin as she left her post and headed towards one of the tables below. She made her way towards a group of her fellow warriors, but faltered a bit when she realized Dwalin was part of the group. She was about to turn away, but it was too late – she had been noticed.

“Thedra!” Kili called out. Somehow, the young dwarf had managed to worm his way out from the stuffy head table, and was carousing with the older warriors. The other guards hailed her arrival, and Balin pressed a mug of ale into her good hand.

Balin smiled up at Thedra. “The cloak looks good on you, lass.” Everyone raised their cups in agreement, and all drank deeply. At that moment, the music started and was greeted with shouts of approval from everyone assembled. Several of the dwarfs – including Kili – got up to dance.

Thedra took another gulp of ale and sat down next to Dwalin. They had steadily avoided each other since the night of the accident. Thedra had been torn on how to fix the situation. She was worried that Dwalin still blamed himself for her injury and wanted to alleviate any of those thoughts – but at the same time, she was embarrassed by her own actions, and vaguely concerned that she might have given him the wrong impression about her feelings towards him. She knew, though, that eventually they would need to address what had happened. Perhaps tonight - with a tankard or two of ale - might be the night she found the courage.

“Dwalin?”

Dwalin didn't look at her, but nodded shortly. “Thedra.” He took a sip of ale. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm well. The healer says I should be able to use my arm again in two or three weeks.”

Dwalin stared into his mug. “That's good to hear.”

Thedra stared at him, at a loss on how to continue. Before she could think of anything else to say, he stood up. “Excuse me,” he said quietly as he walked away.

Thedra gazed at his retreating back sadly. She feared she had waited too long, and had now lost one of her dearest friends.

A cheer went up from the dance floor. Thedra turned around and saw that Thorin was leading Elaria to the middle of the crowd. Elaria beamed at him, and the dance began.

Over the next few hours, Thedra observed Thorin quietly. He danced with Elaria more and more frequently as the night went on. At one point in their conversation, Elaria leaned in conspiratorially, and was rewarded with a roar of laughter from Thorin. Thedra had never seen him so joyful.

Thedra's heart constricted. Faced with both the loss of her friend and her – now acknowledged – jealousy of the woman courting her prince, she lost all appetite for the party. She grabbed an abandoned mug of ale and downed it quickly. With an unsteady step, she made her way to the balcony, grabbing yet another cup of booze on her way out.

Fortunately, no one else had yet sought refuge from the party here. Thedra leaned on the railing and rubbed her temple with her good hand. She took another swig from her mug, and heard a step behind her. It was Dwalin.

He looked at her uncomfortably, but it was obvious that this wasn't a chance encounter. He had followed her out here.

“Are...are you ok, lass?” he asked quietly.

Thedra stared at him for a long moment, then sat her mug down. The churning emotions inside her were on the verge of spilling over. “No. No, I'm not.”

She began to pace, hoping the movement would help dispel the fears threatening to overwhelm her. “I don't know how to fix what's happened between us.” A single tear coursed down her cheek and into her scarf. “I'm terrified of losing...” She choked on the last word.

“Oh, lass.” Dwalin reached for her hand, then drew back. Thedra's hand shot out and grabbed it before he could pull away completely.

Dwalin sighed shakily. “You don't know how the accident has haunted my nightmares. And then, when I lost my composure, and you-”

“I know,” she interrupted. She held Dwalin's hand tightly. “I knew instantly that what I did must have been so confusing.” Her voice was tinged with shame. “I'm too...too impulsive.” She looked into his eyes deeply, trying desperately to convey her meaning. “Dwalin – you have been my trainer, my mentor, and most importantly, my friend. That night – all I could think of was alleviating your guilt and pain, and I didn't think through what the consequences of my actions might be.”

“I see,” Dwalin said quietly.

Thedra continued. “You mean more to me than anyone in my life. And when your health or heart are in danger, I can't promise that I won't behave so irrationally again. My logic is uncertain in such matters.” She sighed. “But I will try my best not to shame you, or give you any discomfort again.”

“It's quite alright, lass. It's behind us now.”

Thedra wiped away her tears. “Thank you, my dear friend.”

Dwalin smiled unsteadily at her, and Thedra wrapped her good arm around him in a warm embrace. Dwalin hesitated for only a moment before raising his arms around her as well.

A second later, Thorin and Elaria stepped though the doorway, and started at the embracing couple.

“Forgive us,” Thorin intoned stonily as Dwalin and Thedra pulled away from each other.

Thedra laughed slightly, color rising in her cheeks. “No, no...nothing to worry about.” Dwalin gazed sheepishly at Thorin.

Elaria looked at Thorin expectantly.

Thorin took the hint. “My apologies. My lady, this is Dwalin, our master at arms. And this is Thedra, a member of my personal guard and your escort during your stay in the Blue Mountains.”

Both Dwalin and Thedra bowed at the introductions. Elaria looked at Thedra, somewhat surprised. “It's not often we find a female warrior in such a lofty position.”

Thedra inclined her head towards Thorin. “Prince Thorin has been very generous to me.”

“I don't doubt it.” Elaria shot Thorin another glowing smile.

Suddenly it occurred to Thedra why Thorin and Elaria might have escaped the party to the balcony. Thedra blushed slightly, and glanced awkwardly at Dwalin. “Well,” she managed. “The fresh air has revived me. I think it's time for a dance.”

Elaria grabbed Thedra's hand excitedly; Thedra was surprised by the woman's familiarity. “Oh yes, let's dance! Will you partner me, Thedra?”

Thedra's eyebrows were reaching towards her brow, but she recovered quickly. “Of course, my lady.”

Thedra let Elaria lead her to the dance floor, and the rowdy dwarves in the room roared a welcome to the two ladies. Thedra laughed as Elaria twirled around on the floor, and they both easily fell into step with the music.

As much as Thedra hated to admit it, Elaria was charming. Thedra did her best to enjoy the rest of the evening, and she managed fairly well, in fact. But she couldn't completely ignore the fact that she was probably gazing into the smiling face of Thorin's future bride.


	9. Dancers and Dangers

Thorin was unable to sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed himself so freely as he did earlier that evening – but it had all been shattered the moment he walked in on Dwalin and Thedra embracing.

Sighing harshly, Thorin sat up in bed. There was no use in thrashing about in his sheets when he knew he'd never be able to sleep until he had figured out exactly what had happened to him this night.

Thorin crossed his bedroom quietly and retrieved his pipe. The night was still very warm, being so early in autumn still, so he wore only a pair of loose trousers and no tunic. At this late hour, he didn't worry about running into anyone in the halls.

Thorin silently padded down the stairwell and into the great hall. Instinctively, he moved out to the balcony – to the place where his turmoil this night had begun.

Leaning back slightly, he lit his pipe and puffed thoughtfully. The evening had not turned out to be at all what he had expected. He had been pleasantly surprised by Elaria – she was not only beautiful, but had a wonderful disposition and lively mind. He truly had been enjoying himself, but the moment he saw his master at arms in a tight embrace with Thedra, his mind had gone blank with a cold rage.

It was similar to the afternoon that Thedra had been hurt. He had first attributed his discomfort to the embarrassing position he had been thrown into. While that logic applied to this situation as well, the sheer amount of his anger was so disproportionate to circumstance. It had to be something more.

 _Is it because he's my master at arms and she's a member of my guard?_ While others may find such – connections – distracting, Thorin knew both Dwalin and Thedra well enough to know that no relationship would cause them to fail in their duties towards him or his people.

Thorin also easily dismissed any fear that a new relationship might drain his and Dwalin's friendship. Dwalin was one of his closest friends and confidants – he would rather die than turn Thorin away. 

That left Thedra. When examining his friendship with Thedra, Thorin couldn't imagine that a new relationship would cause any change in their friendship, either. But at the same time, the thought of Thedra in Dwalin's arms – or anyone's arms – brought about that sick feeling the in his stomach again. 

Slow realization took over as Thorin set his pipe down on the ledge.

_No. Sweet Mahal, this cannot be happening._

*****

Thedra couldn't sleep, either. Dancing with Elaria had effectively sobered her up, but she couldn't bring herself to retreat to her room quite yet. Instead, she made a round of the mountain. Walking her route calmed her nerves, though in reality it was unnecessary to patrol this night with the entire mountain locked down. Still, Thedra's senses heightened when she perceived the door leading to the great hall's balcony cracked open, and the sweet smell of pipe smoke wafting inside.

Thedra crept quietly towards the door. Since she was unable to wield a weapon, she had to rely on stealth alone. As she got a better view of the balcony, she froze.

Thorin's profile was unmistakable, yet she could hardly believe what she was seeing. He was uncovered from the waist up, and the moonlight highlighted every sculpted muscle on his torso.

She knew she should turn away, but she couldn't move. Any moment Thorin could look over his shoulder and catch her staring at him. As Thedra watched, Thorin sighed harshly and put his pipe down. He looked deeply troubled. He rubbed his eyes briefly, then stood up.

 _Leave_ , Thedra's mind screamed at her. _Leave now._

Thorin walked to the edge of the balcony and began to sing in a low voice. It was that same mournful tune from the hunting party a few weeks ago. Thedra closed her eyes and leaned her forehead gently against the door frame. She lost herself in his rich voice, as she had the first time. Thorin's song finally trailed off, and then there was silence.

Something was wrong.

Thedra's eyes snapped open, and she found Thorin staring straight at her through the glass. Thedra gasped. _Damn it!_

She couldn't run away now. She slowly made her way through the door, but was careful to keep her eyes averted from his naked torso. “Forgive me. I...I couldn't sleep, then I grew concerned when I saw the open door. I didn't mean to intrude on your solitude.” She turned to walk away.

“No. Wait.” Thorin motioned for Thedra to sit next to him.

She hesitated for a moment, then sat uneasily. Thorin seemed unconcerned about his state of dress, so Thedra tried valiantly to appear the same...and hoped the flush creeping across her face was hidden in the pale moonlight.

Thorin picked up his pipe and took a puff, then passed it to Thedra. She slipped the slender end through her scarf and inhaled deeply. The warm smoke calmed her somewhat, and she looked at the prince thoughtfully. “Is anything amiss, Thorin?”

Thorin sighed and retrieved his pipe. “It...it is not something I can talk about right now.”

Thedra lowered her gaze. “I see.”

Thorin sat silently for a few minutes, not directly looking at Thedra. But he was studying her surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye. He noticed she didn't seem completely relaxed, and occasionally her eyes would flit to his chest. _Interesting._

While he usually didn't spend much thought on his appearance, the week leading up to this night's events had put more focus on it than usual, due to his father's insistence that he look presentable for his guests' arrival. Thorin had come to realize that he was rather handsome in his own way. His body, at least, was in peak condition. He smirked slightly as he saw that Thedra apparently noticed that as well.

But he wasn't the only one with a warrior's body. Unbidden, the image of Thedra and Dwalin on this very balcony rose in his mind. It then occurred to him that Thedra's nervousness – and sleeplessness – might be due to another reason entirely.

But unlike with Dwalin, Thorin didn't feel a rush of anger towards Thedra. Only a vague feeling of sadness tinged with concern.

“Thedra,” he whispered quietly. He took her hand. “Is there anything amiss with you?”

Thedra looked down at their joined hands. “It's hard to explain. It feels like we're on the edge of great change.”

“Indeed, we are.” He paused briefly. “But I was inquiring more about...personal affairs.”

Thedra's head shot up, and her face flushed deeply. “I...I know what you may have thought when you happened upon me and Dwalin tonight. But I can assure you – nothing improper has happened between us.”

“I had no concern in regards to propriety. I was more concerned for the...feelings...of two of my closest companions.”

Thedra looked at their hands in her lap. “You must have noticed that things have been strained between us since that night of the accident. I'm glad to say that I believe tonight we started on the road to restoring our friendship.”

“I'm glad to hear it,” Thorin replied softly, releasing her hand finally. Thedra's reply hadn't really answered what was going on between her and Dwalin, but he was at least relieved to hear the tension that had plagued them since the accident was behind them.

A cold gust of wind suddenly breezed through, and Thorin shivered. Thedra noticed and untied her cloak with her good hand, and wrapped it around Thorin's shoulders. Thorin laughed softly and stood up. “Shall we head to bed, then?” He offered his arm.

Thedra inclined her head and took his arm. They made their way back to their rooms in a comfortable silence.


	10. Unmasked

Thorin was dreaming.

_Thedra was lying in his bed, like the night she had been injured. But this time she was unhurt, and he approached her slowly. She looked up at him expectantly, and raised her arms up to pull him down into a tight embrace. Thorin's arms circled her, and she buried her face into his hair._

_“Thorin,” she breathed into his ear._

_Thorin groaned. “I've waited for this for so long...”_

_The next thing Thorin knew, they were both naked. Thorin could feel Thedra's small frame crushed to his chest, and he slid his thick hands down the slope of her backside. She pulled back slightly, and looked deep into his eyes. Slowly, she began to unwind her scarf. As she pulled back the last layer, Thorin saw-_

Nothing. Thorin woke with a start, damp with perspiration. The hall was still quiet – it must be early yet. Groaning, Thorin fell back against his pillows. His manhood was straining against his trousers after such a vivid dream, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. He knew if he touched himself to Thedra's image, he'd never be able to quite look her in the eye in the morning.

*****

“Dismissed.” The line of warriors filed out before Dwalin, but he held his hand a moment for Thedra.

“Can you spare a moment, lass?”

Thedra nodded, and was concerned to see the obvious look of worry on Dwalin's face. “What is it?”

Dwalin looked around to make sure everyone else was out of earshot. “I wanted to warn you to be extra vigilant over the coming days – especially when it comes to your duties with Thorin.”

Thedra's eyes narrowed. “What danger are we in?”

Dwalin shook his head. “No danger...none other than the usual, anyway. No. I wish I could be more specific, but there are great changes on the way, and I need to know my top warriors are prepared.”

Thedra was less than satisfied with Dwalin's explanation – she had never seen him so evasive. But she nodded her head and assured him she would do her best.

The next morning, Dwalin, Balin, and Thrain had vanished.

*****

_I can't believe it_ , Thorin thought for the hundredth time. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that his father had up and left to go on a foolish quest to retake Erebor – in the middle of his guests' visit, to add insult to injury. But he was stunned that Dwalin and Balin had agreed to go with Thrain without any word to him. Thorin clenched his teeth, but grudgingly understood that his friends were his father's warriors first, and their first loyalties resided with their king.

Thorin made arrangements with his father's advisers for the afternoon, and was glad he could rely on Thedra to make the necessary excuses to his visitors.

*****

Thedra's head was still reeling from the news of the morning, but she pushed those thoughts aside as she made her way towards Elaria's quarters. Her ears sharpened as she heard the unmistakable sound of a woman yelling. There was a pause, and then a blood-curdling scream.

Thedra barged through Elaria's door with her dagger drawn in her left hand. She stared in shock at the scene before her. Elaria's servant was on the floor, temple bleeding with tears streaming down her face. In the next instant, Elaria's booted foot collided with the serving girls face.

“You worthless bitch! You can't. Do. Anything. Right!” She punctuated her sentence with fresh kicks to the girls face and chest.

“Enough!” Thedra roared, and bodily pushed herself between the irate woman and the bleeding girl.

Elaria blinked. She clearly had not heard Thedra enter the room. She recovered herself quickly. “Get that dagger out of my face,” she snapped.

Thedra didn't move. Elaria stepped closer, glaring deep into her eyes. “You may be a warrior, but you're still a servant in your own way. You've been ordered to serve me, so you will do as I say...or Thorin will hear of it.”

Thedra slowly sheathed her blade, never breaking eye contact with Elaria. The sobbing serving girl used their interaction to run from the room, clutching her face and chest.

“As you wish...my lady.” Thedra's voice dripped with contempt.

Elaria tossed her hair, then led the way out of her room. The two women walked quietly for some time, with Thedra keeping a few steps behind Elaria. As much as Thedra wished she could go to Thorin immediately about what she had just witnessed, she knew her prince was scrambling to pull together the pieces Thrain had just dumped into his lap. As important as this was, it would have to wait until this evening.

Thedra could still scarcely believe it herself. Elaria must be a good actress indeed if she was able to conceal her cruelty so well. Thedra grimly wondered what other unpleasant aspects the female dwarf was hiding about herself.

By the time the two had entered the market outside of the mountain, Elaria's wide smile was plastered to her face again. She made it a point to speak to all that she met – she was clearly intent on winning the heart's of Thorin's people.

The sun was burning hot over the mountain when Thedra heard the first scream. Swinging around, she couldn't believe her eyes when she saw three orcs charging down the main road of the market. Without hesitation, she ripped off her sling and grabbed a hammer from the smithy they had just passed. She yelled loudly for the guards on the wall to come down, but she knew they wouldn't reach the road in time.

As the first orc attacked, she swung the hammer and landed a solid blow above the beast's right eye. Thedra felt her shoulder scream as several of her stitches pulled loose. Another dwarf was battling the second orc to her right, so she turned her attention to the third and last one.

But it was too late. Before she could raise her hammer, the beast brought one sharp claw down across her face and chest. She saw the beast looming over her and waited for the death blow. But as she lost consciousness, the blow never came. The last thing she saw was the orc falling backwards, with two arrows lodged in his chest.

*****

Thedra woke up in one of the chambers in the mountain. The healer was working over her, patching her shoulder wound again. She felt the burn of her new injury on her collar bone as well, along with the slice running down her temple and cheek.

That wasn't the only thing she felt. Her face felt lighter, cooler. Something was wrong.

In horror, she reached up to touch her scarf. It wasn't there.

The healer finally met her eyes briefly. “I'm sorry. I had to remove it to treat your wound.”

Thedra was frantic. “Did anyone see? Who else knows?”

The healer studied her sadly. “Everyone, child. Everyone knows.”

Thedra closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. “How long have I been out?”

“Several hours. Don't worry about the orcs – they seem to have been a rogue bunch that thought they could take advantage of the king's absence. No more have been spotted since.”

Before Thedra could muster a reply, the door flew open, and Dis stormed into the room.

“Out,” she said to the healer, flatly.

As the healer retreated, Dis never took her eyes off of Thedra. She was shaking with rage.

“How dare you?” she whispered. “How dare you pretend to be one of us, to speak our language and learn our skills?”

Thedra didn't know how to respond. Her deepest fear was blossoming into fruition.

Dis shook her head. “Get out. Get out...now.”

Thedra slowly tried to sit up, but winced as the pain in her shoulder seared through her.

Dis went to the door. “Guards!”

Two younger warriors entered, looking at Dis and then Thedra, unsure.

“Get her out of our mountain.”

Without a word, the two guards grabbed Thedra's arms and hoisted her from the bed. She wore only a thin, long gown, and her feet were bare. The guards half walked her, half dragged her to the entrance of the mountain, and then left her crumpled at the top of the stairs leading towards the market.

Shakily, Thedra stood. The market was almost completely empty. Slowly, she made her way towards her shack, the brisk fall wind cutting through her thin garment. By the time she turned the corner towards her home, her uncovered feet were blistered and bleeding, and her new wound on her chest had stained her tunic.

When she was in view of her shack, she padded to a slow halt. Remnants of her baskets and mats were torn up and strewn around the street. The wooden portion of the west wall was gone, and the roof still smouldered from the fire that had been set to the place. As she slowly approached what was left of her house, she encountered a few of her neighbors. Some turned their backs to her. Others stared at her with hollow eyes. 

She entered the building carefully. The stone larder in the west well had been ransacked, her food stolen. The pile of rushes she had so carefully gathered for her trade was damp and covered with soot. Her bed was gone, her chair broken. The only thing left in place was the small pouch of coins she had hidden behind a loose stone in the wall. She could only hope that there might be one dwarf or two that would desire her money enough to risk selling her food.

Thedra felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She crawled onto the pile of ruined rushes, and fought back her tears before her exhaustion took over her.

*****

Thedra awoke in the early hours of the morning, shivering. The temperature had finally dropped as winter was approaching. She strained her ears, realizing it was not the cold that had woken her. Someone was in her home, moving towards her.

 _And this is how I die_ , she thought.

Instead of the blade she was expecting, she felt a soft pelt of fur draped over her. She looked up, straight into Kili's worried face.

“Kili!” she whispered. “What are you doing here?”

Kili sat down next to her. “My mother told me you had been sent away, because you weren't like us.”

Thedra lowered her eyes briefly. “It's true. I'm not a dwarf...I'm a human.”

Kili looked at her for a long moment. “The thing I don't understand is that you're mostly like us. You just don't have a beard, that's all. I mean...I don't have a beard yet either. Why is that alright for me and not for you?”

Thedra sighed. “It's a long story, and I don't think I'm the best one to explain it to you. But in the end, all I can say is that while I never meant to hurt anyone here, most people consider what I've done to be...dishonorable.”

Kili looked troubled. “Are we still friends, Thedra?”

Thedra took Kili's hand. “Dear Kili, my affection for you will never change. But it is probably best that we don't see each other again. Your mother would be very angry if she knew you had come here tonight.”

Kili's nose twitched. “I don't care. My mother is always angry at me no matter what I do.”

Stifling a laugh, Thedra squeezed Kili's hand. “It's only because she loves you so much. Now, Kili, you must go. And thank you for the blanket.”

Kili nodded ruefully, and slowly left Thedra's home.


	11. An Exile of Emotion

The temperature continued to drop steadily over the next several days – it was clear the first snow was on its way, much earlier than the dwarves had anticipated. In spite of the hunting teams that had been sent out that summer, it was clear that if the winter came this early, that the mountain's cellars would not be nearly full enough to feed all of the people though the winter. Food rationing began immediately, and the dwarves busied themselves with preparing their homes for the winter.

Thedra used her last few coins to buy slabs of salted meat and several wheels of cheese for her larder. Now that she was no longer masquerading as a dwarf, she also saw no reason not to stash as many berries and stalks of asparagus as she could find. 

She also gathered wood and rushes, and stayed up early into the mornings to rebuild her burnt wall, and add insulation to the entire building.

On the sixth day, the snow began to fall. Thedra found two scraps of cloth to bind her feet, to provide even the slightest protection against the cold. She then used a few of her fresh rushes to fashion two large, loose baskets. She grabbed a long but sturdy stick, and headed down towards the river.

As she had expected, the change in weather had encouraged the fish to migrate, and the stream was shining silver as they splashed through the currents. Thedra lowered her two fishing baskets, and within a few minutes had hauled out several dozen fish. Shivering against the cold, yet smiling, she made her way back home.

The snow was falling fast when she reached her street. Several of her neighbors stopped and stared at her catch. She entered her home and hung one basket up by the window, and glanced down at the other one still in her hands. Even with salting and freezing much of the fish, there was still too much for her to eat alone before it spoiled. She thought about the hungry faces she had passed on the street. _Even though the people have abandoned me, I will not abandon them._

Thedra stepped back out and went to her first neighbor. The old widow was huddled by her fire, and started when she saw Thedra standing her doorway. Thedra said nothing, merely offered the women two of her fish. The old woman's eyes filled with tears as Thedra turned away.

“Mahal bless you, child,” the woman whispered as Thedra left.

Thedra went to the next house, where a stout dwarf was busy finishing up the last patches to his roof. Thedra offered him two fish as well. The dwarf glowered her for a moment, then stuffed his stubby fingers into his pocket and pulled out a coin. Thedra tried to refuse payment, but he slammed the coin down on the bench beside them and turned his back on her. It was clear he would not accept charity from her, only trade.

Sighing, she left the fish and retrieved the coin, and went to the large house across from her. A family of dwarves lived here, with three dwarflings. The father opened the door slightly, but when he saw Thedra standing outside, he slammed it in her face. Thedra knocked again, and spoke out “Please, I have some fish I would like to give to you.”

The door swung open and the dwarf came storming out. “How DARE you speak in our tongue in front of me and mine!”

Thedra stood her ground. “Forgive me, but I knew of no other way to explain my intentions,” she responded in the Common Tongue.

The dwarf stared at her uncomprehendingly.

“That's what I thought,” she muttered, as she thrust out the bundle of five fish at him again.

The dwarf sneered at her offering, but before he closed the door, Thedra could see his wife looking out at the fish anxiously.

Thedra's last stop was the shack on the other side of her home, but no one answered. She left two fish hanging on their door knob, trusting the snow to keep them fresh.

She returned home and prepared most of her remaining fish for storage, then cooked up two more for her own dinner. She settled in for the night, and finally began weaving her wares again.

*****

Thorin sat in his father's council chamber with his head in his hands. It was hard to believe only a week had passed, with all that had happened.

 _A human_ , he thought. _A human girl has been living with us this whole time, with none of us the wiser._

Thorin had to admit he felt personally betrayed. Every day she spent with them was a lie. A lie that had been much too close to him. 

His shame intensified when he thought about his growing feelings for the woman. About how he had started to fantasize about her. The thought made him ill. But what was even worse was the knowledge that the woman he had started caring for had never really existed at all.

Part of him wished Dwalin was here to offer his advice, but the other part realized this betrayal may injure Dwalin even more than it had himself.

Thinking of Dwalin brought the prince back to the matters at hand. He needed to conclude this sham of a visit from the Iron Mountains so that he could get back to food emergency this sudden change of weather had brought about.

*****

As night fell, Thedra heard a knock on her door. As she opened it, she found the father from across the street standing uncomfortably before her.

“My wife wishes you to come over. And...to bring the fish,” he stated haltingly.

Thedra picked up the bundle of fish she had kept cold in the snow and followed him. When they went inside of his hut, Thedra could see three small faces peering at her intently from a large bed in the corner. The dwarf's wife was standing nervously by the fire.

Thedra didn't know if she should say anything, so she merely offered the fish to the woman. She took them silently, then finally said in a rush:

“We apologize for our behavior earlier. We thank you for your gift, and would like to give you something in return.” With that, the woman sat down the fish, and grabbed a bundle of clothing she handed to Thedra. “We don't have a lot to offer, but these are some clothes we can no longer use, but they should fit you.”

Thedra stared down at the breeches and coat the woman had handed her. “Thank you,” she whispered.

The group stared at each other a moment, then Thedra turned to leave.

“Wait,” a gruff voice called out. Thedra turned towards the father. He bent down and reached for something under the desk. He pulled out a pair of well-worn work boots. “We can't use these anymore, either,” he said as he handed them to her.

Thedra nodded silently, and left. As she crossed the street however, she could hear the sound of a hammer and nail, and it sounded like it was coming from the back of her house. She peeked around the side, and sure enough – the neighbor she had left the fish on the door for was hard at work adding larger branches of wood to her west wall.

He noticed her staring and nodded at his work. “Those smaller branches you used will last for a bit, but not all winter. This will be better in the long run.” He turned back to the wall, and kept hammering.

*****

Fortunately for all, the early snow was short-lived, and the weather improved after a few days. Thedra sported her new breeches and boots, and cut off lower half of her tunic and added the layer of fabric around her breasts for support and warmth. She was hanging up a new mat against her wall when she heard a low commotion outside.

As she stepped out of her door, she saw that Thorin and Elaria were slowly making their way down the street on short ponies. Thorin was anxious to check in with all of his people to see how they had fared the first snow. Thorin locked eyes with Thedra and brought his pony to a halt. Thedra stood her ground, and never took her eyes away from his.

He approached her slowly. “You're still here,” he said in the Common Tongue. It was more of a statement than a question.

“Yes, my prince,” she replied coolly, in kind.

“I am not your prince,” he rumbled threateningly.

Thedra raised her chin, but said nothing. Thorin looked around at the group of dwarves that had gathered around, and reverted to Khuzdul. “I am told that you helped keep my people fed during this latest emergency. For that, you have my thanks.” He turned back to his pony, and remounted. “My father's council had been advising your exile. But I have decided to let you remain in our camp, if that is your wish. You will not, however, enter the mountain under any circumstance.”

Thorin picked up his reigns, and resumed his tour of the street. Before he passed Thedra, he glanced at her once more. “And you will remove that stone and braid.”

Thedra's mouth fell open slightly, but she clamped it shut again as Elaria moved past her. The two women glared at each other for a moment, before Elaria turned her attention back to Thorin.

Thedra walked slowly back into her shack. _He wants me to remove his braid?_ Dwarven hair ceremonies were very specific. When a friendship or other bond was ended, the one who had broken the relationship was the one entitled to undo any braids or remove any trinkets he or she had added to the other's hair or beard. By asking Thedra to remove her own braid, Thorin was somehow trying to avoid the great dishonor he would bestow upon her should he remove it himself. Thedra grabbed the end of the braid and stared at it for a long while.


	12. A Warrior and Savior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As with the rest of the story, the time line of the absence of Thrain, Dwalin, and Balin has been sped up to have only taken a few months, rather than a few years.

Weeks passed, then months. The weather held out for a long while, and fortunately the prince's hunters were finally able to stock the mountain's cellars properly before the winter truly began. Thedra lived in an uneasy truce with most of her neighbors. She didn't see much of the royal family or their guests, but word reached down that the delegation from the Iron Hills had finally left – including Elaria. Thedra never found out if Thorin had learned about Elaria's treatment of her maid, but she silently thanked Mahal that Thorin was free from that woman's clutches.

The reality of the situation is that with Thrain gone, Thorin had no motivation to pursue Elaria or any other woman. He was now fully ruling the kingdom in his father's absence, and had no time to think of anything else. He officially decreed that his nephews would be his heirs should anything come of him, so the line of succession was secure for the time being.

Thorin was studying silently in his chamber when he heard the muted shout of a guard outside. He strode to the window and looked out...and saw two bedraggled dwarfs entering the gate. He would have recognized Dwalin's distinctive hairstyle anywhere.

Thorin rushed down and pushed his way through the throng to Dwalin and Balin. No one else had returned with them. Thorin looked questioningly at Dwalin, and his friend shook his head and lowered his eyes.

“May we go somewhere private, my king?”

*****

Thorin sat back, slowly letting the information Dwalin had told him sink in. Though his friends had not seen Thrain die with their own eyes, it was hard to imagine that he could have somehow survived in the hands of Sauron's followers. Hence Dwalin's insistence on Thorin's change of title.

“We have to accept what has happened, and move on. Our people are depending upon it, your majesty.”

Thorin smiled weakly at his friend. “The old rule still applies. Call me Thorin when we are alone.”

Dwalin glanced back at the door, thinking about the guards he had seen when they first entered. He had been surprised not to see Thedra among them or anywhere else in the mountain. “Thorin...is Thedra well?”

Thorin got up out of his chair and paced to the window. “Thedra...was not what she appeared to be.”

Dwalin's heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

Thorin turned around and gazed at his friend remotely. “A few days after you left, there was a rogue orc attack in the market. I had tasked Thedra with escorting our guests around the kingdom. Thedra was alone when the orcs arrived, and unarmed.” Thorin watched as the color drained from Dwalin's face. “She was injured, and her mask had to be removed.” Thorin took a deep breath. “Dwalin, Thedra is no dwarf. She is human.”

Dwalin stared at him. “Is? She is still alive, then?”

Thorin frowned at Dwalin's question. “Yes.”

“By Mahal, Thorin, where is she?” he demanded, standing up angrily.

“She still keeps her home below the market-” Thorin cut himself off as Dwalin raced out of the room.

*****

Thedra knew she should work on her weaving tonight, but she was just too tired. The events of the last few months were catching up with her. In spite of improvements made to her shack and the relative bounty of food, the amount of work Thedra had to put in to surviving while still injured had left her thinner and exhausted. The cold wind brought a cough with it, as well. She finally gave up trying to finish her basket, and laid down on the clean rushes next to the stone wall.

She had just drifted off to sleep when she heard a heavy step at her door. Before she could roll over to face her visitor, a deep voice reached her ears.

“Thedra?”

Thedra froze. It had been so long since she had heard anything of Dwalin. She fought down her instinct to get up and run to him, and instead kept her back to him. _Does he know, yet?_

“Dwalin, you're home?”

Dwalin took a few steps towards Thedra, and quickly took in the state of her home and clothing. He could see the burn marks from where the other dwarves had destroyed her shack, and the shoddy patchwork around the room. But what horrified Dwalin most of all was Thedra herself. She had grown far too thin, and her clothing – though clean – was threadbare, discolored, and obvious hand-me-downs. Other than the fur pelt she had thrown over her bundle of straw, Dwalin could see nothing else in her home that could protect her from the winter chill.

“Lass?” he whispered softly as he knelt by her side.

“Do you know?” she whispered back.

“Thorin told me.”

With those words, Thedra slowly turned to face him. She stared into his wide eyes, afraid of what she might find. Would there be revulsion, fear...hatred?

Dwalin stared in shock at Thedra's smooth face, but then his gaze settled back to her eyes. It was still those same eyes. It was still Thedra. With one quick motion, he gathered Thedra into a fierce hug.

Thedra burst into tears. Dwalin rubbed her back gently, alarmed to find that she was even smaller than she appeared. Then Thedra stifled a cough. As Dwalin pulled back to look at her face, he could see the dark rings around her eyes more clearly, along with the paleness of her skin.

Without a word, Dwalin ripped off his cloak, wrapped it snugly around Thedra, and carried her back towards the mountain.

When Thedra saw where Dwalin was taking her, she tried to protest. “Thorin has banished me from entering.”

Dwalin never slowed his steps. “I will deal with Thorin. Never you mind.”

As Dwalin moved through the hallways towards his chambers, they passed several pairs of guards. One looked like he was about to confront Dwalin, but then quickly backed off when Dwalin fixed him with a stern glare. Dwalin may have been away from the Blue Mountains for quite some time, but he was still master at arms.

Dwalin's room was smaller than Thorin's, but it was tactfully furnished and near the training hall. A warm fire was roaring in the fire place, and a small shaft let in a sliver of moonlight. The dwarf set Thedra gently on the bed, then pulled a small tub near the fire. Without a word, he lifted a great cauldron filled with water and sat in in the fire place.

He turned to Thedra with a small chuckle. “This was supposed to be for me. My first real bath since I left this place. But I think you need it more than I do, lass.” He sat down, and looked at Thedra closely. “I won't lie – I'm greatly worried about you. I know it's not the proper thing to do...but will you allow me to take care of you?”

It took Thedra a moment to realize Dwalin was offering to help her bathe. She, of course, had never been naked in front of anyone before. It was highly irregular for dwarves to be so familiar with each other, unless they were married.

However, Thedra was not a dwarf. And...she was indeed too weak to enter the bath tub on her own.

Most importantly, she trusted Dwalin. Out of all of her companions, he was the only one who had remained constant. She looked at him and nodded.

Slowly, Dwalin helped her undress. He took her boots off carefully, then unwound the fabric around her torso. He slid her tunic over her arms and head, then finally untied her breeches and pulled them off as well. Before scooping Thedra off the bed, he poured the hot water into the tub, then inspected her wounds. They had not healed neatly where the stitches had pulled out and had left some ugly scars – but thankfully, they had all healed completely without infection.

As Dwalin lowered her into the warm bath, Thedra suppressed a low groan. The water felt so good! She leaned back against the soft towel Dwalin had left on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes. In a moment, she felt Dwalin lift her left hand, and begin to wash.

They sat in silence for quite sometime, the only noise being that of the bath water while Dwalin gently bathed her entire body. He did her feet at the end, and painstakingly washed every cut, emptied every blister, and removed every thorn lodged in her skin. Thedra was beside herself with the care he was showing her. Lastly, he poured warm, clean water over her hair, and massaged her scalp gently. He purposely avoided touching the braid at Thedra's temple; in spite of Thorin's insistence that she remove it, she defiantly maintained it, as she always had.

When Dwalin was done, he wrapped Thedra's hair in a small towel, then helped her out and to his chair. He patted her dry, then helped her into one of his own long tunics. Without a word, he carried her back to his bed, and settled her into the blankets.

Thedra's eyes were already drooping as he spoke at last. “You're safe, lass. Sleep now. I'll back shortly.”

As Dwalin left to go shower in the cold mountain spring water, Thedra fell into a deep sleep.


	13. Ascension

“He did _what_?” Thorin thundered at his guard.

“He took the human woman back to his room. No one saw her leave.”

After all of the stress, pain, and sleepless nights Thorin had endured over the last half of the year, this was the final straw. He slammed his fist down on the table. “Take two dozen men to Dwalin's quarters. Bring both him and Thedra to the great hall. Now!”

*****

Thedra awoke to Dwalin snoring in the chair beside her. She had slept so deeply that she hadn't heard him return the night before. Smiling, she reached out and touched his arm.

Dwalin opened his eyes slowly, and returned Thedra's grin. He rolled his head to the side, to work out the kink in his neck. “Good morning, lass.” He stood up and stretched. “I have something for you.” He picked up a large bundle of clothing and handed it to her.

“It's my old leather – what I wore before Thrain gave us our new armor.”

“I found it in the laundry. You deserve to have your proper attire back. And that eventually will include your new armor, too, if I have anything to say about it.”

Thedra laughed. Slowly, she pulled on her familiar clothing. It was a little loose on her now, but she finally began to feel like her old self. Dwalin was helping her tighten her laces on her back when four guards entered the room.

“What's the meaning of this?” Dwalin flared.

“The king has demanded both of you in the great hall at once.”

*****

It was a rather large crowd that had gathered in the great hall, considering how little time had passed since Thorin had ordered Dwalin and Thedra to be brought before him. Groups of dwarves clumped together speaking in hushed tones, waiting for whatever happened next.

Dwalin and Thedra strode in, surrounded by Thorin's contingent of guards. Thorin noticed she was back in her old fighting leathers, but they seemed to be too big for her now. Thorin hadn't realized how much weight she had lost over the last several months. Thorin tried to push these realizations aside as both warriors stepped upon the dais and bowed before the king.

“Explain yourself.” Thorin's voice was tinged with anger.

“That would be my question to you, your majesty,” Dwalin shot back evenly.

A few people in the crowd gasped at Dwalin's thinly veiled insolence. Thorin raised his head, as if to make himself appear even taller.

“What do you imagine you have the need – or the right – to ask me to explain?”

Dwalin shook his head in a cold fury. “Explain who you have become in this time that I have been away.” His eyes bore directly into Thorin's. “I could never – NEVER – believe my friend, my prince – and yes, now, my king – could ever behave as dishonorably as you have done.”

Thorin stormed down the steps and into Dwalin's face. “Dishonorably? _Dishonorably_? You have the audacity to speak to me of dishonor when you take unwed girls back to your chamber? You-”

Dwalin punched Thorin squarely in the face.

The guards moved quickly towards the dais, but Thorin, still bent over from the force of the blow, held up his hand to stop them. He slowly righted himself and looked at Dwalin with a murderous incredulity.

“Don't talk to me about your concern for 'unwed girls', King Thorin,” Dwalin spat, “when you sent this 'unwed girl' out on her own to die!”

“I sent no one out to die! Dis had every-”

“Oh, and you tried to stop Thedra's expulsion? You came to her rescue, and undid the wrongs that had been done to her by your kin?”

Thorin stared at Dwalin, at a loss for words. 

Dwalin continued. “As I understand, rather than protecting or rescuing this girl – this _woman_ , who has pledged her loyalty and her life to you – you sealed her fate by exiling her from the castle, knowing full well her house was destroyed and she would have no way to support herself without your sanction.” Dwalin drew himself up as tall as he could and looked Thorin straight in the eyes. “Yes. Yes, my king...I would have the _audacity_ to speak to you of dishonor.”

The great hall was deathly silent. 

Thorin raised his hand and pointed at Thedra. “This woman lied to us. She lied every day she wore that scarf and hid her true identity. Yet you expect me to honor the commitments made to me by a liar?”

Dwalin's voice softened and he took one step towards Thorin. “I would expect you to honor the commitments _you_ have made to her - the same commitments you have made to all of us.” Dwalin swung his arm out to indicate all of the people behind him. “You are our king. When Erebor fell, we all chose to follow your grandfather, your father...and now we choose to follow you. We have all entered into a contract – bound by our blood – that we will serve you, and you will protect us.”

Dwalin paused for a moment to stare at the assembled group. “Look out at your people. Young and old, men and women...the skilled and the weak. The one thread we have in common, is that we have chosen you as our king.” Dwalin stepped back towards Thedra and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Can you not accept the same thing from her?”

Thorin gazed at Thedra remorsefully. She had stayed silent and still during his and Dwalin's encounter. She spoke now.

“I don't remember much the day Dale burned. I was just a child, lost and fearful. The only thing that made any sense to me that day were your words: 'Follow me.'” 

She stepped forward and continued. “And I have followed you ever since. I may have been the daughter of man the day the dragon came, but I have lived every day since as a dwarf. I have been proud to fight for you, to live by your side, and to make a home in your kingdom.” She took a deep breath. “As far as I am concerned, my human blood is simply an accident of birth.” She stopped and waited. “I _am_ a dwarf.”

Thorin walked down the steps towards her. He stared into her eyes for a moment, then eyed her braid. “I ordered you to remove that braid, yet you defy me still. Why?”

Thedra looked down, then back at him. “You told me once you would not judge me on my appearance, but on my 'strength of character and unwavering loyalty.' Well, my king, judge me now. My loyalty to you and your people has not faltered.”

Thorin turned around and walked back to the throne sitting on the top of the dais, but did not sit down. He motioned to Thedra. “Come before me.”

Thedra ascended the steps, her heart hammering. _This is the end_ , she thought. _Once Thorin removes my braid, my exile will be complete._

Thedra stood still in front of Thorin, her head turned slightly so that he could better reach her braid – and so that he could not see the tears welling in her eyes. _I must not cry, I must NOT cry_ , she repeated to herself.

She was so focused on keeping her tears at bay that it took her awhile to realize that the gentle pull against her temple didn't feel quite right. Instead of moving upwards, the king's hands seemed to be moving down. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thorin reach for his own hair, and then a brief flash of silver reflected the candle light. Thorin lowered his hands.

“Turn around,” he said softly.

As Thedra turned to face the crowd, there was a collective gasp. Thedra wore a second braid in her hair, clasped with one of the king's own beads.

“Let it be known now that Thedra's rights and freedoms are wholly reinstated.”

*****

Thedra felt numb as she and Dwalin followed Thorin silently to his study. When the door was at last closed behind them, Thorin turned and addressed Dwalin.

“If you ever – _ever_ – raise your hand to me again, I'll clamp you in irons.”

Dwalin and Thorin glared hard at each other for one moment, then in the next were in a great bear hug, pounding on each others' backs. Thedra let out a short, weak laugh.

Dwalin pulled back, and dropped to one knee. “Then I have no doubt that you will never give me cause to take a swing at you again, your majesty.”

Thorin grunted at Dwalin as he rose and exited. Thorin stared at the door for a long moment after Dwalin had left, then finally turned his attention to Thedra.

The two stood in silence for a long moment, neither sure where to begin.

Thorin was shamed by what Dwalin had said a few minutes ago in the great hall. Thorin had been so enraged by the betrayal he had perceived against him, that he lost sight of how unjustly he had responded. Once he had gotten a closer look at Thedra on the platform in front of him, he could plainly see how much she had suffered...at his hands.

This woman had risked her life on the road here to protect his own, and he had honored her for it. And yet, how quick he had been to throw all of that away. It was unthinkable. It was utterly shameful. Thorin sat down in his chair, and rubbed his eyes wearily.

Thedra quietly moved before him, then knelt at his feet. Thorin lowered his hand, and she took each of his hands in both of her own. “All I can think to tell you is that I hid my race not to injure anyone else, but only to survive.”

Thorin closed his eyes. “My people are a secretive race – we do not accept outsiders easily.”

Thedra nodded. “I know.” She took a deep breath. “That day, in Dale...” He voice grew soft. “I was both afraid and ashamed. My family was dead, and the few individuals that remained hadn't the faintest idea of what to do, or how to survive. No one would have taken me in, and no one would have taken me elsewhere to safety, either. I have no doubt that had I remained in Dale, I would have died soon after.” She paused. “Likewise, if you had ever learned my true heritage, you would have left me with the first band of men you happened upon, no?” Thorin nodded, and she continued. “I can assure you, the outcome would have been the same. They would have cast me off the first chance they had...or worse.”

Thedra paused, rubbing her thumbs slowly over Thorin's palms. “I know now that you see me as a liar, someone you could never trust again. But the truth is, my race is the _only_ thing I kept hidden from you.” She shook her head fiercely. “I swear to you, I never pretended to be anyone else. Everything you know about me is the truth. I _am_ Thedra, and I am still the woman that threw you into the river to save you from the orc attack. I am still the woman who served you faithfully in your guard.” Her eyes flashed as she stared up into Thorin's face. “I am your friend, your confidant, and your loyal servant. Nothing else you have learned about me has ever been a lie.” She paused for a moment, then slowly – deliberately - leaned down and kissed both of his upturned palms gently.

Thorin closed his eyes, and blinked back the tear that was threatening to drop to his cheek. “Thedra...Thedra, I know now that I have wronged you, and I wish to make amends. But I also know that my faith in you has been sorely tried. I will need time to...adjust.”

“I understand,” Thedra whispered back quietly. She knelt for a moment longer, then rose and found a cloth and a cool bowl of water. Silently, she tended to the blossoming bruise on Thorin's cheek, left by Dwalin's fist.

*****

Dwalin finished searching one closet of armor, and went on towards the next. Considering Thedra's thin frame, he highly doubted that her armor had been redistributed to another dwarf.

“Ah, here it is,” he whispered to himself as he pulled the suit out. He grabbed his sleeve and buffed out a small blemish on the gleaming silver plate. Otherwise, it was still in perfect condition. He found her blue cloak next, but hesitated for a moment. While he was sure that Thorin would let Thedra return to guard duty, it was less certain that she'd be retained as a member of his personal staff.

He took the armor back to his chamber, and set it down on the chair. His eyes wandered over to the bathtub, still out from the night before. In his mind's eye, he could still picture Thedra, nude...her skin glistening in the water and fire light.

He closed his eyes briefly, wondering again what it all had meant – if anything. Dwarven courtship rituals were fairly specific, but now that he knew she was not a dwarf, everything was unclear.

_She's been raised by dwarves, and claims to live as a dwarf...but she is still human. Does she intend to live by our customs in all things, or does she hope that we remember her own – human – needs and desires?_ These questions and more ran round and round in Dwalin's head. _How much has she learned about out betrothal practices to begin with? Does she know the significance of the bath and is therefore accepting my overtures – or does she expect me to look at it as a human does? As just...a bath?_

The only thing that Dwalin was certain of was his own emotional involvement. He, after all, was still a dwarf...and his choice had been made. Once he had undressed her, there was no turning back. His heart would belong to her for the rest of his days.


	14. Nameday

The months that followed were a blessed improvement from the ones that had proceeded them. While Thorin's declaration had paved the way for Thedra's acceptance back into society, some old prejudices were hard to break. But in time, Thedra was eventually accepted – or at least tolerated – by the community.

Thorin had also reinstated Thedra's place in his personal guard, though Thedra noticed she usually received the shifts that placed her the farthest away from him. She assumed that was intentional, and it pained her to see Thorin so withdrawn from her. But he had told her he would need time to come to terms with what had happened, so she did her best to be patient.

What gave Thedra the most satisfaction was training with Dwalin and the others again. More of the mountain had been made habitable during the winter, and Thedra moved into permanent quarters in the expanded guard section. Thedra had recovered quickly from her cough and regained the weight she had lost. She spent most afternoons in the training hall, and enjoyed the renewed fellowship with her fellow warriors.

As winter melted into spring, many of the warriors took the first thaw as a chance to hunt again. While the party came up short on game, they happened upon a new trading post that had hunkered down against the snows along the road below the Blue Mountains. Wooden shacks had been hastily cobbled together, and the road teemed with travelers who had stopped there on their way through the forest.

Balin looked at the rest of the group. “Anybody care for a drink?”

Dwalin grinned in reply, and the dwarves made their way to the tavern.

Once the group stepped through the door, the commotion in the tavern ceased. The men stared at dwarves in silence. But in a moment everyone turned back to their drinks and conversations, and the group of hunters headed towards an empty table in the back.

Thedra was one of the last to enter. She had lived as a dwarf for so long – and seeing men again after so many years was an unexpected shock. She gathered herself, and stalked off after her party.

Thedra sat down with her companions, and enjoyed a cup of strong, brown lager. Balin was regaling the group with the story of his first hunt when three men approached their table, their stares boring into Thedra.

The table grew silent. Thedra stared back at the men, waiting.

“You,” the tallest man in the middle said to Thedra. “You're no dwarf.”

Thedra took a sip of her beer. “What of it?”

“Are you their prisoner?” At his question, the man's two companions drew their knives.

Chairs scratched the floor as the dwarves stood up around Thedra.

“Wait!” Thedra thew out her hands to stop the warriors from advancing on the men. “I am no prisoner. These are my most trusted companions.”

The men and dwarves eyed each other warily.

Thedra spoke again. “Please...put your knives away. We have no quarrel here.”

The men backed off. The dwarves sat down uneasily as the men moved away, the turned to look at Thedra. Thedra couldn't take it. She shot up out of her chair, and out of the tavern.

Dwalin found Thedra sitting on a bench behind the building. He sat down next to her, and waited.

Thedra gripped the wooden bench and stared into the woods. “I didn't realize how unsettling it might be for me to run into humans again.”

“I think they may have been more unsettled to see you with us, lass.”

Thedra sighed. “It may be dangerous for me to come here with you again, seeing as they thought you had kidnapped me. The next time they draw a blade, I may not be able to stop it.”

Dwalin patted her hand. “You have every right to go where you please.” Dwalin chuckled. “And don't forget, your companions are perfectly capable of defending themselves against three drunk men.”

Thedra smiled. “I know.” Her smile dropped, and she stood up. “But I can't help but fear that this could be the start of a larger problem. I know the prejudices between men and dwarves runs both ways. I don't want to inadvertently end up as a rallying cry in some race war, because some foolish knight thinks I am a maid to be rescued.”

Dwalin looked at Thedra thoughtfully. “Lass...is it possible that you regret not being with your own people?”

Thedra's head snapped around. “No! Not at all. I meant what I said to Thorin that day – _you_ are my people.”

*****

A great celebration was planned for Kili's thirtieth nameday. He was finally at the age to be considered a young adult, and with that came his ability to choose his first apprenticeship, as well as his chance to join his brother for full sparring in the fighting hall. It was to the latter occupation that Kili bent his steps first.

More spectators than normal had arrived in the fighting hall that day, eager to see the young royal heir fight in his first session. What they did not know about was all of the extra training Kili had been doing with Thedra over the last year. Thedra watched with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes as Kili slowly walked to the center of the ring to face Dwalin.

Dwalin nodded at the young dwarf, his face serious. “Half strength, half speed. Begin.”

The two dwarves ran through their paces, but Thedra could see Kili was itching for something more strenuous. After a few minutes of careful sparing, Dwalin called a draw, and the assembled crowd clapped politely. Before Dwalin could call another warrior to the ring, Thedra stepped out and tapped his arm. “Allow me.”

Dwalin looked at Thedra for a short moment, then nodded and retreated to the outskirts of the ring.

As Thedra and Kili began to circle each other, she pressed her grin flat, and saw the answering gleam of excitement shining in Kili's eyes. She paused, and called out. “Full strength, full speed. Begin!”

Kili wasted no time. He charged Thedra immediately, and with a flurry of swords, she dodged his first offense. The collective gasp that came from the crowd assured them both that the spectators had not been expecting that level of skill. The duelers broke apart, and started circling again. A moment later, Thedra went on the offensive. Kili met her sword well, but his shield dropped slightly.

“Shield up!” Thedra called. “Good. Again!”

Kili charged again, and Thedra swung out to his side. With a low sweep, she knocked his left leg out from under him and pulled back.

Kili was not deterred and climbed up quickly. Thedra nodded her approval. “Again!”

Kili tried a different approach, and caught Thedra off-guard. She barely managed to shield herself from his strike, and pulled back to regroup. As they circled yet again, she saw Kili drop his shield slightly, as before. Thedra lunged in for the attack. Kili saw her target, and raised his shield. At the last moment, Thedra spun around and knocked the sword from his unsuspecting hand. Kili reached down to retrieve his fallen sword. But when Thedra went in for the kill, his feint became obvious as he immediately changed his balance and charged directly at her with a roar. His shield slammed into her torso, knocking her flat on her back. In a moment, he held her own sword at her throat, with a mingled look of triumph and horror on his face.

For a moment, the hall was silent. Then, Thedra burst out laughing. “I yield, I yield!”

Kili smiled shakily as Thedra hauled herself to her feet. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”

Thedra hid a wince. “I think all my ribs are still in place.”

She then raised his hand in victory and yelled to the crowd. “I give you Kili – your victor!”

Kili and Thedra walked to the edge of the ring, arm in arm. “Though, you know...that wasn't a very...conventional...win. I wouldn't recommend trying that on an orc!” Kili grinned and laughed.

*****

Later that afternoon, everyone began preparing for the great feast. Many of the guards closest to the royal family had been given the night off, including Thedra. This would be the first time she would be attending such a party without being on duty. She realized her working clothes weren't appropriate for such a celebration – she needed a dress.

A few days earlier she had stopped by the dressmaker's shop, and spied a lovely dark blue velvet gown in the window. It was trimmed with silver and black ribbon, and had a neckline that dipped into a graceful 'v'. The dress was completed with slender darts of black lace that started just above the knee. The color of the dress went beautifully with her dark hair and fair skin, and of course was a nod to the king's colors. She had spent more on the dress than on anything else in her life – but as she was in her mid-twenties now, she thought she deserved to splurge on something nice for once.

She slipped on her new dress, and admired herself for a moment in the mirror. She had no jewelry of her own, but wanted to make sure her two braids hung freely around her neck. She pulled the rest of her hair this way and that, but in truth was at a loss on what to do with it.

A knock sounded at Thedra's door. When she opened it, a shy maid entered. “If you please, I've been sent here to see if you need any help preparing for the party.”

Thedra was surprised. Who could be sending her a maid? She smiled at the girl and walked back to her dressing table. “In truth, I was just thinking that I have no idea of what to do with my hair. I'd like to keep my two braids down, but I was thinking about putting the rest up.”

The maid stared at her for a moment. “I can put it up if you wish, miss...but don't you want to leave it down tonight?”

Thedra frowned. “Is there some significance to how I wear my hair?”

The maid nodded. “Oh, yes, miss. At a formal gathering, when a woman wears her hair up, it means she's on a path of solitude. It's her way of telling the men around her that she has no interest in marriage. When she wears her hair down, it gives the men the ability to braid her hair and begin to court her.”

Thedra's eyes widened. “Then, yes, by all means, put my hair up.”

The maid looked at Thedra confusedly for a moment, then nodded. “As you say, miss.”

It didn't take the maid long to sweep Thedra's dark brown hair up and into a neat twist. While she worked, Thedra thought about what the maid had told her...about courtship. She had tried so hard to put those sort of ideas out of her mind, and she had been shocked that the maid had even suggested that Thedra might be interested in attracting a husband. Even though she had generally been accepted into the population here, she had no doubt that most still felt there was a large difference between being friends with a human - and being married to one.

The maid finished and took her leave. As she was walking through the door, Thedra heard the sound of an unmistakable female voice from the hall.

“You need to start getting ready now, Kili. You've waited too long as it is.”

Thedra leaned out the door and saw Dis walking past her room. Thedra hesitated for a split second, then called out to her. “My lady. If I might have a moment, please?”

Dis looked momentarily wary at Thedra's invitation. The two women had never spoken since Dis had thrown her out of the mountain. When Thorin had reinstated Thedra's position, Dis had acquiesced without comment. She nodded finally and stepped into Thedra's chambers.

Thedra looked down uneasily, then back at Dis. “I...wanted to ask you for advice.”

Dis looked slightly startled. “Advice?”

Thedra paced to her dressing table. “A few moments ago, the maid who was helping me explained the dwarven customs associated with hairstyles for an event of this kind. I was...surprised, because she asked me if I wished to wear my hair down this evening.”

Dis' eyes roamed over Thedra's upturned hair. “I see.”

Thedra moved back towards Dis. “Of course, I told her no. I have no illusions that while I've mostly been accepted as a fighter and a friend to your people, that there would more than likely be a general outrage if I were to presume to marry into your community.”

Dis looked thoughtfully at Thedra. Thedra couldn't help but notice the similar look of concentration that Thorin often wore.

Finally, Dis spoke. “You are right that many here would find the idea of a mixed marriage...offensive.” Thedra nodded and turned back to the table.

Dis paused for moment. “However, I do not believe you need to make your decision based on their discomfort alone.”

Thedra turned around and stared wide-eyed at Dis. She continued:

“As you know, dwarven women are uncommon in general, and our community was thinned even further since our exile from Erebor. Very few of our men will ever find love or marry.” Dis sighed. “Though there is no possibility for you to give one of our men a family, you could give him love. We have so little of it to offer ourselves.”

Thedra was stunned. After all, she knew of Dis' staunch opinions on outsiders and had been sure she would have supported Thedra's initial decision. She collected herself and bowed to her respectfully, and Dis exited without another word.

Thedra followed her out shortly after, and managed to catch the maid who had done her hair as she was leaving another room.

“I've changed my mind about my hair.”


	15. In The Pale Moonlight

The great hall was filled to capacity. Thedra stood outside the doorway, surprised at the flutter of nervousness she suddenly felt. She smoothed her palms over her dress, realizing that she had never dressed particularly feminine before. She wasn't quite sure how she would be accepted in her new clothing.

Thedra stepped in, and scanned the crowd. She spotted Balin and Dwalin with a group of companions nearby, and made her way towards them. She gave them a smile as they saw her approach, but was met with shocked stares. Her smile faltered as she reached the table.

“Is...is everything ok?” she asked.

Balin was the first to gather himself. He cleared his throat. “Forgive us, my dear. It's not often we're blessed to behold so much beauty.”

Thedra blushed profusely. “I, ah – thank you,” she managed quietly.

Balin passed her a mug of ale. “Join us!”

Thedra smiled, sat down, and took a refreshing gulp.

*****

On the dais, Thorin eyed his younger nephew with a touch of pride. Kili had performed well in the fighting hall this afternoon, and was now thoroughly enjoying his nameday with a close group of friends. Thorin had no doubt that Kili would grow up to be a fine dwarf.

Thorin turned his attention from Kili and scanned the crowd below. When his eyes reached Dwalin's table, his mouth dropped slightly.

If it hadn't been for her lack of a beard, Thorin would have hardly recognized Thedra. Her deep blue dress hugged her form perfectly, and her skin seemed to glow in comparison to the rich color of the fabric. Her dark brown hair was flowing in long, loose spirals down her back. With a jolt, Thorin suddenly wondered if Thedra had any idea of the significance of her hairstyle.

Thorin studied Thedra for quite awhile. He had purposefully minimized their contact since her return, however he often found her not far from his mind. He grudgingly admitted to himself that he visited the fighting hall much more often when he knew she would be sparing. His embarrassment over her exile was gradually soothed as he watched her strength and health return to her over the last few months. 

The sight of Thedra in a dress with her hair flowing brought a sudden rush of many of the feelings he had harbored for her before she was unmasked. Thorin gripped the sidearm of his chair, unnerved by the sudden reappearance of these unwanted emotions.

*****

It was all Dwalin could do to sit quietly and try to keep his mug from spilling in his shaking hands. When he had sent the maid to Thedra's room earlier that day, he little imagined what kind of goddess would end up sitting before him now.

A few minutes later, the music changed, and Kili raced towards their table. “Thedra? Would you do me the honor?” The young dwarf flashed her a charming smile.

Thedra headed towards the dance floor with Kili, and Dwalin let out a shaky sigh. He downed the remainder of his ale, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Balin touched his brother's arm. “Is something troubling you, Dwalin?”

Dwalin stood up. “Nothing another tankard of ale can't cure.”

*****

As Kili spun Thedra around on the dance floor, she laughed heartily. She had never had so much fun in all her life. The music ended, and everyone cheered and clapped. The musicians started up again, and Thedra heard a low voice behind her.

“May I have the next dance?” Thorin asked.

Thedra's eyes sparkled. “Of course, your majesty.” Thorin held out his arms, and Thedra placed her hands on his forearms. Her skin tingled the moment they touched. The music soared, and Thedra's heart went with it. Her eyes were locked with Thorin's as he led her around the dance floor for one, two, three dances. Out of breath, she finally stopped and moved to get a fresh drink with the king.

Thedra took a sip and looked out happily over the crowd. Thorin gazed at Thedra momentarily before speaking. “You look beautiful tonight.”

Thedra smiled and turned back to Thorin. “Thank you, my king.”

Thorin offered his arm to her. “Would you accompany me?”

Thedra nodded and took his arm. He felt so warm and strong next to her. They walked quietly together towards the balcony. It seemed it had been a lifetime since they last stood here together. The couple looked out over the forest below, bathed in starlight. Thorin turned his head slightly; Thedra, if possible, seemed even more beautiful in the soft silver glow of the night.

Thedra met Thorin's gaze. “I've missed you,” she ventured softly.

He closed his eyes briefly. “As have I.”

Thedra moved her arm down his and took his hand. “I've tried to keep my distance, to give you the time and space you need to come to terms with my...secret.”

Thorin smiled ever so slightly. “It was not easy for me to accept, but I've realized over the last few weeks that our friendship means more to me than my discomfort over your...past.” He paused. “Can you forgive me? Can we begin again?”

Thedra's eyes filled with tears. “That's all I ever wanted, my king.” She gazed at him for a moment, then slowly moved closer. Thorin stood very still as she wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her cheek against his chest. He slowly raised his own arms up, and embraced her gently. Eventually – and reluctantly - Thedra pulled away. Wiping a tear aside, she accepted his arm again, and went back in to the party.

*****

The evening was winding down, and Thedra had never felt so content. Her mind was still filled by what had passed between her and Thorin. While she had been made comfortable in every other way after her exile had ended, she had always been pained by Thorin's distance. But now, that distance was finally over.

She made her way back to the table. Only Dwalin remained, but he stood up as she approached. She hadn't had a chance to talk to him all night.

“Oh, lass, I was about ready to leave.” He couldn't quite meet her eye, but she didn't notice.

“Oh? I'm tired of dancing, but not quite ready to retire tonight. Would you care to take a stroll outside with me?” She looked at Dwalin expectantly.

Dwalin bowed slightly. “As you wish.”

Thedra smiled to herself as she and Dwalin made their way down the front steps of the mountain. Instead of heading towards the market, Thedra pulled Dwalin towards the rocky field on the western slope of the mountain. They followed a small path through the boulders, then finally sat down on a tall outcropping overlooking the forest and river below.

Thedra had been hoping for some sort of opportunity like this tonight. A few weeks ago on patrol in this area she had found a smooth, translucent stone unlike any other she had seen in the area. She had borrowed a few tools, and painstakingly drilled a small hole in the center of the smooth rock.

Thedra had never had a proper opportunity to tell Dwalin how much his acceptance and defense had meant to her. She had tried to talk with him about it a few weeks ago after their sparing session, but he had merely flushed and waved her away. It occurred to her that perhaps she needed to make her appreciation more formal.

Dwalin and Thedra sat silently for a moment, and Thedra surreptitiously fiddled with the bead and short length of leather in her pocket.

“It was a good night,” Thedra remarked.

“Yes...yes it was.” Dwalin eyed her for a moment. “I don't believe I've ever seen you so relaxed.”

Thedra grinned widely. “A lot happened tonight. A lot of things...were fixed.”

Dwalin raised an eyebrow. “Fixed, eh?”

“I don't think it's much of a secret that my friendship with Thorin was never fully repaired after what happened last year. It really tore at me.” She looked out over the forest. “But tonight, finally...tonight I think we've put it behind us. I feel like such a great weight has been lifted from me.”

Dwalin smiled, gratified to hear his friends were now no longer at odds. “I'm glad to hear it, lass.”

Thedra turned slightly so that she was facing Dwalin's right side. “There's something else I wanted to share with you tonight.”

“Yes?”

Thedra reached into her pocket and pulled out the leather cord and stone. Slowly, she reached out and divided away a small section of Dwalin's hair next to his right temple – the same side that Thorin had done her braids. Thedra had learned awhile ago that braids done on a dwarf's right side were for bonds of deep friendship and family. Braids on the left side – especially in the beard – were for connections that were far more intimate.

Dwalin stilled completely as Thedra meticulously braided his hair. When she reached the end, she tied it off with the stone and bit of leather. As she lowered her hands, Dwalin stood up. Without another word, they slowly moved back towards the mountain, arm in arm.


	16. Bloodied

Thedra was back in the fighting hall again...but this time, her opponent was none other than Thorin.

Thorin moved steadily, with purpose, but Thedra could swear there was a glint of humor in his eyes. He had already side-stepped her first two assaults, and his calm demeanor was maddening. She knew he was trying to goad her into lashing out in anger - and the worst part was that it was on the verge of working. 

Thedra circled Thorin slowly, thinking about everything she had learned about his fighting style. Unbidden, the image of him with his under tunic stuck to his torso rose to her mind. She smiled faintly, and held up her hand to Thorin. “A moment, my king, if you please?”

She headed to the edge of the fighting ring, and removed her armor. Underneath she wore a padded corset that protected her skin from the metal of of her armor – but also pushed her breasts up in a very flattering way. 

She returned to the middle of the arena, and Thorin's eyes narrowed. She fought down a smirk and remarked offhandedly:

“It is a bit hot in here, isn't it?”

Thorin nodded and began to move again, and Thedra saw to her delight that Thorin's eyes kept flitting to the top of her corset. He was clearly distracted.

Thedra lunged at Thorin unexpectedly, and he was barely able to drive off her offense. He pulled back, and gave himself a mental shake. _I've got to pull myself together._

Thedra barely gave Thorin time to recoup before she was on him again. Thorin's anger snapped, and he roared in anger, and sent his shield forcefully into Thedra.

Thedra's head snapped back, and she tasted blood as Thorin's shield collided with her jaw. The next moment she was on the ground, and she struggled to take a breath. She gasped, finally, and winced at the dull pain she felt in her ribs.

She heard a step beside her, and the next moment Dwalin was helping her to her feet. “Are you alright, lass?” he asked quietly.

A thin drop of blood fell from her lip to her breast, and she wiped it away with her hand. “I think so. Don't worry about me.” She looked over at Thorin. “Well played, my king.”

Thorin's brow was furrowed, but he bowed shortly at Thedra. His eyes then locked with Dwalin's, and they shared a long, meaningful stare before Thorin turned and stalked away.

Thorin strode back to his quarters as fast as he could while still maintaining some semblance of composure. Thorin's only bit of consolation is that he didn't wound her nearly as badly as Dwalin had that one afternoon. But that was a very small consolation, indeed. He couldn't believe he had allowed himself to lose control like that. It had been years and years since he had allowed anyone to provoke him to that point in the training hall.

And what provocation was it, really? She had merely taken off her armor, and he had done the rest. He could have sworn that he saw a mirthful glimmer in her eyes – surely she had known what she was doing by displaying herself in such a matter, didn't she? But what if it was all in his head – what if she had simply been too warm, as she had said?

The image of Thedra in only her corset ran through Thorin's mind, and he couldn't deny that his blood was still up from fighting. His manhood was straining against his trousers, and his hand drifted towards his laces. Thus far, he had restrained himself from indulging in his fantasies, but he was so bothered – in more ways than one – by the events of the afternoon, that he couldn't see how he could ignore his needs anymore.

He had just pulled himself free when there was a sharp knock at his door. Cursing, he hastily tucked himself away and then wrenched the door open. It was Dwalin.

Dwalin had waited a few minutes before following Thorin to his chamber. He was concerned by Thorin's apparent loss of control, and couldn't fathom what had happened. He was irked, as well, that Thorin's manifestation of anger had been directed at Thedra in the process.

“Your majesty.” Dwalin's tone and use of Thorin's title indicated the seriousness of his visit.

“Come in.” Thorin turned around and walked to his dressing table, and began to wash his arms off in the cool water in his wash basin.

Dwalin was never one for pretense. “What happened in there?”

Thorin wiped his arms dry before turning to face his friend. “I have to admit...certain stresses have been trying my temper lately.”

Dwalin didn't seem to have a reply to that, and Thorin was determined not to give his friend any hint of his own attraction towards Thedra.

“You're upset that I may have hurt Thedra this afternoon, is that it?”

Dwalin's face darkened. “You _did_ hurt Thedra this afternoon.”

“That is to occasionally be expected in the fighting hall. We do not become warriors without being bloodied from time to time.”

Dwalin sent his hand smashing down on Thorin's dressing table. “Damn it, Thorin, we're not talking about standard training accidents. You lost control and were trying to hurt her!”

At Dwalin's accusation, Thorin drew back, appalled. “I would never purposely hurt her.”

Dwalin looked away, trying to control his temper. He didn't really believe Thorin had intended to injure her, but he was having a hard time controlling the growing feelings of protectiveness towards Thedra.

Fortunately, Thorin seemed to understand the turmoil his friend was in. “You've grown to care for her deeply, haven't you?” he asked quietly.

Dwalin strode to Thorin's chair and sat down harshly. “It's becoming harder and harder to see her hurt in the training hall, or even to send her out on the more outlying patrols around the mountains. I don't know what to do, Thorin.” He lowered his head into his hands.

Thorin shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to assure and advise his friend as loyally as possible, but found it difficult to find the words considering his own feelings for the same woman.

“Have you made any...overtures...towards her?”

Dwalin smiled ruefully. “I have...or perhaps I haven't. If Thedra was truly a dwarf, my intentions would be more than clear to her. But I gather that she may not have been fully...educated...in our customs, and sees my actions in a more human light.”

“Are you afraid of making your intentions more clear?”

The warrior nodded. “I fear ruining the friendship if I am wrong.”

Thorin made a small noise of agreement. “I understand.”

Dwalin stood up slowly, unable to quite look Thorin in the eye. “Forgive my outburst, my friend. I did not mean to involve you in my own emotional turmoil.”

Thorin clapped Dwalin on the shoulder. “Think nothing of it.”

*****

Thedra was hanging up her armor in her room when she heard a knock at the door. It was Dwalin.

“I just wanted to check in on you.”

Thedra smiled and motioned him in. “Thank you. But I am fine. No lost teeth, no broken bones...” she stretched her shoulders, but winced again. “...at least, I think I don't have any broken bones.”

Dwalin looked at her intently. “Thorin was much too hard with you.”

Thedra's eyes sparkled mischievously. “I don't know, I can think of a time or two that I dealt with worse.”

The color drained out of Dwalin's face. “Lass, I...”

Thedra burst out laughing, then reached out and hugged Dwalin tightly. She winced in pain, and pulled back immediately. “Oof, that hurt – Oh, Dwalin, I'm just teasing you!”

Dwalin smiled shakily. “You're sure you're not too badly injured, then?”

“Yes.” She stopped suddenly, remembering how Dwalin had responded when he had wounded her. “Wait...is Thorin alright? He's not upset that he delivered such a hard hit, is he?”

Dwalin was caught off-guard by her sudden concern for Thorin. “No,” he replied. “He seemed to think this was nothing more than the usual sort of training accident.” He realized his words came out much harsher than he intended.

Thedra raised an eyebrow at her friend. “I took it the same way.” She paused for a moment, then took a small step towards Dwalin. “But I take it you did not?”

Dwalin turned away. “I saw something in Thorin today that worried me...especially, since it was directed at you.”

She frowned. “What did you see?”

“Anger.” He paced around the room, trying to form his fears into words. “He tells me it's the stress of his duties, which is understandable. But I'm quite...distressed that you were the recipient.”

Thedra thought about how she had purposefully distracted him, and her frown deepened. _Is it possible that he realized what I was doing, and that anger was directed at me?_ “Do you think I've done something to displease the king?” she asked Dwalin.

Dwalin turned to face her. “No, of course not. I'm simply worried that he seems to be lashing out without purpose...and that you'll unwittingly be a target again.”

His answer calmed her nerves slightly. “I'm not so sure that's something to be worried about. If Thorin is under pressure, then it's only natural that it may come out during a sparing session. Isn't it more likely that he simply let off some – perhaps, too much – steam today? And that it was just circumstance that led me to be the recipient, as I happened to be the one sparring with him?”

Dwalin nodded, acceding Thedra's point. “Aye, lass, but that still doesn't mean I'm not worried about what may happen next time you train with him.” He looked at her straight in the eye. “Will you promise me you won't partner him for the time being?”

“What?” Thedra drew herself up, her eyes flashing with anger. “Are you saying you doubt my abilities to defend myself – against my friend – in a training session?”

“In normal circumstances, not at all,” Dwalin replied quickly. “But lass, you are, well, a lady, and humans are not so robust as dwarves-”

“You do doubt my abilities.” Thedra's voice cut him off, dripping with disgust. “If that's how you really feel, perhaps you should reassign me to a lesser post, more appropriate to my weaknesses.” With that, she strode to her door and opened it, indicating he should leave.

Dwalin stood in shock, at a loss on how he had managed to turn their conversation into such a disaster. “Lass, forgive me, I only meant I was concerned-”

She interrupted coolly. “Good day, my lord.”

Dwalin closed his eyes sadly, and exited.


	17. By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance.

After Dwalin had left, Thedra paced furiously in her quarters. She couldn't believe what he had asked of her.

There was a knock on her door, and Thedra spun around. “What?” she barked.

The door opened, revealing a wary Thorin.

Thedra let out a stilted sigh, and tried to reign in her anger. “Forgive me, your majesty. How can I be of service?”

Thorin entered the room and closed the door behind him quietly. He studied Thedra for a moment. “Are you well?”

Thedra resumed her angry pacing. “Yes, yes, yes...why is everyone making such a fuss over a split lip?”

Thorin raised an eyebrow. “Is everyone making a fuss?”

Thedra snorted. “Dwalin just left.” She spun around and accosted Thorin. “Do you know what he just did? He just asked me to promise him not to train with you. As if I couldn't defend myself during a damned sparring session!”

“I see.”

Thedra was exasperated. “Is that really how little he thinks of me? If he doesn't think I can even take care of myself in the training hall, then what must he think of my abilities in a true fight?” She shook her head. “He wasn't even here when the orcs attacked the market last year – I defended our people with an injured arm and a smithy's hammer. Does that not mean anything?”

Thorin held up his hand. “Thedra, I don't think this has anything to do with your abilities.”

She looked at him expectantly. He continued:

“Dwalin...cares about you very much. To the point that he may be...a little over protective.”

“I know!” Thedra let out a slow breath. “I know,” she repeated softly. She sat down on the edge of her bed. She rubbed her temples in frustration. “I know Dwalin means well. He's my closest companion...and in a way, I think our relationship extends beyond just that of friends...”

Thorin froze at Thedra's words. _She returns his feelings?_

Thedra continued. “Dwalin's more than a friend. He's more like...like family.” She stood up abruptly. “But right now he's acting more like an overbearing uncle than a fun big brother!”

 _Ah, my poor friend,_ Thorin thought of Dwalin. The warrior would be dismayed to learn that Thedra's feelings towards him were more familial than romantic.

“What do I do, Thorin?” Thedra asked, bringing him out of his reverie.

Thorin looked thoughtful. “Dwalin is as stubborn as any dwarf, but he's fair. Talk to him. Make your case, and he'll back down.”

Thedra looked uncomfortable. “I was already rather...firm with him. In fact, I told him if he thought so little of my skills, that he should reassign me.”

“Don't you think you should have talked to your king, first, before suggesting that you leave his guard?” Thorin asked, the glint of humor obvious in his eye.

Thedra offered him a wry smile. “Forgive me, my king.” She dropped her smile and looked at him in all seriousness. “Do you doubt my abilities?”

“Of course not. You've proven your skill and your courage many times. I'm proud to have you by my side.”

Thedra smiled warmly. “I'm glad to hear it.”

*****

The horn from the main gate sounded, and Thedra was one of the many guards standing at the top of the stairs to the mountain to get a good view of their visitors. There was an overall silence as the party of men made their way through the market and to the foot of the staircase. Thedra kept one pace behind and to the left of Thorin as he made his way down the steps to greet his guests. In spite of Thedra's challenge to Dwalin to have her removed from the Kingsguard, her position had not changed.

Thedra eyed the men leading the party as she got closer. Four of the men were on horseback, and the one in the middle was adorned with expensive armor and a broad gold chain. He dismounted and approached Thorin with a warm smile. “Greetings, Thorin Oakenshield – King of the Blue Mountains! Long may you reign!”

Thorin nodded his head imperiously. “Welcome, sir. To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?”

“I am Tobias Dermond, Lord of the Green Crossing, a small holdfast in the shadow of the Hills of Evendim. I believe you may be familiar with the new trading post that has been established on the road below, not far from here. I am here to negotiate formal trading agreements with you and your people, if that is acceptable to you?”

Thorin nodded thoughtfully. “Of course. Please, follow me into the great hall.”

The other men dismounted, and a small party followed Thorin into the hall, while the remaining men gathered their horses and belongings. Thedra remained as Thorin's shadow, which put her roughly in step with Lord Dermond. She had noticed that Dermond had done a double take when he caught sight of her, but had recovered quickly and gave no impression that anything had disturbed him.

The trade negotiations proceeded at a brisk pace, and both parties had come to an agreement by nightfall. Thorin, the ever gracious host, had of course invited the men to stay for supper. 

Thedra rotated off duty, and joined some of her fellow guards at a table near the front of the hall. She spotted an empty seat next to Dwalin. _Well, now is as good a time as any._

She plopped down on the seat and looked at Dwalin. He eyed her warily for a moment, then dropped his spoon with a sigh. “Aye, lass?”

Thedra had been thoroughly prepared to issue a few more choice words following their argument the other afternoon, but once she saw how despondent he appeared, her heart softened. _Ah, hell...he was just trying to look after me, like the good friend that he is._

She smiled at him ruefully and threw her arm around his shoulders. “The next time you try to shield me from a fight will be the next time you find yourself in one...against me.”

Dwalin relaxed somewhat, and offered her a half-smile in return. “You're starting to pick up some of Thorin's temper, lass.”

She grabbed an empty tankard from the table. “And I'm starting to pick up your love for this swill, as well. Care for another glass?”

Dwalin laughed and stood up. “Aye, let's get our fill.” He led Thedra to the kegs and filled their mugs. “Cheers, lass.” They clanked their tankards, and drank deeply.

“I'm sorry I got so angry the other day. I know now that you're just concerned for my well-being.” She took another sip.

“Aye,” he agreed quietly.

Thedra sat down her mug and sighed. “No matter how hard I try to be one with your people, I'm still reminded daily that I'm an outsider. I just never thought that reminder would come from you.”

Dwalin closed his eyes briefly, then took her hand in his own. “To tell you the truth, lass...you're being a lady and a human...they were just excuses.” He paused, and met her eyes. “I care about you a great deal...I just have a lousy way of telling you.”

She squeezed his hand in response. “I understand.”

Dwalin pulled his hand back when he noticed that Lord Dermond was heading towards the kegs. He and Thedra nodded politely at the man. Dermond nodded in returned, then filled his tankard. When he finished, he turned towards Thedra and raised his mug.

“My lady.”

Thedra returned his salute, and eyed him as they both drank. Dermond was tall, sandy-haired and blue-eyed. Though the lines around the corners of his eyes gave away his age, he had a strong, smooth face. It was still strange to her to see someone so much taller – and without a beard.

“You are one of the King's guards, I believe?”

Thedra nodded. “I am.”

Dermond smiled congenially. “I can't imagine how a human woman could find herself in the Kingsguard in a dwarven kingdom. That must be a fascinating story.”

Thedra smiled slightly in return. “Not so fascinating, really. I was a child when Dale and Erebor were destroyed, and I chose to leave those ruins and follow the Line of Durin.”

“You had no wish to remain with your own people?” Dermond reached out to retrieve Thedra's mug and then refilled it.

“Not at all. My family was dead, and the few survivors left would not have helped me.” Thedra accepted her mug bag with a small nod of thanks. “I owe my survival to this community.” 

Dermond motioned to a nearby table. “Will you join me, my lady?”

Thedra took a seat with him. “My name is Thedra, my lord...I am no lady.”

“As you wish, Thedra.” Dermond sat his mug down on the table and folded his hands before him. “I have to say, I am surprised to hear the dwarves accepted you so completely into their community. In all my previous interactions with their people, I found them to be...wary...of outsiders.”

Thedra lifted an eyebrow, a half-smile lighting her face. “They didn't accept me straight-away...to be honest, I hid my face for the first years I traveled with them. When my race was reveled, I was almost totally exiled. Fortunately, my closest friends stood by me, and in time my character & loyalty outstripped my physiology.”

“Sounds like an interesting story after all.”

Thedra laughed. “Perhaps it was, but I'm more interested in living for the future than rehashing the past.”

Dermond raised his tankard, and Thedra met it with hers.

*****

As spring blossomed into summer, the citizens of the Blue Mountains thrived. The mountain mines were operating at full capacity, and the trade with the towns in the area had increased three-fold. As word of the success of the Blue Mountains spread out across the lands, Dain sent word to Thorin that he would like to make the trip to visit his cousins in person.

The feast that was thrown in Dain's honor outstripped the feast the year prior in every sense. Thedra stood in the great hall behind the king as he rose to make the first toast of the night. Her armor reflected the gleaming candles and cheery faces, and her long blue cloak framed her lithe figure. Thedra wistfully watched the dancing and drinking dwarves below, but was glad she could allow her fellow warriors the night off by taking the watch herself. Dwalin had also volunteered for duty that night, and stood guard at the entrance of the great hall.

The night passed merrily, and as the event finally came to it's conclusion, Thedra and Dwalin made their final round of the mountain castle and surrounding grounds.

Once they were sure the perimeters were secure, Thedra and Dwalin made their way to the same rocky outcropping where Thedra had braided his hair. Thedra sat towards the edge, her long hair moving softly over her armor in the breeze.

Dwalin sat to her left, and the stone she had placed in his hair reflected the glow of the moon.

“I believe Dain has been enjoying his visit,” Thedra commented.

Dwalin nodded in agreement. “We've accomplished much in such a short amount of time. I believe Thorin was pleased to display our success as well.”

“It has been a good spring. I think many in the community are breathing a sigh of relief knowing our hardest days are behind us.”

“Aye, lass. Many in our midst are turning their thoughts towards the future, now that our livelihood is secure.”

Thedra smiled at the idea of young dwarflings running in this very field, never to be subjected to the kind of wandering hardships the last generation had been born into. “It sounds like a happy future, indeed.”

Dwalin hesitated, then asked in a low voice. “What kind of future do you imagine for yourself?”

Thedra raised an eyebrow. “To be honest, I hadn't given it much thought. I suppose I see myself serving in the guard, and enjoying my time with my friends.”

“Your friends are very important to you.”

Thedra laughed. “Of course! They are the closest thing I have to family.” She looked at Dwalin with a broad smile. “Though no one is closer to me than you. I know I've said this before, but I am still so thankful for everything you've done for me. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you.”

Dwalin usually retreated from such emotional talk, but with Thedra gazing at him so warmly, he felt a glimmer of hope in his breast. He decided this night was the time to respond in kind.

“I've often thought about you as well. I cannot imagine walking this world without you. I know that I forever want you by my side.”

And with that, Dwalin reached out and gently pulled away a section of her hair. A section of her hair on the _left_ side.

Thedra stood up quickly, alarmed. “Dwalin...Dwalin, I...” She was at a loss for words. _He couldn't possibly mean to court me._

Dwalin closed his eyes. _I was wrong._

Thedra immediately recovered herself sat back down again and placed her hands on Dwalin's arms. After all they had been through before, she knew not to let him part with her before resolving such a situation.

Dwalin tried to pull away, but Thedra was insistent. She held on to his hands and peered up into his face. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers.

“How long have you felt this way?” she asked.

“Long enough,” he replied quietly.

Thedra looked down at their joined hands, her anxiety mounting. “I know when...what I mean is...” She struggled for the words. “I know that a dwarf dedicates himself only once in a lifetime. But, you haven't let it get that far yet...”she trailed off, his silence seeming to confirm her worst fear.

Dwalin stared balefully into Thedra's eyes. She pulled back, stunned.

“Oh, no...oh, Dwalin, please...no...” she whispered, horrified.

Dwalin looked away.

Thedra's eyes filled with tears. “Dwalin...I had no idea.” Her tears spilled over and flowed freely. “I...forgive me, I didn't know...”

Dwalin absently stroked Thedra's hands. “Lass, it's done now,” he said quietly.

She shook her head. “How have I been so blind? If I had realized what was happening, I would have never-”

“It would have still happened, regardless.” Dwalin squeezed her hands. “It's our lot in life. Very few of us attempt to find a mate, and of those who do, many are rejected still.” He looked up at the stars, then back at Thedra. “You have done no wrong. It was my choice – and my choice alone – to love you.”

At Dwalin's words, Thedra lowered her head into her hands. Despite of his claims to the contrary, she couldn't help but feel she was still responsible for what had transpired. In retrospect, she was a fool for wearing her hair down at Kili's nameday celebration. The truth was, the only dwarf she had ever had any romantic inclination towards was the one she was sure she could never have. Thorin's duty to his people would never allow him to pledge himself to a non-dwarf. By announcing her intention to be courted, she was not only chasing after an unattainable fantasy, but she had also inadvertently ruined the future of her closest friend.

Dwalin's heart ached for the obvious turmoil he had caused Thedra. He had hoped that she would return his feelings, and he never wanted her to suffer on his behalf. His love for her was a gentle love, and he would give it to her freely. He pulled her into his arms, and she pressed her face to his beard, her tears coursing down her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and held his head close to hers. After a few minutes, her tears subsided, but still she clung to him. 

When she finally pulled back slightly, she looked into his eyes. “Now that we both know each others feelings and there can be no more misunderstanding – will you let me show you how much you mean to me, in my own way?”

Dwalin nodded once. With her hands still tangled in his hair, she held his head close and lifted her lips to his cheek. She pressed the gentlest kisses along his jaw line, just above where his beard began. When she had finished, she buried her face into his hair, and sat with Dwalin for a long time, slowly running her fingers through his beard.


	18. Predictions

Thedra slowly made her way back to her quarters, alone. She and Dwalin had parted before returning to the mountain. As she turned the final corner towards the guard wing, she came face to face with Thorin.

When Thorin saw her red-rimmed eyes, he stopped and gazed down at her with concern. “Thedra – what in Mahal's name has happened?”

Thedra quickly looked away, afraid that her tears would return. “I...I don't know how to explain...”

Thorin took her arm gently, and led her back towards his study. When they both had sat down, he waited for her to compose herself.

She took in a deep breath. “I...forgive me, but I don't even know if this is appropriate for me to talk about. But at the same time, I have no idea how to deal with this on my own.” Her voice cracked, and her eyes filled again with tears.

Thorin took her hand into his own. “You have my complete confidence, I assure you.”

Thedra nodded, and lowered her head, not sure where to begin. “Tonight, Dwalin...he-” She couldn't continue.

Thorin's eyes narrowed. _What has transpired here?_ “Did Dwalin do something to hurt you?” he asked quietly.

Thedra's head shot up. “No! No...but I've hurt him. Oh, Thorin, I've hurt him so terribly.” She lowered her head again, unable to stop the tears this time.

Thorin waited silently while she regained control of herself. She took a deep breath. “Dwalin's feelings for me...” She still couldn't bring herself to say it.

“Dwalin wishes to court you.”

Thedra looked up at Thorin, surprised. “You knew?”

“I suspected.” Thorin left his chair and knelt by Thedra's side. “I take it his advances are...unwelcome?”

Thedra nodded. “Dwalin is my best friend, and he means more to me than my own life. But I never thought of him...in that way.”

Thorin felt a pang of sadness for the sake of Dwalin, but at the same time his heart lept to hear that Thedra didn't return his interest. He pushed away his own feelings for the time being, focusing on Thedra's misery instead. He stroked her fingers gently, then spoke.

“You must not reproach yourself. With so few women in our midst, it's natural that you may receive many offers for your affection. As long as you are honest with yourself and those around you, you have nothing to regret.”

Thedra wanted desperately to believe him. She nodded weakly. She thought briefly about telling Thorin that Dwalin's feelings had gone beyond a simple attempt at initiating a courtship, but decided against it. That was too private of a matter to share, even with him.

*****

When Thedra left his study to return to her chambers, Thorin let out a low sigh and leaned back in his chair. So, it had come to a pitch between her and Dwalin, and she had rejected him.

No matter how hard Thorin tried, warm thoughts towards Thedra still plagued both his dreams and his waking thoughts. He had managed thus far to keep his emotions at bay; logically, he knew that a relationship between them was absolutely out of the question. Even though he had sanctioned her all the rights accorded to his own kind, he had no doubt that his kingdom would fall to pieces if he were to dare take Thedra as his queen.

But Thorin realized his logistical concerns hadn't been the only thing that had allowed him to keep Thedra at arm's length. As jealous as he had been of Dwalin's growing friendliness with Thedra, the truth was he honored his friendship with the warrior too much to step in between them. But now that Thedra had confirmed that nothing would come of Dwalin's overtures, Thorin acknowledged he now had one less reason to hold him back from pursuing her.

Part of him was still shocked at himself – he never before would have believed he could have developed such feelings for an outsider. 

For the first time, Thorin seriously considered the ramifications of courting Thedra. His family and his people would be outraged, there was no question. Even naming his nephews as his heirs wouldn't stop the general populace from expecting him to marry someone able to bear his children.

But the truth was, he had never met another female that had remotely interested him. Even his brief encounter with Elaria had only served to distract him for a few hours. If he choose a life of solitude, the result to his people would still be the same: no direct heir. So would it really be so bad for him to marry Thedra, for love?

_Love. It hasn't gotten that far yet, thank Mahal._ Thorin also knew that all of his musings were pointless unless Thedra returned his interest. While Thorin had the impression that she found him attractive, there was no proof that she desired a deeper relationship with him. She was a bit more familiar with him than anyone else, but that could easily be due to her human nature. He rubbed his wrist absently, thinking about the kiss she had placed there here in this very room.

*****

Thedra returned to her quarters quietly. Emotionally weary, she was still glad she had spoken to someone about what had happened between her and Dwalin. The idea that he was in love with her still made her head spin.

One thing she was sure of, however, is that she would not let this development alter their friendship. He meant too much to her to lose him.

She laid back on her bed, not bothering to take off her armor. She craved sleep, but thought about what Thorin had told her. That she should expect many offers for her hand. While in some ways it gratified her that her adoptive people would embrace her so, the idea that she might have other colleagues fall for her terrified her.

_But what about Thorin?_ He had spoken to her so gently, looked at her so warmly. _Is it possible that he may ever feel that way about me as well?_

Thedra knew she shouldn't indulge in such thoughts. She was only setting herself up for heartbreak. But the more time she spent with Thorin, the deeper her feelings grew.

She threw her arm over her eyes, and fell into a fretful sleep.

*****

The group of dwarves reigned in their ponies outside of the tavern at the trading post below the mountains. Thedra hadn't been keen on returning to the town after her encounter the first time, but Dwalin had encouraged her to join them. Since Thedra was determined to keep her and Dwalin's friendship from dissolving, she decided to accompany him and the party after all.

The tavern was more lively this time, and men were crammed at the bar and the tables surrounding it. The dwarves made their way to a mostly empty round table near the back wall. Only two men were sitting, and one got up as the group sat down. The other man wore a full hood, and stayed silent, occasionally sipping on his ale. His face remained in shadow, and he proceeded to ignore the group that joined him.

The dwarves followed suit, and Balin and Dwalin made their way to the bar to grab drinks for their companions. Thedra sat back and eyed the customers in the room; none of them appeared to offer the kind of mistrust that faced them on their previous visit. It seemed after the last two months of steady trade following Lord Dermond's visit, the traders of the town had accepted the community of dwarves from the Blue Mountains.

Thedra turned her head slightly so she could surreptitiously study the hooded man sitting with them. Though she couldn't see his face, she got the feeling he was staring at her as well. There was something vaguely familiar about him – she could have sworn she recognized the ring adorning his right hand, but couldn't place it.

The bar was so busy that Balin and Dwalin still hadn't made it back to the table, so the other two guards got up and headed over to try to get their own drinks, leaving Thedra alone with the stranger. She turned to him and addressed him in the Common Tongue. “Well met, friend.”

The man let out a small chuckle. “Well met, my lady.”

His voice was definitely familiar. “Do I know you, sir?”

He lifted up his hand and slowly pulled back his hood. It was Lord Dermond. “I hope you haven't forgotten me that easily, Thedra.”

Thedra lifted her eyebrow in surprise. “My lord. I admit, I wasn't expecting to find you here in a lowly tavern.”

Dermond replaced his hood. “I occasionally make my way here – secretly, of course – so that I can glean the current mood of the traders. I find it helpful to have that kind of insight into both my own traders as well as with the ones I'm hoping to make future arrangements.”

Thedra nodded slightly. “I can understand.”

Dermond continued. “I also find it a good practice to understand the personal lives of the traders as well. If I know their moods, their concerns...I can better predict their reactions in certain situations.”

“I see.” Thedra glanced at the bar – it didn't look like the dwarves had made much progress with their drinks.

Dermond sat silently for a moment before taking another sip of ale. Thedra felt like he was studying her again. Finally, he spoke. “Though in some cases, I have difficulty in my predictions. For instance...I'm unsure how you will react.”

Thedra's eyes narrowed. “React to what?”

“To when I tell you that your uncle arrived at the Green Crossing two weeks ago.”


	19. Family

Dwalin had noticed Thedra's subdued behavior by the time they left the tavern. As they slowly road their ponies back up the mountain, he pulled up beside her. “Are you well, lass?”

Thedra gave him a weak half-smile. “No, not really.” She looked around her to make sure they were out of earshot of the rest of the group. “That man sitting at our table was Lord Dermond. He had a message for me.”

Dwalin listened with growing concern as Thedra recounted everything Dermond had told her. According to the Lord of the Green Crossing, Thedra's uncle – who she had not seen since well before Smaug's destruction of Dale – had arrived in Dermond's jurisdiction recently, having heard a rumor that a young girl had left Dale with the dwarves of Erebor. Dermond claimed that this uncle wanted Thedra to join him and his family, and return to Lake-town.

Thedra had rejected the idea of leaving the Blue Mountains outright. She vaguely remembered her uncle; the last time she had seen him was about a year before Dale's destruction, as he only visited her father roughly once a year. While she remembered him to be a rather pleasant man, she didn't feel any familial pull towards someone she barely knew, and hadn't seen in well over a decade.

After Thedra finished, Dwalin sat silent for a few minutes as the ponies trudged up the mountain path towards the market. Finally, he spoke. “When are you going to the Green Crossing?”

Thedra's head swung around, and she stared at Dwalin in confusion. “I have no plans on going there at all.”

“If this is indeed your uncle, you should see him, lass. He's your only family left, now, and it sounds like he has gone to great lengths to find you.”

Thedra shook her head. “ _You're_ my family now. I barely knew my uncle – his family wasn't close to my family whatsoever.”

Dwalin sighed. “Thedra – time stands still for no one. This may be your only chance to see what family you have left. I think it very likely you may regret passing on this opportunity. Think carefully before you make your decision.” He grabbed onto Thedra's pony's bridle and pulled both his animal and hers to a stop. He looked at her, eyes never blinking. “What's more, you will not have to make this journey alone. Thorin has been planning an excursion to Lord Dermond's holdfast – why not go with us, and see your uncle then?”

Thedra hesitated for a moment, then reached out and clapped her hand on Dwalin's forearm. “I don't deny that I feel – hesitant – to travel so far away from our home.” She looked up. “But I know I will be safe if I am with you. I will think hard on what you have said.”

Dwalin nodded, then loosened his grip on Thedra's pony. They rode the rest of the way silently back to the mountain castle.

*****

Thorin threw his sword to the ground. “Enough,” he rumbled.

Thedra lowered her sword in return. She and Thorin had taken the last sparring session of the evening, and he had already disarmed her three times. She had been both so distracted and irritated that she had no hope of victory against him, and he could tell.

As the last few spectators left the fighting hall, Thedra slung her sword and shield on the table beside the storage closets. The resulting clang of metal reflected her mood well.

Thorin walked to Thedra's side and waited. She had a hard time meeting his eye after her failure in the fighting ring that night. Finally, she sighed harshly and slammed her palm down on the table.

“I know, I know...that was disgraceful. I'll do better tomorrow,” she snapped.

Thorin still said nothing. Thedra finished removing her fighting gear and slammed it into the open storage closet. She spun on her heal and stormed out of the hall, towards her room. Thorin followed her silently. When they were about half-way to her room, she stopped and turned to face him, steaming.

“What?” she demanded.

Thorin simply offered her his arm. She hesitated, then reluctantly took it. He led her back out towards the front entrance of the mountain, then outside and down the steps. They headed away from the market and towards the rocky cliffs on the other side. When they reached the overlook, Thorin sat down, gently tugging on Thedra's hand to sit with him.

Though it was in the height of summer, a cool breeze was finally wafting its way around the mountains, and it served to help settle Thedra's frayed anger. Thorin remained silent still, waiting for Thedra to speak. She finally did.

“Did Dwalin tell you?” she asked quietly, looking out over the fields and trees below in the last rays of the setting sun.

Thorin gazed at her thoughtfully, wondering if something new had arisen in his friend's attempt to court Thedra. “No. We have not discussed you in some time.”

Thedra sighed and looked down at her hands. “We ran into Lord Dermond unexpectedly a few days ago in the trading village. He told me that my uncle arrived at the Green Crossing two weeks ago.”

“Your uncle?” Thorin asked, thinking that he had never heard Thedra mention any extended family before.

“My father's brother. I last saw him when I was around nine years old. I had not given him any thought since we left Dale.”

Thorin never considered that Thedra might still have living relatives. “Did Dermond say why your uncle was in the Green Crossing?”

Thedra nodded. “He said he had heard tales of a human girl who had integrated into the dwarven community that left Erebor. He came to see if it was me, and if so...to take me back to Lake-town.”

Thorin's pulse quickened. Could Thedra be considering leaving? “What do you intend to do?” he asked quietly.

Thedra finally turned to face him. “Dwalin told me that you had been contemplating making a visit to the Green Crossing. He...advised me to go with you.”

Thorin's heart fell. “And?”

Thedra closed her eyes briefly. “I don't know,” she admitted. “He thinks it's important for me to take advantage of this chance to see my uncle. I'm not sure what kind of outcome to expect, however...I have no intentions of returning with him.”

Thorin breathed a silent sigh of relief at her words. “Do you not have any wish to return to your own kind?”

Thedra's anger flared again as she stood up. “I _am_ with my own kind, don't you understand? Damn it, Thorin...will you ever truly accept me?”

Thorin shot up and grabbed Thedra's arm before she could storm off. She tried to pull away, but his grip was iron. He caught her other arm as well, and pulled her into a gentle – yet unyielding – embrace.

Thedra wanted to break away from him, but something broke in her instead. She leaned into his chest, and pressed her face into his neck. They stood like this for a long time, before Thedra reluctantly pulled back slightly.

“Thedra.” Thorin clasped her hand with his own. “I only ask you these things because I'm concerned for your happiness. I can't help but fear one day...one day you may regret living your life with us.”

Thedra frowned. “I don't understand. Why would you think that?”

Thorin thought through his words carefully, trying to voice his own concerns without appearing too...involved. “It was one thing to follow us as a child – but you're an adult now, and your needs may...change...as time passes,” he began quietly. “Have you not thought of your own...family? It did not go unnoticed that you chose to wear your hair down at Kili's feast. You claimed to be seeking a husband....do you not also want children?”

Thedra was stunned that Thorin would ask her such a personal question. How could she respond, when her heart was quickly becoming so full of him?

She looked down at their joined hands, and added her second to his. “I have thought about...about a husband. But never a family. I've always known that children could never be. But...I suppose...I do look...for love...” she finished in a whisper.

Thorin's gaze met hers. His crystal blue eyes searched her own, and Thedra felt the electricity sparking between their interlocked fingers. She leaned forward again, subconsciously wanting to return to his warm embrace. Her hands slid from his and up his chest, and she closed her eyes.

_What am I doing?_ Thorin thought suddenly, his lips only inches away from hers. He raised his head up, and pulled her into a chaste hug, as before. Her hands rested above his heart, and he wondered if she could feel it beating much too fast under his tunic. _I have to end this. Quickly._

After a few moments Thorin gently pulled away, hoping that Thedra had not thought anything was amiss. He stoically offered her his arm, and led her back to the castle. He thought it best not to walk her to her room, so they said their goodnights in the hallway leading back towards the guards' chambers.

When Thorin returned to his own room, he bolted the door and let out a shaky sigh. He was still uneasy at the thought that Thedra may one day decide to return to her remaining family, and he realized he hadn't even given her an answer to her unasked question: could she make the journey with him to the Green Crossing? Truthfully, he probably would have requested her presence as a member of the Kingsguard in any case, and now that she had her own reason for going, he couldn't possibly think of a reason to refuse her. Still, the idea that after meeting her uncle she may not wish to make the return journey ate at his soul.


	20. In This Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed the slow burn portion of this story, for some serious sexy times are ahead! (I _did_ rate this Mature for a reason!) Thanks again to all who have left comments and kudos!

Thedra tied down her saddle bag and mounted her pony. She had told Dwalin last evening that she'd be joining Thorin's traveling party to the Green Crossing. He had nodded, and said nothing.

The group set off that warm summer morning, and stopped a few hours later at the trading post below the mountain. After picking up a few supplies, they began their trek towards the Grey Havens. For several days, they traveled through the gradually flattening land, enjoying each others company and the fine summer air.

Thedra took the opportunity to improve her skills with the bow. It had never been her favorite weapon, and she found her abilities with it were always limited. After watching her first few attempts at scoring a rabbit fail, Thorin had smiled slightly, then offered his help. As the days went by, she found her skill improving – as well as Thorin's arms around her with increasing frequency as he helped correct her positioning and aim. Thedra couldn't help but wonder if she would be an even better archer by now if she wasn't so distracted by the feel of his warm arms around hers, or the press of his solid chest against her back.

Likewise, Thorin relished the additional time he spent with Thedra. When he wasn't helping her train with the bow and arrow, he frequently found himself on his pony directly behind hers, watching her slight curves sway hypnotically on top of her own mount. He frequently caught himself staring at her backside for far too long, but was thankful that none of his men had seemed to notice his distraction.

On the fifth day, the party made their way to a small clearing by the river. The day was scorching, and the dwarves eyed the cool water with anticipation. One of the younger dwarves immediately began stripping off his heavy clothes before he stopped in horror, remembering that Thedra was still with them. Thedra suppressed a giggle, and pointed down the bend. “I'm heading downstream. I'll leave you boys to it.”

Thedra made her way around the rock formations until she was out of sight of the camp. She stripped down, and waded into the blessedly cool water.

In the meantime, all of the men had jumped in upstream. Thorin headed into deeper water, and allowed himself to float for a bit in the current.

Thorin hadn't realized quite how fast the water was moving, until he bumped gently into the rocks at the edge of the bend. When he righted himself, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head, and froze.

The water had carried him down far enough to get a view of the section of the river Thedra had chosen. She had only waded into the water up to her thighs, and Thorin had a clear view of the rest of her body. While she wasn't as curvy as a dwarven women, she _was_ beautiful. Her wet skin sparkled in the sunlight, and her dark hair swirled sensuously around her shoulders and breasts. Thorin knew he should respect her privacy and look away, but he also knew the shadow of the trees beside him kept him hidden.

Thedra finally waded a few more steps into the water, then dove in. The cool water felt amazingly refreshing against her bare skin. She moved towards a deeper part of the river, and swam a few strokes before sinking under the water. She slowly exhaled, marveling how the bubbles twisted and turned on their way to the surface. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of the current moving, finger like, through her long hair. She was about to make a pull to the surface, when suddenly she felt strong arms grasp her torso, forcing the remainder of her breath out of her as she was lifted out of the water.

Thedra sputtered in shock, and spun around to find herself in Thorin's arms. He stared at her, wide-eyed. “I thought...I thought you were drowning.”

Thedra was incredulous at his appearance, yet keenly aware of the contact of their naked bodies. Her breasts were pressed against his chest, as he still had his arms encircling hers. “No! I was just enjoying the water.” She paused. “Wait...why would you think I was drowning, unless you had been watching me?”

Thorin's face flushed a deep red. “I...I didn't mean...the river brought me too far downstream...”

The look in Thorin's eyes broke Thedra's will. _To hell with it._ She leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss against Thorin's lips.

Thorin didn't move. Thedra let her lips graze over his once more, and was about to pull away when he finally responded. He tentatively kissed her in return, and Thedra ran her hands up his arms and around his shoulders. Thorin responded in kind, and tightened his hold around her lower back. Thedra's right hand went higher to the back of his neck, to bring his face closer still. She opened her mouth slightly, and was exhilarated when she felt his tongue tentatively ghost over her lips. She let out a small moan, and upon hearing it, Thorin pressed her even closer to his chest. As he did so, Thedra's leg shifted and brushed against his erect manhood.

The sudden contact jolted Thorin to his senses. He pulled back suddenly, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

Thedra searched his eyes, looking for reassurance. “Thorin?” She reached out for his hand.

Thorin couldn't say a word. He held onto Thedra's hand briefly, then pulled away and headed back up stream, hoping his absence hadn't been noticed.

*****

The group settled down by the stream for the night. They had a roaring campfire and a hot meal – not to mention two kegs of ale Balin picked up from the trading post. Thedra and Thorin each tried to ignore what had passed between them earlier, but more than once they each found themselves subdued and distracted in the merry crowd.

As the fire died down, the party dispersed for the night. As the only female in the group, Thedra headed back to her solitary tent. It was still a rather warm night, so rather than snuggling under her blanket, she spread out on top of it in just her small clothes.

She let out a shaky sigh as she was finally able to focus with no distraction on what had happened that afternoon. She still couldn't believe she had found the audacity to kiss Thorin. She was irritated at herself for being so impulsive...but at the same time... _He_ did _kiss me back_.

And what a kiss it was. Thedra could still feel his warm and solid chest pressed against her breasts, and the exhilaration she had felt, finally being able to run her hands over his imposing arms and shoulders. And his mouth – his mouth was soft, and his tongue ever so tentative.

With these thoughts, Thedra knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. Her hand drifted down her stomach and untied her small clothes. She closed her eyes and thought about Thorin's strong arms and hands, and started moving her fingers in slow circles at the juncture of her thighs. She let out a breathless, quiet moan, and parted her legs wider.

*****

Thorin was the last to remain at the campfire. As he watched Dwalin's back retreat into their tent, he relaxed finally and closed his eyes, thinking about Thedra.

 _What in the world happen with us?_ he thought. He could still scarcely believe that Thedra had kissed him. And he definitely couldn't grasp the way he himself had responded. Everything he had ever known in this life had dissolved away the moment her lips had pressed against his. Somewhere, in the dim recesses of his thought where the logical part of him still reigned, there had been a voice screaming at him to stop, that this was a dangerous move...but after fighting his attraction to the woman for so long, he had given way to his baser needs.

He lowered his head to hands, then glanced at Thedra's tent. While it would be highly improper for him to go to her tent alone, he was sure that ignoring what had happened for any length of time would be even more unwise. This was no longer his choice alone – they both needed to decide how to proceed, to make sure there was no more tension or risk between them.

Thorin moved to Thedra's tent quietly, and saw that she had not tied the flap behind her. As he parted the canvas noiselessly, he sucked in a silent, shocked gasp.

Thedra was lain before him, with her head thrown back, eyes closed, and mouth slightly parted. But more than that, she was almost completely nude, with only a bit of fabric tied about her breasts – the small clothes around her lower half had been pulled away, and she was touching herself in the most intimate of ways.

To see her legs parted wide before him, Thorin lost all of his previous resolve. She was simply glorious. In one continuous motion, Thorin swept into the tent, and knelt down beside her and covered her mouth to prevent her from crying out.

Thedra's free hand flew to his, her eyes open wide in alarm. When she saw Thorin staring down at her, her already flushed skin heated further in total embarrassment. She didn't move a muscle – there was no question about what she had been doing, no way to explain it away. _I need to die...I need to die right now._

“You were thinking of me, weren't you?” Thorin asked softly.

Thedra nodded ever so slightly, her eyes shining with fear.

Thorin kept his fingers against her lips, eyes locked with hers. He could see the mounting shame in her eyes – and he wanted to make sure that was NOT how this beautiful moment would end.

Slowly, deliberately, he let his gaze roam down her body. When his eyes returned back up to hers, he leaned down and whispered in her ear:

“Continue.”

He removed his hand from Thedra's mouth and waited. Thedra blinked in surprised, but didn't move.

“Your king commands it,” he added quietly.

THAT did it. At his words, Thedra shuddered slightly and began her slow circling motion again. Thorin reclined next to her quietly, marveling at her body, thrilled in the knowledge that her legs were open...for him. As her pleasure mounted, he gently untied the cloth binding her breasts, and pulled it from her body. He traced a gentle line following the two scars on her torso; they did nothing to diminish her beauty, but rather added an exciting aspect to her physique.

She was getting close, he could tell. He ghosted his hand down her abdomen, and let his fingers settle on her thigh, very close to her own hand. He didn't want to interrupt her rhythm, so he very carefully caressed the soft flesh he found there, and finally, with the lightest of touches, ran one finger over the divide between her mound.

At his touch, her hips rose and her muscles contracted. Thedra was able to contain her moan of pleasure well enough to not be heard outside of the tent. As her hand stilled, Thorin dipped his finger deeper, to touch the wetness that her pleasure had brought. He knew she would need time to recover, but he was determined to prolong this experience for as long as possible.

He stilled his hand, but didn't remove it from her skin. Her breathing was starting to slow down, and her eyes eventually opened again and settled on his face.

“You're beautiful,” he whispered softly.

Thedra smiled slightly, then averted her eyes shyly. She began to reach for her blanket, but Thorin's free hand trapped her wrist gently to stop her.

“Will you stay like this...a few moments longer?” Thorin's eyes searched hers.

Thedra's arm relaxed. “Yes, my king,” she replied quietly. Thorin's breath quickened to hear her whisper his title – of all the royal benefits he had enjoyed, nothing had ever made him feel more like a king than this woman offering herself to him in the most intimate of ways.

Thorin knew he was teetering on a dangerous precipice. Dwarves very rarely were able to separate physical love from emotional...the more he touched her, the closer he would be to pledging himself to her. But in this moment, he couldn't bring himself to pull away. Instead, he leaned down and gently joined his lips with hers. Thedra's mouth was soft and yielding, and opened for his tongue the moment he brushed it against her bottom lip. He maneuvered his free arm underneath her, and pulled her close to himself, and ever so gently began to move the fingers of his other hand up and down in the warm, wet fold between her legs. Thedra jumped slightly at the movement, still very sensitive from the peak of her pleasure just a few minutes earlier. Thorin continued his ministrations, and Thedra was quickly on her way to her arousal again.

With her own hands free, Thedra reached up and held Thorin's face close to her as she deepened their kiss. The feeling of his thick fingers manipulating her sex was gloriously overwhelming. Her hips shuddered slightly, and she felt her body calling for fulfillment. She pulled her mouth back slightly from his. “Thorin...oh, Thorin...I need...I need...”

Thorin kissed her tenderly. “What do you need, dearest one?”

Thedra closed her eyes, searching for the words her body couldn't speak. “I need you. Please...please, take me...”

Thedra's words burned through Thorin's mind and soul. How easy it would be for him to slip inside of her at this very moment, and claim her as his own. He kissed her again, gently, and slowed his hand. “Thedra...you are still a maid, are you not?”

Thedra's eyes had opened as Thorin had slowed down. She looked at him with slight confusion. “Of course.”

“I could never dishonor you so.”

Thedra laughed softly, then leaned up to take another kiss. “My king...I am naked in your arms, with your hand between my thighs...I believe you are splitting hairs.” Her eyes locked with his as she stroked his beard gently. “You are not dishonoring me with any of it. I offer all of this to you, freely,” she whispered tenderly.

Thorin looked down, then back into her eyes. Dimly, he knew he should stop now and pull away...that he should warn her how close his feelings were coming to a point of no return. But instead, he leaned back down for another heart-melting kiss, and resumed his touches. When Thedra reached her second peak, he carefully slipped one finger into her, sure to not go too far, lest he break her maidenhead.

As Thedra's body relaxed, Thorin pulled her blanket around her. Thedra rolled over onto her side and curled herself into Thorin's chest, letting out a contented sigh. “I don't supposed you can stay here tonight?”

Thorin chuckled softly, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “No, I must return to my tent shortly, before I am missed.”

The laid in each others arms for a few moments longer, before Thedra finally spoke. “Thorin...I...”

“Yes, dearest?”

Thedra closed her eyes. “I'm afraid,” she whispered. “I'm afraid that this moment will pass, and that I'll never be in your arms again.”

Thorin had no answer for her. He could make her no promises, provide no hope for a future for them together. He pulled her closer in his embrace, silently calculating how many more seconds he could risk remaining in her tent before returning to his own.


	21. The Green Crossing

Over the next week, the group followed the river passed the Grey Havens towards the Hills of Evendim. Thedra and Thorin said very little to each other, yet occasionally shared small, sad smiles. The nights were the worst for Thedra. She longed to be in his arms, yet knew she was destined to never share his warmth again.

As the party followed the trail east, they finally passed over the last hill and got their first glimpse of the Green Crossing. The city was magnificently built, with a strong wall encircling the buildings. Lord Dermond's holdfast was visible towering over the rest of the city in the middle of the horizon.

The sight of the Crossing brought Thedra's original purpose back into focus. Now less than a day's ride from the city, her meeting with her uncle was imminent. Though she still had no intention of leaving with him to join his family, her gut twisted at what his reaction would be when she refused. He had, as Dwalin had pointed out, come a long way to find her, and would undoubtedly be disappointed.

The sun was setting when the group reached the main gate. Balin called out their greetings and business to the guards, and they were quickly ushered into the city. After hobbling their ponies in the lord's stables, the group made their way to Dermond's main entrance.

Lord Dermond met them himself in the receiving hall, and offered a handshake and smile to Thorin. “Come, my honored guests! Tonight we feast to celebrate your arrival!” Dermond led them into his banquet hall, richly furnished and already packed with many other guests. The hall was filled mostly with other humans, interspersed with some hobbits, but Thedra spied a small contingent of elves at the far table as well. As Dermond led them towards the front of the room, Thedra also noticed a group of dwarves already present. The group slowed down in unison to take in the sudden appearance of their cousins from the Iron Hills. As they reached the table, one blond dwarf in particular rose and turned to face the arrivals.

“Well met, King Thorin,” Elaria said, smiling sweetly.

*****

Tired and hungry from the journey, Thorin's party had joined their relations from the Iron Hills and began to feast. Thorin had accepted the chair Elaria had offered him, while Thedra chose to sit as far away from them as possible. Thedra had never broached the subject of Elaria's cruelty with Thorin; she now fervently wished she had.

Before the dinner was concluded, Thedra felt a hand at her shoulder. When she turned around, she saw Lord Dermond standing behind her, along with a shorter, stockier man with thick black hair, streaked with touches of silver. His face may have been more wrinkled now, but his blue eyes had not changed. They were the same her father had worn, the same she bore as well.

Thedra stood up. “Uncle,” she managed quietly.

Her uncle Tomas stared at her in silent shock, taking in her dwarven armor and hairstyle. But in a moment, he reached out to her in a fierce hug. “Thedra...it _is_ you.”

Thedra was startled at first, then tentatively reached around to hug him back. When they pulled away, they stood in an awkward silence. Dermond noticed, and quietly indicated a small room off of the main hall. “Would you two like to speak in private?”

Tomas nodded and led Thedra to the antechamber. When they were inside, Tomas fiddled with his hat, unsure of where to start, but determined to try. He motioned finally for Thedra to sit down with him, and he began his story.

“Thedra, I can't tell you how much it means to have found you at last. When word reached us that Dale had been destroyed, I made my way there as fast as I could, to try to find my brother and his family. By the time I arrived, your father and mother were dead, and you were no where to be found.” He took a deep breath. “I heard a rumor years later that a girl about your age was seen leaving with the dwarves of Erebor, and though there was no real proof that it was you – or even that the tale was true at all – I felt in my heart that it had to be my niece.” He lowered his eyes to the hat still in his hands. “I admit I did not look for you as hard as I could have. The dwarves of Erebor had traveled quite extensively over the years, and I had my own family to maintain.” He looked up at Thedra. “I hope you do not judge me too harshly for that.”

Thedra shook her head. “Of course not, uncle. I know what it took for all of us to survive those years after Smaug's attack.”

Tomas looked at Thedra thoughtfully. “I have to say that the idea of you being with the dwarves terrified me. I worried that they would mistreat you. But then I heard a tale from a trader from Evendim who had made his way to Lake-town, that there was now a human woman serving as a guard to the Dwarf King in Exile. Based on the time that had passed, I knew there was a good chance it was you. Even still, that tale never prepared me to see you as you are now.” He indicated her armor.

Thedra smiled slightly. “I can imagine.”

“Thedra,” Tomas started, then stopped, unsure of how to best continue. “ _Have_ you been treated well by these dwarfs?” he asked carefully.

Sighing, Thedra nodded slowly. “It hasn't always been easy. In the past, there were indeed times that I was not accepted by their community. But in the end, I have been surrounded by true and loyal friends during my time with them, and am grateful for it.” Thedra wasn't sure she wanted to tell the tale of her unmasking quite yet, especially if her uncle was keen on spiriting her away to Lake-town.

“I won't pretend you don't know why I'm here. When I learned from Lord Dermond that it was indeed you living in the Blue Mountains, I wrote my wife with the joyous news. She also desires that you join our family. What you may not know, however, is that in the last month my business has thrived in a most unexpected way. My new income is now such that I can move my family away from Lake-town.” Even this far away, the denizens of the Blue Mountains had heard that Lake-town was still faltering from Smaug's attack, only a dark shadow of its previous glory. “We're planning on settling in Bree, and we of course would welcome you with us.” Tomas stood up. “I know it's a lot to think about, so please don't answer me now. We will have plenty of time to talk over the coming days.”

Thedra rose as well, and they made their way back to the table in silence.

*****

Elaria smiled coyly at Thorin as she sipped her wine. She had often been regarded as an excellent conversationalist, and was slowly making progress against the king's distraction. Thorin's eyes had first frequently flitted towards the room where the human woman and her visitor had retreated, but in time she had captured more of his attention towards herself. Elaria was still surprised that Thorin had allowed the woman to remain in his kingdom, let alone serve in his guard. She remembered well how angry and distraught he had been when Thedra's true nature had been discovered in the wake of his father's disappearance; he had been so aloof for so long that Dain's party had been forced to finally return home, and thus Elaria's plans had to be put on hold. But Elaria had bided her time; she would be Queen of the Blue Mountains in due course.

*****

The dwarves enjoyed the days that followed. In the mornings, Thorin and his advisers would meet with Lord Dermond and his associates to hammer out the fine details of their extended trade agreements. Thedra took much of this time to spend with her uncle. Over time, Tomas told Thedra more about her aunt and cousins – he had two teen-aged boys of his own who were strong and eager to take part in the family trade. Thedra likewise conveyed more information about her time with the Line of Durin, how she learned to both weave and fight, and her close friendships with Dwalin and Thorin.

As Tomas and Thedra stood side-by-side on wall overlooking the valley, he turned to her. “Have you given much thought to my offer?”

Thedra kept her eyes on the view before them. “Uncle...while I am truly glad to hear how well you and your family have thrived in the past years, I have to be honest with you. I have thrived in my own way as well...and I cannot fathom leaving this life I have found for myself behind.”

Tomas' heart sank. He knew he shouldn't have expected anything more, but after searching for his brother's child for so long, he couldn't help but hope that she would make the trip with him to Bree to meet his wife and children. “Of course, I'd never try to force you to go somewhere you did not want to be. But know this – my home will always be open to you.”

Thedra finally turned to her uncle and took his hand. “Thank you. And...I will write to you, of course.”

Tomas smiled. “My wife would like that. Perhaps you may visit one day as well. Bree is not so far from here.”

Later that afternoon, Thedra returned to her room and changed into her formal armor. She clasped her blue cloak around her shoulders, and headed towards the main entrance hall to meet the others. Dwalin, Fili, Kili and three of the other guards were already waiting there; Thorin and Balin were the only ones missing.

Dwalin nodded at Thedra as she approached. “How was your morning, lass?”

“Interesting. I took a tour of the battlements with my uncle.”

Dwalin raised an eyebrow. “Indeed?”

Thedra was aware that Dwalin knew her well enough to know when she was troubled. She sighed. “He finally asked me for a decision about moving with his family to Bree. I was sorry to disappoint him, but I don't believe he holds any ill will towards me for it.”

Dwalin felt a bit light-headed with relief. He was glad he had encouraged Thedra to meet with her uncle, and happier still that she wouldn't be leaving them. “Bree is an easy distance from us, especially with the Green Crossing on the way. You can always visit.”

“That's what he said, and I promised to write as well.” She smiled warmly at Dwalin. “Thank you for convincing me to come here.”

Thedra heard a step behind her, and turned to see Thorin and Balin approaching. Thorin had also changed into his more regal attire, and Thedra admired how handsome he looked in his jeweled tunic and modest coronet. He had two medium-sized braids at his temples, clasped with imposing silver beads marked with his sigil. With a gesture of his hand, he indicated the party should follow him.

But before they could reach the door, they heard light, hurried footsteps racing down the stairwell. As they turned, they saw Elaria was approaching quickly, adorned in a beautiful scarlet gown. Her eyes and smile were only for Thorin.

“Your majesty,” she purred as she curtseyed before him. “I would be honored to join you on your tour of the city.” She looked at him expectantly.

Thorin nodded, and politely offered his arm to him. Thedra indicated to one of the other dwarves to take up the position directly behind the king while she chose to retreat to the rear of the group. Dwalin looked questioningly at Thedra's sudden decision to rearrange the guard, but said nothing when Thedra averted her eyes from his.

*****

As the party made their way through the Crossing's bustling market, Elaria remained glued to Thorin's side. They stopped frequently to examine the various wares, and the female dwarf often sought Thorin's opinion on this piece of jewelry or that bolt of cloth. As she held a stunning ruby necklace to her throat, she was delighted when she saw Thorin's eyes drift down to her full cleavage momentarily.

Elaria was shrewd enough to notice that Thorin was more distant towards her than he had been originally when they first met in the Blue Mountains. She had hoped at first that it was just his formality, but now wondered if the attraction she had perceived in him before had waned somewhat after she left. She was confident she could rekindle those first sparks of interest, but at the same time it wouldn't hurt for her to consider a bolder strategy in securing him before he returned to the Mountains.

At the end of the afternoon, Elaria retired to her chambers in the holdfast. Her new maid was waiting for her.

“What did you find?”

The maid curtseyed to her. “I'm told that Dwalin is Thorin's closest friend and advisor, and that he is considered a most trustworthy man. If a situation were to arise that would indicate Thorin in a...compromising...matter, Dwalin's word would be crucial in confirming or denying it.”

“Does Dwalin ever take nightly guard duty for himself?” Elaria sat down at her dressing table and began to remove her jewelry.

“Yes, all of the current guards rotate in that duty. I'm told that Dwalin will be on duty two nights from now.”

Elaria smiled. “Good. We'll plan to take action then.”


	22. The Ones

Thedra sat on her bed, but wasn't the least interested in settling in for the night. For weeks now, the nights had meant only loneliness and fitful bouts of sleep. It was close to midnight, and she still wore her training leathers, having stayed in Lord Dermond's fighting hall for as long as it was seemly. For the last three days, she had watched Elaria try to worm her way back into Thorin's graces. While the king had been polite to her as always, he showed no real sign of interest in the dwarven woman. Still, Thedra had a hard time fighting down a prickling of jealousy every time he sat close to her, or offered her a smile.

Sighing, Thedra stood up and made her way out of the holdfast. The night was quiet, and Dermond's guards nodded to her shortly as she made her way through the city. She made her way slowly up to the top of the wall where she and her uncle had stood a few days prior. The moon cast a silver glow on the valley below, and Thedra could barely make out the river flowing far in the distance. She basked in the cool breeze, and looked back towards the direction of the Blue Mountains for a long while, now too far away to be seen.

*****

Elaria pulled a sheer dressing coat around herself, and checked her hair and beard in the mirror one more time. She looked at her maid's reflection in the glass. “Has the merchant been paid?”

“Yes, my lady. We have full use of the room tonight, and he assures me no one will be around that area at this time of the night.”

“Good.” Elaria stood up and headed towards the door. “Give me a few minutes to get ahead, then proceed with my instructions.”

The maid nodded and Elaria disappeared through the dark hallway. The maid counted to five hundred, then cautiously made her way towards the guest chamber where Thorin was sleeping. As she expected, Dwalin was on duty this evening. His eyes narrowed when he saw the young dwarf woman approach.

“Forgive me, Master Dwalin, but I come with an urgent message from my mistress for his majesty.”

Dwalin snorted. “Does your mistress know what time it is, lass?”

She had been prepared for this sort of reply, and had planned out a response of her own. She made a great show of her trembling chin and ready tears. “Please...please, master Dwalin, my mistress insists. She will be so angry if I do not see his majesty...”

Dwalin resisted to roll his eyes and instead took pity on the girl. “Alright, alright,” he said gruffly. “Wait here a moment.”

Dwalin slipped into Thorin's chamber, and Thorin appeared himself a few minutes later. He looked at the girl questioningly. “What is this about?”

The maid looked at Dwalin sheepishly. “My mistress wanted me to deliver your message in private,” she whispered tremulously.

This time Dwalin did roll his eyes as Thorin beckoned the girl inside. He closed the door. “Alright, say what you need to say, young lady.”

The maid stared wide-eyed at Thorin. “My mistress...my mistress is in great distress. She needs to meet with you right away, and has secured a safe location. She wishes me to lead you there now.”

Thorin made no move to open the door. “Why? What is this about?”

The maid let her tears flow freely down her cheeks. “Please, your majesty, I cannot say anymore. But I must bring you to her!”

Thorin sighed, then reached for his cloak. “Alright, I will go.”

When Thorin opened the door and Dwalin saw him in his cloak, he straightened up. “Your majesty?”

Thorin waved Dwalin away. “Never you mind. I will return shortly.”

The maid lead Thorin through a maze of back hallways and into the streets. Over half and hour must have passed before she finally indicated a dark building in the middle of the deserted market. “My mistress awaits you there.” Thorin eyed the building for a short while before finally entering.

Inside only a single candle was lit. Elaria was waiting inside, and the soft candle light put a glow in her golden hair. Thorin was shocked to see she wore such a thin gown, and thought briefly how inappropriate it was for him to see her in such a state. _She must be distressed indeed to need to see me like this._

Thorin bowed shortly. “My lady?”

Elaria rushed to Thorin and threw her arms around him. “Oh, your majesty, thank you for coming,” she whispered softly.

Thorin was taken aback by her familiarity. He gently disentangled himself from her embrace, and sat them both down on a nearby couch. “Your maid mentioned you were in distress. How can I be of service?”

Elaria nodded, and took his hands in her own. “Indeed. I find that I cannot sleep, and meals have lost all of their flavor. I cannot continue like this.”

Thorin's eyes sharpened. “You have my confidence, my lady. If I can assist you, I will.”

Elaria stared longingly up into Thorin's eyes. “I was hoping you'd be able to do more than that.” She stroked his fingers. “I was hoping you would end my misery, and bring me the happiness I will only find from you.” With that, she leaned forward and kissed him.

Thorin recoiled immediately and stood up. “My lady, I think there has been some misunderstanding. If my actions have given you hope to believe I feel more for you than friendship, then I truly apologize.”

Elaria had been hoping her beauty and wit would have won him over easily, but considering how withdrawn the King of the Blue Mountains had been, she was not easily dissuaded from her new tactic. She feigned tears, trying to appeal to his sense of honor. “Your majesty? I don't understand. When we danced together that night in your halls...” she let her voice trail off and let out a theatrical sob.

Thorin was stunned. He couldn't deny that Elaria probably had had at least some interest in him as the heir to his father's throne when she first arrived in the Blue Mountains, but he had not noticed any indication that her interest had deepened beyond the pecuniary. In fact, her farewell to him had been most cordial, without a hint of emotion. How could he have been so ignorant of the feelings she was sharing with him now?

With rising pity for the dwarven woman, he sat down again beside her and took her hand gently. “Forgive me, my lady...I did not know. It is shameful for a king to admit so, but my duties must have blinded me to your affections. Had I understood your feelings, I would have done more to protect your heart.”

Elaria gave him a mournful glance. “Then...you are rejecting me?” she whispered through the tears.

“Forgive me, but I must.”

Elaria fell to her knees in front of him, grasping his hands. “Am I not beautiful enough to be your queen? Or did I not do enough to win the hearts of your people during my visit?” Her voice grew frantic. “Please, my love, tell me what I can do to win your heart, and I will!”

Thorin started at her words. “Love? My dear lady, you can't possibly mean-”

“Yes,” she interrupted him defiantly. “I do mean it. You are my One, dearest Thorin.”

Thorin closed his eyes in turmoil. He was truly stunned by Elaria's confession, and felt a rush of sympathy towards her. But he could not pretend to feel the same, and it would do her no good to have hope where there was none.

“My lady. Words can not express the pain I feel in this moment, but I cannot return your feelings.” Elaria let out another sob at his words. “Forgive me, and please accept my wishes for your health and happiness.”

Thorin left as quickly as he could, as if a demon was on his heels. He was halfway back to the hold fast when he almost collided with Thedra.

“Your majesty!” Thedra caught his arm in surprise.

Thorin's face was white, his breath quick. Thedra grabbed his other arm in alarm. “Your majesty, you're not well.”

Thorin grasped her elbows in return. “No, no...I am well, I am well.” He stared at her, at a loss for words, his mind spinning with what had transpired only a few minutes ago.

Thedra searched his face for a moment, but no answers were forthcoming. She took his arm in her own. “Let's return to the holdfast, my king.”

Thorin paid no attention to their surroundings until he found himself in what must have been Thedra's own quarters. He sat down shakily on her cot as she lit a candle on the wall. She sat down in front of him and took his hand. “Can you tell me anything, Thorin?”

Thedra's touch was a welcome change from the crying dwarf he had left half an hour prior. He let out a long sigh, not sure how to begin. Finally, in the briefest of words, he told Thedra the bulk of what had transpired.

Thedra was astonished to hear the female dwarf had been so forward with Thorin. While she had suspected the woman was still pursuing the king, she had no indication of any true feelings – only the scheming pursuit of rank and power.

Thedra eyed Thorin warily. “Now that you know Elaria's feelings...how will you proceed?”

Thorin rubbed his temple. “I will be as courteous as possible. I may not return her feelings, but I don't wish to slight her further.”

Thedra sighed in relief. “Thorin, there's something I need to tell you about Elaria. Something that happened during her visit to the Mountains.” Quickly, Thedra related the story of Elaria and her former maid. Thorin was shocked to hear that the woman that had been trembling before him just this night could in turn have behaved so cruelly to another.

“Thorin, I don't trust that woman. There's something false about her. And I worry that even though you have rejected her advances, that she may not give you up so easily.”

Thorin smiled ruefully. “She can try, but she will not succeed. I will not marry where I do not love.”

Thedra got up and joined Thorin on the bed. “I'm glad. I would be saddened to see you with someone who could not make you happy.”

Thorin and Thedra had not really spoken since the night in the tent, other than the usual pleasantries and daily business. But now, they were alone in her room, and the awkward position in which they had found themselves hung heavy in the air.

Thedra reached out gently and tucked Thorin's braid behind his ear. He caught her wrist before she could pull it away, and kissed the inside of her palm briefly before putting it down beside him. “Thedra...we should talk about what happened the other night.”

Thedra looked downcast. “You regret what happened.”

“Not at all. That was a moment I will cherish, always.” He took a slow breath. “But it cannot happen again. You understand why, do you not?”

Thedra looked up into his clear blue eyes. “I know that you cannot marry someone outside of your race, someone who cannot bear your children.” She gripped his hand tighter. “I know that I cannot give you marriage or a family, but I can give you my affection. And I will give it to you without expecting anything in return, if you will let me.”

Thorin's heart constricted painfully. “Thedra, you know that dwarves love only once, correct?”

Thedra nodded.

“I know that other races, like yours, are able not only to love multiple times, but have the ability to separate the act of love from the emotion.” His eyes bore into hers. “Thedra...we cannot.”

A look of understanding crossed Thedra's face, followed quickly by one of concern. She remembered Dwalin's confession painfully, and was afraid of Thorin's next words. “Thorin, you haven't...” her voice died out.

“No, I am not currently in love with you, Thedra,” Thorin replied softly.

While Thedra was glad to hear she hadn't caused the same sort of suffering she had inflicted on Dwalin, her heart sank to hear the man she had come to love did not feel the same. _Love. Yes, it has come to that_ , she acknowledged sadly.

Thorin continued. “But I needed to let you know now that if we continued in a similar fashion to what we started the other evening, that I soon would be. I needed you to know why...and that it wasn't because I didn't wish to be with you.”

She nodded slowly. Her heart was breaking, but she had always known this story had no happy ending. “I had hoped that for perhaps a short while I could have...could have shared some sort of happiness with you.”

Thorin's pulse quickened as images of her lying naked in her tent flashed through his mind. He had thought of that night constantly over the last days, and now that he was alone in her room in the early morning hours, he found himself tempted again. “I know, dearest.” He looked away, trying to ignore the rising heat in his blood.

Thedra looked at him thoughtfully. “Would you be in danger if we were together just one more time?”

Thorin let out a shaky breath. “I...I don't think so. But I'm afraid of setting a dangerous precedent.”

Thedra knew she should be stronger, especially for Thorin's sake, but the idea that she could never be in his arms again was devastating. She couldn't resist one more night of happiness with him. She reached up and caressed Thorin's face, slowly trailing her hands down his neatly trimmed beard. “Tell me to stop now, and I will. I can't promise I will later.”

Thorin eyed her sadly, knowing he should stand and leave. But his legs stayed rooted to the floor, and he did nothing to push her away. Thedra leaned in slowly and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and then on his cheek. She paused for a moment, then tenderly kissed his lips.

Thedra pulled back then and stood up. She locked her door, then slowly began to undress. She placed her Kingsguard cloak on her chair, and methodically unclasped her armor. She tugged off her boots, then stepped out of her leggings. She stood before him in the dim candle light, in her corset and small clothes. She turned her attentions to the king, and slowly pushed his cloak from around his shoulders, then removed his boots. She lifted his loose tunic, then unlaced his trousers. He stood up so she could lower them. He stood before her fully nude, with her kneeling before him. She let her gaze wander over his magnificent body, finally resting on the thick pillar before her. She lifted her eyes to his. “I want to give you the same pleasure you gave me...will you teach me?”

Thorin could scarcely imagine how soft her lips would feel on his manhood, but he knew that was much too dangerous a risk. He shook his head and helped her to his feet. “No need for that, dearest,” he murmured softly. He pulled her close, and she kissed a line down his collar bone. His hands tangled in the laces of her corset, and he deftly pulled it loose and let it drop to the floor. His hands slid down her sides and untied the laces at her hips that held her smallclothes in place. Once they fell away and she stood as naked as he, he lowered his mouth to hers.

Thedra felt her chest rise as his lips met hers, and his tongue gently delved into her mouth. She pushed against him and slowly moved him to her bed. They collapsed on the blanket, a tangle of limbs and passionate kisses. Thedra maneuvered herself on top of him, and Thorin's breath hitched at the proximity of her to his manhood. Thedra noticed as he froze, and slowly moved off him and to his side. “Forgive me,” she whispered quietly. Her body was on fire for him, and she longed to feel him inside of her, but she would not risk hurting him to satisfy her own needs.

As they both tried to catch their breath, Thedra snuggled into his shoulder. In a few moments, he tilted her head towards him, and began kissing her again – this time, more slowly and tenderly. They spent the next few hours kissing and caressing each other, until Thedra faded into a deep sleep on Thorin's chest. Thorin knew he should leave soon, but closed his eyes briefly to allow Thedra a few more minutes of uninterrupted sleep.

Thorin woke up with the sun pouring in, Thedra still resting in his arms...and Dwalin banging fiercely on Thedra's door.


	23. Entrapment

Thedra shot up out of the bed and struggled to get her sleeping tunic tugged over her head and shoulders. “I'm awake! Give me a moment!” she called to Dwalin.

“Hurry!” the warrior called through the dense wood. Thorin, got out of bed as well, and stood behind the door as Thedra opened it part way.

“Thorin left last night and has not returned. We need to find him.”

Thedra hoped Dwalin didn't notice her cheeks darken as she nodded. “I'll be ready in a moment. Go on ahead, and I'll catch you up.”

Dwalin turned and hurried down the hall while Thedra closed her door. Thorin let his head fall back against the stone wall and closed his eyes. _Sweet Mahal, what a mess I have gotten myself into._

Thedra shrugged out of her tunic and began to quickly replace her clothing and armor. Thorin soon followed suit, and in a few minutes, they were both dressed. Thedra went to the door, but Thorin caught her hand and stopped her briefly. “Thedra.”

She looked at him with concern, then stepped into his arms. They held each other close for a long moment, then Thorin pulled back. “Check the hallway. When it's clear, I'll make my way out of the castle. You did not see me. I will make my excuses to Dwalin.”

Thedra nodded and opened the door. The hallway was empty, so Thorin gave her a fleeting smile, then strode off towards his own chamber.

*****

Thedra purposefully headed off a few minutes later in the opposite direction, and fortunately ran into Dwalin after he 'found' Thorin. Thedra had no idea what the king had told their friend, but Dwalin didn't seem to find anything amiss. He smiled at Thedra, then invited her to take breakfast with him.

Thorin was already seated with Elaria when they entered. Thedra was surprised to see them together, then recalled Thorin's wish to not offend the female dwarf further, in spite of what Thedra had revealed to him about Elaria's previous behavior. She noticed Elaria seemed to be downcast, yet flicked her gaze hopefully at Thorin from time to time. It was clear she still held out hope that Thorin would change his mind.

After breakfast, Thedra caught up with Thorin alone as he walked through the entrance hall. “My king, may I have a moment?”

Thorin and Thedra moved towards the back corner of the hall, away from the grand staircase and doors. Thedra dropped her voice so that there was no chance of them being overheard. “All went well with Dwalin?”

Thorin nodded. “I told him I had met with Elaria and her maid briefly, but didn't divulge the details of our conversation. I then decided to grab a few drinks at a local pub, then decided to rent a room there instead of wandering back alone here so late at night.”

Thedra winced. Thorin wasn't known for excessive drinking, but she supposed the lie would have to do. “I see.” She paused and looked around to make sure they were still alone. “I saw you with Elaria this morning. She does not appear overly deterred.”

Thorin nodded. “I noticed that as well...but I am unsure on how best to protect her from further hurt.”

The image of Elaria's former maid on the floor with a bloodied nose flashed through her mind. “I'm not sure she deserves your concern, your majesty,” she commented dryly.

Thorin gave Thedra a ghost of a smirk. “Jealousy does not become you, dearest.”

Thedra drew herself up in anger, but Thorin laid a calming hand on her arm. “Forgive my jest, Thedra.”

Thedra's eyes flashed for a moment, but she bit her tongue and swallowed her reply. Finally, she looked back at Thorin with a curl of her own lip. “I suppose you should get used to it, my king. Some day you will find your One, and you will see just how jealous I can get.” Thedra meant it to come out lightly, but the weight of what she said sat heavy on Thorin's heart.

His eyes softened and his hand trailed down to hers. “Statistically, it's very unlikely that any one male in our community will find his One. There's a good chance you will never face that day with me.”

Thedra smiled at Thorin sadly. “I can't imagine any woman resisting you, my king,” she replied quietly.

*****

The next two weeks continued without incident, and on the day before Thorin's party was to return to the Blue Mountains the Lord of the Green Crossing was planning a feast to mark their farewell. Elaria had tried in vain to coerce Thorin into a courtship, but she had run out of time. It was time to grow the seeds she had planted a few weeks prior.

Elaria serenely made her way to Thorin's chambers that afternoon and rapped on his door. He opened it, and looked at the woman with a hint of surprise.

“May I enter, your majesty?”

Thorin opened the door wider and motioned for her to come inside. He moved towards his table, but was startled when he heard the lock click behind him. He frowned at the idea that she would be so bold as to lock herself in his room with him, alone. Thedra's warnings darted through his head as he turned to face her.

After what had happened the other week, Thorin was expecting the woman to dissolve into tears again. But it was though an entirely different dwarf stood before him now, calm and calculating. “Have you reconsidered a marriage to me, King Thorin?”

Thorin frowned. “I am sorry, my lady, but I have not.”

Elaria lazily made her way towards his desk and ran her fingers over the books she found there. “I would advise you to think carefully on your choice. My father is a very wealthy man, and would be proud to share his rich gifts with the royal family of Durin. Gifts that would elevate your status much more quickly than you have accomplished so far.”

“While I appreciate the...generosity...of your family, the fact remains still that I do not love you, Lady Elaria. You are not my One.”

“Nor you mine. But I am determined to convince you that an alliance with me is your best – and only – chance.”

Thorin's anger flared. “You admit you lied to me, then?”

Elaria nodded once. “Forgive me, your majesty. I did not do you justice before. I thought you would be weak and malleable, like most men, but you withstood my charms most stoically. But, in the end, I will get what I want. And what I want is for you to announce our engagement at tonight's feast.”

The preposterous nature of it made Thorin bark out a short laugh. “And how do you plan to accomplish that, my lady?”

Elaria turned and smiled at him sweetly. “Because I am with child, and you are the father.”

Thorin's jaw dropped. “Impossible. I never touched you.”

“Of course not. But that is the story I will tell your people and mine if you do not do as I say. My maid will testify that you came to my room alone two weeks ago, and your own man will not be able to deny that you went with her to see me for an extended period of time that night as well. It will be my word against yours...and I have witnesses.”

Thorin strode to the door and yanked it open. “Out. Now.”

Elaria strolled past him but paused at the door. “Think about what I've said. I can make you very rich...or very miserable.” With that, she headed out and back down the hall.

*****

Thorin sat uneasily on the dais next to Lord Dermond, with a fake smile plastered to his face. He didn't really think that Elaria would make good on her threat – but at the same time, she did have a history of being bold. She sat at the table below. He tried to ignore her, but whenever he glanced in her direction, she stared at him meaningfully. To boot, her father and two brothers had arrived this morning unexpectedly. That did not bode well in Thorin's mind.

Thedra stood off to the side of the dais in her armor. She kept her eyes on Thorin with growing concern. He was obviously distracted, but had refused to tell her anything on their way to the hall. She was glad that they would be finally leaving tomorrow.

As the feast was drawing to a close, Lord Dermond stood up to make one last toast before bidding the crowd goodnight. But before he could speak, Elaria had risen from her table and stepped up to the Lord of the Crossing. She raised her hand, “Forgive me, my lord. If I may?” Dermond glanced at her quizzically, but nodded and sat back down.

She turned to the crowd and gave them a warming smile. She raised her glass. “Forgive my brashness, but I cannot keep my happiness contained, especially now that my beloved family has arrived.” She strode around the head table and took her place beside Thorin's right shoulder. “I would ask you all to celebrate with me and King Thorin, on the announcement of our engagement!” she cried out triumphantly.

*****

An hour later, Thorin paced his chamber in front of Thedra, Dwalin, and Balin. After Elaria's announcement, the room had erupted in confusion. The gathered men, hobbits, and elves had clapped and toasted politely, but the dwarves had sat rooted in confusion, muttering among themselves. When Thorin had stood angrily to refute Elaria's proclamation, she had made good on her threat and accused him of placing a bastard in her belly and demanded that he do his duty to her. Matters devolved further when Elaria's father, Elonus, had challenged Thorin for besmirching his daughter's honor.

“I never touched the woman!” Thorin stormed.

Balin nodded, and of course, Thedra knew the truth. But Dwalin stared at Thorin balefully, saying nothing.

“We need witnesses, Thorin,” Balin began. “What was the name of the pub you went to that evening?”

Thorin stopped pacing and stared at Balin. “I don't remember,” he said finally. “It was late and dark. I doubt I'd be able to find it again.”

Thorin's eyes met Dwalin's, and he saw the uncertainty there. “You don't believe me.”

“I want to believe you, your majesty.” Dwalin chose his words carefully. “But Elaria's maid did come to your room that night, saying her mistress was in distress, and you left with her shortly after – alone.” He drew in a breath and stood taller. “More to the point, you claim to have gotten drunk and slept in a pub afterward. Forgive me, my king, but I have known you for a long time – and that is not your way.”

Thorin slammed his hand down on the desk, and lowered his head. He couldn't go on trying to deceive his best friend. “You are right, my friend.” He raised his head and turned around to face Dwalin. “I have lied to you about where I was that night, but it was only to protect someone else. However, I swear on my father's honor that I was NOT intimate with that conniving bitch!”

Dwalin closed his eyes briefly. “I see.” Thedra could tell that he was not thoroughly convinced by Thorin's statement, considering that he had admitted lying in the same breath.

“My king,” she intoned quietly. “Perhaps for the sake of trust between you and your advisors, you should divulge your location on the evening in question.”

Thorin looked at her with meaning. “I do not fear for myself, but for the one who was involved,” he replied slowly. “I cannot speak without doing this person harm.”

Thedra's eyes remained locked with his, weighing her options. Finally, she spoke.

“Thorin could not have been with Elaria that night...because he was with me.”

The silence in the room was crushing. Balin stared at his feet, and Thorin turned slowly back towards his desk. Thedra couldn't bring herself to look at Dwalin.

Finally, Balin was the one to speak. “Well, that settles our doubts within,” he said quietly.

Thedra picked up where Balin was too polite to continue. “However, my...admission...will not mean much outside of this room. It would only fuel their attempts to paint his majesty in a bad light.”

Balin agreed. “This will need to stay among us, and go no farther.” He sat down on a chair and sighed. “We need to figure out a way to disprove Elaria's claims, but it will not be easy.”

“Do we even know if Elaria is in fact, pregnant?” Thedra asked.

Balin shook his head. “She claimed conception was two weeks ago, so it will be awhile before she shows. However, there is the question of her monthly blood...”

“I don't see how we'd be able to know if she bleeds, with her maid obviously being in on the plot.” Thedra sat down on the edge of Thorin's bed.

Thorin finally turned around. “In spite of his challenge towards me, we may have hope that her father at least is an honorable man. Perhaps he could be persuaded to find the truth.”

Dwalin cleared his throat. “I find it unlikely, but possible. He undoubtedly believes that his daughter is telling the truth, and will want to uphold her honor at all costs.”

“But what honor? If her story had been true, then she essentially would be admitting that she had broken dwarven customs as well by being intimate before marriage.”

“Aye.” Dwalin's look at Thedra was slightly accusatory, and Thedra felt a blush rise up her cheeks before she looked away.

“I think Thorin has the right of it,” Balin said finally. “Let me talk to Elonus. With luck, I can persuade him to help us prove the truth.”

*****

Thedra started at a knock at her door. She had just returned from one of Lord Dermond's briefing chambers, where Balin had expertly convinced Elonus to give them time to prove Thorin's side of events. She opened the door wearily, and stared unsurprisingly into Dwalin's grim face. She knew he wouldn't stay away for long after her confession earlier that evening.

“May I speak to you, my lady?”

The fact that Dwalin addressed her so formally rather than his usual 'lass' did not bode well. She nodded and indicated that he enter.

Thedra stood uneasily, unable to quiet meet her friend's eyes. She knew it must have hurt him terribly to learn about her and Thorin in such a way. She wished it had been different.

Dwalin seemed equally uncomfortable, and at a loss for words.

“Dwalin, I don't know what to say, but that I'm sorry. I never would have chosen this way to tell you.”

“How long?” he asked quietly.

Thedra wasn't sure how to reply. “It's hard to explain. My feelings for Thorin have been growing for many years, but I had no reason to think he felt anything towards me, until...” she stopped, not sure how to continue. Truthfully, there was nothing between her and Thorin. He had made it clear that he could not court her, and his dwarven nature prohibited any more of the kind of other intimate encounters that she might have enjoyed had he been one of her kind.

But Thorin had spent the night with her, and Dwalin knew it.

“Thedra, you do realize by dwarven standards, that it's improper for him to have spent the night with an unmarried lass. Highly improper.” Dwalin's eyes bore into hers.

Thedra's anger flared unexpectedly. She had not ever meant to hurt Dwalin, but she didn't feel she had truly done anything to merit a lecture from him, either. “As you may recall, Thorin isn't the first dwarf I've spent the night with.”

The color drained from Dwalin's face. Slow realization dawned on Thedra. “That's the night you pledged yourself to me, isn't it?” she asked, softening.

“Aye.” Dwalin sighed harshly. “I'm being jealous and unfair, I admit it. But I hope you can appreciate that this situation is different. I'm just a warrior, but Thorin is our king.” He looked away. “Thedra, you could have married me and there would have been little if any outlash. My blood line is of no consequence. But if word were to get out that Thorin had a human consort, his reputation would be irrevocably tarnished.”

Thedra knew his words were true, but bristled at the term 'consort'. “I am still a maiden, my lord.”

Dwalin closed his eyes, briefly. “I believe you, but many more will not. The result to Thorin's reputation would be the same.” He took Thedra's hands and returned his gaze to her. “Understand me now: Thorin is not my only concern.” His eyes were full of worry. “What about your own honor and happiness?”

Thedra lowered her head. “I've lived most of my life as a member of your community...to the point that I find it hard to believe that I too will ever love anyone else...except Thorin.”

Dwalin's heart broke when he heard Thedra confirm her love for Thorin. “Has Thorin pledged himself to you, lass?” he asked finally. It was extremely unseemly for him to ask, but he had to know.

“No, of course not! He knows his duty well.” Thedra looked down at her hands in Dwalin's. “And I must do my best to help him. Until my dying breath.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are following along! This is probably my last update before I head out on vacation - I'll be back with a new chapter around mid-August!


	24. Duty

Thedra was sitting at a table in the great hall when a small dwarf came and tugged at her elbow. She turned and eyed the visitor, who wore a deep cowl over his face. “Yes?”

The dwarf didn't say anything, just motioned for Thedra to follow him. Once they reached a small empty room, the dwarf turned around and took off his cowl. It wasn't a male dwarf – it was a female. And she looked very familiar.

“Forgive me, my lady, but I couldn't risk being seen,” she said nervously.

“I know you,” Thedra said. “But I cannot remember from where.”

The dwarf's eyes lighted up. “Thank you, my lady. You were kind to me once. Once when I was hurt.”

“You were Elaria's maid,” Thedra realized.

“Yes. You protected me when no one else would. I have not forgotten. And when I learned what my former mistress was planning against the King of the Blue Mountains, my honor demanded I help you in any way I could.”

Thedra raised her eyebrow. “You know of Elaria's plot against my king?”

The former maid nodded. “I remained in her service for quite some time after we left the Mountains. I overheard her talk often with her mother about her plans of tricking King Thorin into marriage if he did not choose her willingly.”

“Her mother? What about her father?”

The maid shook her head. “Master Elonus is a good man. He always treated me kindly, and acted with honor. He's the only reason I could stay with the family as long as I did.”

Thedra paced slowly, then turned back to her companion. “Would...would you be willing to testify against Elaria?”

The maid drew in a shaky breath. “Yes,” she admitted in a small voice. “It will mean my expulsion from the Iron Hills, but I believe living with a lie would be worse.”

Thedra reached out and took her hand. “You are very brave, and you will not face this alone. Once this distasteful business is done, you may return with us to the Blue Mountains.”

The maid did not look as relieved at the proposition as Thedra had expected, but she looked at Thedra with clear eyes. “I will do what I must to defend the truth.”

*****

The following afternoon, Thorin, Balin, and Thedra waited outside of Lord Dermond's Great Hall before the inquest began. Dwalin had not been seen since the previous evening, and the remaining group was on edge at his absence. While Thedra knew the warrior was perfectly capable of defending himself, she worried that there may be an even greater plot afoot that had detained him from returning to Thorin's side at such a critical moment.

The doors opened, and Dermond's guards ushered them in. Awaiting them inside stood Elonus, Elaria, and Elaria's current maid. Dermond sat at the front of the room, and began the proceedings.

Time seemed to fly by as both Elaria and her maid told their stories and made their accusations. Thorin, to his credit, sat in a stony silence even as Elaria told the worst of her lies. As the maid finished her tale, Lord Dermond leaned back in his chair and examined the scene before him. He turned to Thorin. “Do you have any witnesses you wish to call?”

The door to the hall swung open, and Dwalin strode in with a large, pot-bellied man behind him. “Yes, he does.”

Thorin raised an eyebrow at his friend. Dwalin nodded at him once, then turned to Lord Dermond. “This man is the shopkeeper that Elaria paid for the use of his room on the night in question.”

Elaria stood up angrily. “I've never seen this man before in my life.”

The shopkeeper eyed Elaria for a moment, then turned to Lord Dermond. “My lord, what master Dwalin says is true. This dwarven woman paid me handsomely for private use of my shop two weeks ago.” He looked over at the maid. “This one was with her, too.”

Thedra nodded with satisfaction. Elaria and her maid had both testified that Thorin had gone to Elaria's room, so while the shopkeeper may not be able to collaborate anything more of Thorin's side of the story, this could at least help prove that the two women had given false testimony.

Lord Dermond stood up and approached the man. “I assume that price was for your silence as well?”

“Aye, my lord.”

Lord Dermond frowned. “But you chose to break that silence. Why?”

The shopkeeper lifted his chin in defense. “I'd like to think of myself as a man of my word, but I also want no part of anything underhanded. When master Dwalin told me what this gold had bought, I thought it my duty to speak the truth.” He pulled out a sack of gold and dropped it on the table in front of Elaria. “You'll be having this back, miss.”

When the shopkeeper left, Thedra slipped Elaria's former maid in the chamber. Elaria gasped when the girl removed her hood. The maid told her tale quietly, but bravely. Lord Dermond dismissed her with his thanks, then addressed the remaining party.

“We have heard witnesses from both sides, each with seemingly solid tales. What we lack, however, is true evidence. Everything brought before me today is, in the end, hearsay. With that, it puts me in a difficult position to try to find a solution to this matter.”

Elonus had remained silent throughout the proceedings, but rose now. He walked slowly to the table and picked up the bag of gold the shopkeeper had left in front of Elaria. “Lord Dermond, I thank you for your assistance thus far, but you no longer need to make a decision.” He took a deep breath. “My daughter is lying.”

Elaria's mouth dropped open, but before she could speak, Elonus slammed the bag back down on the table and pointed at a corner of the fabric with his stubby finger. “You forget, your initials are on your coin purses, daughter.”

Elonus turned to Elaria's maid. “You are dismissed from my service. You have one hour to collect your belongings and leave.” The maid rushed out of the room.

Finally, Elonus turned to Thorin. “King Thorin, I offer you a formal apology on behalf of my family. I am truly shamed by the actions of my daughter today, and would humbly beg your forgiveness.”

Thorin nodded once, and Elonus took Elaria by the arm and left without another glance at the rest of those assembled.

Thedra let out a sigh of relief. She turned to Dwalin and grabbed his arm. “Thank you, my friend.”

Dwalin allowed himself a small smile then looked at Thorin. The king matched the warrior's smile and led his group from the hall. At last, they were free to return home.

*****

That night dinner was a small affair, not like the feast that was to have been their send off a few weeks earlier. But Thorin and his group thanked Lord Dermond for his hospitality and help. Thedra made her way back to her room, but stopped warily when she noticed her door was ajar. Thedra entered slowly and scanned the room. Nothing seemed to be missing or disturbed, but there was a note on her bed. She picked it up. It only had two lines.

_I know about you and Thorin. Leave tonight, or I will ruin him._

*****

Thorin narrowed his eyes at Thedra. “This is an empty threat, and not one I will dignify with a response.”

Thedra stood in front of him, pale with worry. “I know what this will mean for you if this person acts on this threat. I don't want to be used as a weapon against you, Thorin.”

Thorin's gaze softened and he stepped forward, putting his hands on Thedra's shoulders. “That is exactly what they intend to do with you, Thedra. Your leaving would be more painful than any rumor they could hope to spread.”

Thedra smiled for a moment, but shook her head. “You mean well, my king, but we both know how difficult this could make things for you,” she replied sadly.

Thorin let out a gentle snort and turned towards the window. He gazed up at the stars shining down on the Crossing. “I've tried to keep my distance,” he began slowly. “I've tried to do the right thing by you and my people. I may not have always succeeded, but by Mahal, we do not deserve this.”

Thedra approached Thorin and leaned against his back. “I know, my king,” she whispered.

Thorin finally turned around and locked his gaze with Thedra. “I refuse to let a coward who is too afraid to make his threats in public dictate your life or mine. We proceed home as planned.”

Thedra stared at Thorin sadly for a moment, then quietly left his room. Dwalin was on duty, and eyed Thedra with curiosity. “Is anything amiss, lass?”

Thedra gazed at her friend for a beat longer than usual, then offered him a rue smile. “No, my friend.” She laid her hand on his arm. “Goodnight, Dwalin.”

Thedra returned to her room and stared at the mysterious note. Instead of getting ready for bed, she finished packing her bag. When she was sure the rest of the castle was asleep, she slipped out of her room and readied her pony. As she walked her mount through the city gates, she glanced back one last time, then climbed on her pony and urged the animal onto the road headed south.


	25. Misdirection

Dawn came quickly, and Thedra enjoyed the scene in front of her as she made her way down the road. The Hills of Evendim rose gently to her left, and the sun sparkled in the dew on the fields to her right. The day passed with no event, and as dusk approached, Thedra brought her pony to a halt. 

As night fell, she made a small fire and cooked a rabbit she had shot earlier. Thedra imagined the proud look that Thorin would have given her had he been there. Sighing, she tried to push thoughts of him out of her mind. She needed to get a few hours of good sleep if she was to be able to outrun whoever might be following her. She knew her friends would quickly figure out the direction she had taken.

As she unfurled her bedroll, she perceived the quiet hoof falls nearing. She looked across the fire and stared unblinkingly into Kili's face as he sat down, grinning.

Thedra shook her head with a grin. “I suspected someone would come after me, but I didn't think Thorin would send you.”

Kili smirked. “He didn't. I overheard him and Dwalin arguing on which one of them would go after you. While they were wasting time trying to decide, I left.”

Thedra rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Thorin must be beside himself with us both missing.”

Kili's smile dropped slightly. “Why did you leave, Thedra? Thorin and Dwalin said there was no note, but it sounded like they knew you had a reason.”

Thedra stared down at her hands. “It's not something I can talk about, my friend. But Thorin knows my reason, even though he may not agree with it.” She looked up. “All I can tell you is that I'm doing what I know to be best for Thorin and our people.”

“How long will you be gone?” Kili asked.

Thedra averted her gaze. “I do not have any plans to return,” she replied quietly.

Kili frowned. “You can't mean that.” He stood up and walked to Thedra's side. “I can't believe there is any problem so dire that you would leave us forever.” Kili sat down. “You fought so hard to remain with us when my uncle was being foolish. How can you give up now?”

Sighing, Thedra stared into the fire. “Back then I was protecting myself. Now I'm protecting those I hold most dear.”

Kili shifted on the log next to Thedra. “Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?”

Thedra shook her head. Finally, she stood up. “We should sleep. Then tomorrow...tomorrow you need to return to the Crossing and tell Thorin and Dwalin that you did not find me.”

“I can't lie to my uncle.”

Thedra closed her eyes briefly. “I know. But if you can...please don't tell him that I'm heading to Lond Daer.”

It was clear Kili was bewildered. “Why are you going to Lond Daer of all places?”

Thedra hated lying to Kili, but she knew she had to throw her friends off her trail. “I've accepted a new position serving on a merchant trade ship. They will be picking me up from one of the remaining ports in Lond Daer.”

Kili stared at Thedra sorrowfully. “I never pictured you as the sailing type.” He grabbed his own bedroll from his pony and laid it out a few feet away from Thedra's. He looked at her thoughtfully. “You'll be careful, won't you, Thedra?”

“I will, Kili.”

As Thedra settled down for the night, her thoughts drifted back to Thorin. Though she knew she had made the right decision by leaving, she was trying desperately to ignore the growing pain of what she had done. She tried not to think about the reality of her situation – that she would never see the man she loved again. She rolled over, and tried to sleep...knowing that she would never sleep half so well as she had when Thorin's arms were around her.

*****

Kili and Thedra woke early and said their farewells. Kili tried halfheartedly to convince Thedra to return with him, but her mind was set in grim determination. As he rode slowly north, Thedra turned her pony south and continued on.

A few days later she reached a major cross road and turned east. She was entering The Shire, and passed hobbit traders more and more frequently. But instead of heading south again towards Sarn Ford as she had led Kili to believe, she continued on towards Hobbiton.

The Shire was nothing like she had ever seen. Thedra marveled at the burrowed houses and lush greens. It was quite the contrast from the Mountains, but in a way, the underground Hobbit houses lodged deep within the earth reminded her painfully of the home she had left behind.

After passing Hobbiton she continued on through the forest as the road gradually turned south. Within a week, she finally spied her final destination – Bree.

The weather had been fine for the entirety of her journey but for the last day. As a steady rain fell that evening, Thedra entered the bustling trade town. Travelers and traders brushed past her as they hurried towards their destinations, and Thedra likewise made her way towards the first tavern she saw. After tying her pony up under a covered post, she shook off her cloak and stepped in the building.

The bar wasn't too busy, and Thedra ordered dinner and an ale. While a few folks gave her a stare – she was, after all, a human woman in dwarven armor – most people turned back to their drinks quickly. It appeared that the denizens of Bree were more accepting of cultural differences - even when those differences resided in a single person.

As Thedra finished her ale, and stopped the bartender when he came to refill her mug. “Do you know of a human trader by the name of Tomas here in Bree?”

The bartender shrugged. “Could be. I don't bother to learn too many folks names when they come in here. But many of the tradesmen do most of their business on the east side of town, near the gate to the East-West Road. If you hurry, you may still catch them before the last stalls close for the night.”

Thedra thanked the man and placed her payment on the bar top. She didn't bother to ride her pony to the east side, but walked through the falling night in the light drizzle that had followed the rain. Thedra found the market the bartender had spoken off, and indeed there were still many traders about in spite of the rain and growing darkness.

Thedra gazed around but saw no sign of her uncle. She stopped at the closest stall and motioned to the short, blond man behind the booth.

“What can I do for you, miss?”

“Please, are you familiar with a man named Tomas? He's a trader here in town.”

The blond man's eyes trailed over her armor briefly. “Would this be the trader that arrived recently from Lake-town?”

Thedra nodded. “Yes, he and his family have just moved here.”

The short man smiled. “He was going on about how his niece was a dwarven warrior. As you might imagine, we thought he was just telling tales to get more business.” He put out his hand, and Thedra took it. “Welcome to Bree.”

“Thank you. Do you happen to know where my uncle and his family might reside?”

He shook his head. “Nay, but there's a good chance he may be at The Prancing Pony at this hour. I'll take you there in a moment, if you would be so kind as to wait as I close?”

Soon Thedra followed the man to a bustling tavern. She took a deep breath and stepped inside.

*****

Kili encountered Dwalin and Thorin a few hours after he began his trek back to the Green Crossing. He offered Thorin a shaky smile; he could tell his uncle was furious.

Thorin grabbed Kili's pony's reigns and pulled his face to a mere few inches from his nephew's. “If you ever pull a stunt like this again, I'll make sure you spend the next twenty years as dwarfling in your mother's care rather than as a warrior in mine.”

Thorin had been enraged when he found that Thedra had left during the night after she had received the written threat. Dwalin, in turn, couldn't forgive himself for not realizing something was truly amiss when she bid him goodnight. Both dwarves had traveled in silence, each left to their own regrets.

But now that they had caught up with Kili, Thorin was desperate for information. “What did you find, nephew?” Thorin's blue eyes bore into Kili's own.

Kili didn't want to betray Thedra's wishes, but he had told her truthfully that he would not lie to his uncle and king. “I found her, uncle. I tried to convince her to return with me, but she refused.” He hesitated.

“Go on,” Thorin urged.

Taking a deep breath, Kili continued. “She told me not to tell you, but...she is heading to Lond Daer.”

Thorin's brow raised in surprise. “Lond Daer? I would have bet all the riches in Erebor that she would travel to her uncle in Bree.” Thorin turned to Dwalin. “You and Kili return to the Green Crossing, and take the rest back to the Blue Mountains. I ride for Lond Daer.”

Before Dwalin could protest, Thorin kicked his pony into a fast pace down the road, his cloak billowing behind him.

*****

Thorin rode his pony as hard as he dared as he traveled down the road through The Shire and deeper south towards Sarn Ford. He couldn't imagine what kind of business would take Thedra to the ruins of Lond Daer, but he hoped that by keeping up a quick pace he could overtake her before long. But as the days passed, he began to lose hope of catching her so easily. She must have anticipated that he would be looking for her.

 _She had to have known that I would come for her_ , he steamed. _Did she really think I would give her up so easily? Does she imagine I have so little regard for my friend, a member of my personal guard?_ He leaned in to his mount, silently willing the beast to go just a little bit faster.

As night approached, Thorin finally gave his overworked mount a break and made camp for the night. Sure now that Thedra must have planned that he would follow her, there was now little point in rushing toward Lond Daer. While there were no side roads she could take to the ruined port town, she must have stayed off the main path to avoid detection. With how hard Thorin had ridden over the last week, there was a good chance he may have even passed her without realizing it.

If that was the case, there was nothing Thorin could do but go to Lond Daer and hope to find her when she finally arrived.

Thorin stretched out on his bedroll, and tried to ignore the distant fear that had been gnawing on the edge of his thoughts over the last few days. The more time that passed, the stronger his anxiety over Thedra's departure grew. After thwarting Elaria's plot, Thorin had finally let himself relax in anticipation over their return home. He had pictured an uneventful trip filled with song, sun, and ale with his companions. In his dreams, he had imagined helping Thedra improve her skills with the bow, her blue-grey eyes glowing in the sunlight, her long hair brushing up against his skin as he encircled her with his arms to help her aim...

Thorin groaned and threw his arm over his eyes. It seemed impossible, but he found himself thinking more and more impure thoughts about Thedra now that she was gone. It was clear that absence was doing nothing to help quell his deepening attraction for the woman. His feelings were both elating and frightening. He knew following his heart would have disastrous consequences, but he couldn't deny the excitement he felt when he thought about truly pursuing such a forbidden love.

_Love? No, no it has not gotten to that point. It_ cannot _get to that point_ , Thorin told himself. He willed himself to go to sleep, somehow successfully ignoring the small part of his head that was reminding him that he had left his friends and his home behind...all to pursue this one woman who now meant more to him than his family or his duty.


	26. Bree

Though there was some general confusion when Dwalin and Kili returned to the Crossing without the king, the warrior quickly assembled the dwarves and gave his instructions. “Everyone is to return to the Blue Mountains. Fili, keep an eye on your brother.” Dwalin turned to his own brother. “Balin. You'll be in charge in my absence.”

Balin blinked once, but kept his face neutral. “Where will you be going?”

Dwalin looked away and busied himself with the packs on his pony's saddle. “Bree.”

“You think Kili is lying about Lond Daer?” Balin asked softly.

Dwalin shook his head once. “No, but Thedra is one of my trained fighters. She had to have known that I- that we would come looking for her.” He closed the flap on his last pack and turned to Balin. “I believe Lond Daer is a diversion. The story she told Kili seems too far-fetched. I believe it much more likely that she traveled to her uncle and his family instead.”

Balin laid his hand on Dwalin's arm. “Thedra means a great deal to you, doesn't she?”

Dwalin started at his brother's words. He began fumbling with his mount's saddle straps and refused to meet Balin's gaze. “Of course. She is my protegee and my friend.”

Balin had seen how Dwalin had reacted when Thedra had admitted to spending the night with Thorin. Balin was growing concerned as he considered the deference Dwalin had shown the woman over the last few years. Dwalin had always be reserved, but now Balin fervently wished he had been more aware of the growing feelings his brother was clearly harboring for Thedra. But Balin was at a loss on how to broach the subject with Dwalin, so instead he clasped the warrior's arm. “Good luck, brother.”

Dwalin nodded once, then mounted his pony and was off.

*****

Thedra woke up to the sun pouring in her window. After sleeping in her room deep in a mountain for so long, it was still a little disorienting to be woken up by the daylight. But her bed was soft and the room snug, so she had little reason to complain. She sat up in her bed and pulled her hair into low knot at the base of her head. She had quickly found that wearing her hair loose and free was impractical in her new life, but she still steadfastly maintained the two braids Thorin had placed in her hair. Though she would never see any of the dwarven community again, she knew she would wear Thorin's braids until her dying day.

Thedra pulled out one of the dresses her aunt had given her a few weeks earlier. Though in some ways it still felt strange to not wear her fighting leathers or armor, she was gradually learning to enjoy the lighter fabric. When she was ready, she went down the first flight of stairs to the second floor below her bedroom, into the family's great room. Her aunt and uncle maintained a three-story house in the bustling center of Bree. The first floor was a sprawling shop, boasting the finest wares that her uncle's trade had procured. Now that Thedra had joined the family, Tomas' eldest son, Yonathan, was free to join his father on his travels. In the meantime, Thedra helped maintain the flourishing shop with her aunt, Morlissa, and her younger cousin, Idon.

When Thedra entered the room, her aunt smiled at her brightly. Morlissa was a handsome woman with straight black hair, tanned skin, and sparkling hazel eyes. She had been exceedingly warm and welcoming when Thedra had finally found their residence. Her two boys – Thedra's cousins – had inherited their mother's dark complexion and their father's blue eyes. The entire family had embraced Thedra's arrival with joy, and made her transition back into the life as a daughter of man much more tolerable than Thedra would have thought possible.

“Breakfast?” Morlissa smiled and motioned Thedra to take a seat.

Thedra inhaled the savory steam coming from the stove. “Thank you.”

After a hearty breakfast, Thedra joined her aunt in the shop. The day was particularly busy, but towards evening the door swung open, and Tomas and Yonathan entered the shop, followed by a tall young man with black hair and riding leathers.

“Welcome home, uncle, cousin.” Thedra smiled.

Tomas' smile went straight to his eyes. “Thedra! It is good to be home.” He turned to the man who had entered with him. “Allow me to introduce my new business partner – yet old friend – Ederan.”

The man seemed too young to be an 'old' friend, but at once, the man's name and dress made sense. “Dunedain?” Thedra asked.

Ederan gave her a slight nod. “And you must be the dwarf warrior who is not, in fact, a dwarf?” he asked with a small smile.

“Aye, once.” Before Thedra could say more, Morlissa came down the stairs to hug her husband and older son.

Morlissa turned to Ederan. “You will stay for supper, of course?”

Ederan smiled. “It would be my pleasure.”

As the group finished shutting up the shop for the night and made their way upstairs to the great room, Ederan turned to Thedra. “Your uncle has told me little about how you managed to find yourself serving the dwarf King in Exile. I imagine that would be an interesting tale.”

Thedra smiled lightly. “Probably about as interesting as how my uncle came to be close friends with a Dunadan.”

Ederan inclined his head. “We met many years ago - when your uncle was first looking for you after the destruction of Dale, in fact. He told me that there had been rumors that you may have joined the company of Thrain, but I privately thought his cause was hopeless. Nevertheless, he seemed so desperate to find you, that I made it a point to travel with him for a time on his way to the Iron Hills.”

“My uncle went to the Iron Hills to look for me?”

Ederan nodded. “He thought perhaps the dwarves of Erabor would have made their way towards their relations in the Iron Hills, though the last credible information he had received was that Thrain was moving east. He had hoped, at least, that even if Thrain hadn't brought his people to the Iron Hills, that his cousins could at least give more useful information about their current location.”

Thedra sat down at the table and motioned Ederan to sit with her. “What made you make the journey with him?”

“Curiosity, mostly.” Ederan picked up his fork and stabbed a potato on his plate. “As well as pity. The orc packs run free along the road to the Iron Hills. I did not wish to see your uncle dead so soon.”

While Thedra had known her uncle had searched for her for quite some time, she hadn't realized what kind of danger he had put himself in.

Ederan gazed at Thedra for a moment. “Now, tell me. How does a human girl become a member of the Kingsguard of the legendary Thorin Oakenshield?

Briefly, Thedra told her story from the destruction of Dale to her training at the Blue Mountains. She left out the more painful details, and fortunately the Dunadan did not pry. The group spent the rest of the evening in quiet conversation, enjoying the warming food and fine wine.

*****

Ederan came by the shop every day while Tomas was in town, and Thedra found she enjoyed talking to the Dunadan. She had been unsure at first as to why a ranger would spend so much time with a trader, but it was clear to Thedra that the two men were fast and true friends, and that the ranger clearly enjoyed traveling to the farthest pockets of Middle Earth while her uncle secured the best trade agreements.

Thedra was in the back room when she heard the door open. She was folding bolts of cloths when the new arrival spoke to her aunt, and she froze.

“Pardon me, my lady, but I'm looking for a young woman by the name of Thedra,” Dwalin said to Morlissa.

Morlissa eyed the dwarf warily. Thedra had warned her aunt that some of the dwarves might be looking for her, and that she did not want to go back with them. Thedra never told her aunt or uncle her reasoning, and they did not pry. “I'm sorry, she is not here.”

Dwalin heard the hesitation in her voice. His own voice softened in response. “Then you do know Thedra...you are her aunt?”

Morlissa nodded, “I am.”

Dwalin took a few steps closer, his pain clearly evident to Morlissa. “Would you be able to tell me where she is?”

Morlissa hesitated again, Dwalin noticed. She glanced behind to the room in which Thedra was hiding. “I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss her whereabouts.”

Dwalin's senses sharpened. _Could Thedra be in that very room?_ He laid his hand on the counter top, and chose his words carefully. “If you will see her again soon, will you be so kind as to give her a message for me?”

“Of course.”

Dwalin closed his eyes, willing himself to speak the words out loud that he found so painful in the dark. “Please tell her she is missed...greatly missed. Her friends know she left as a point of honor, but the truth remains that we are less for her absence. She cannot know the hole she has left...or the pain that those who...those who love her most suffer now.”

Thedra leaned back against the wall, scarcely able to breathe. Of course she knew she would be missed, but she never considered how Dwalin in particular might react, given his deep feelings for her. _After all of this time, I am still an ignorant, selfish friend_ , she cursed herself.

Dwalin continued, lifting his head and settling a level gaze at Morlissa. “We dwarves are a stubborn race, and many call us greedy. They would not be incorrect. But our greed does not end at gold and riches alone. We value our companions greatly, and do not let them slip from our grasps with such ease. Thedra has evaded us for a time...but I fear she underestimates how far we will go and how long we will look until we find the one that we have lost...the one that we have held so dear.”

Thedra lowered her head and left out a low sigh. She knew Dwalin spoke the truth. She had to put an end to this, now.

Stepping into the light, she entered the main room. “Dwalin.”

Dwalin lifted his eyes to her, obviously not surprised to see her standing before him. “Lass,” he whispered quietly.

Switching to Khuzdul, Thedra walked toward him a few steps. “How did you find me?”

Dwalin gave her a small smile, and matched her tongue. “I trained you, lass. You knew better than to tell Kili where you were actually heading.”

Thedra inclined her head. “I thought hiding in plain sight might have been the best choice. Clearly I underestimated you all.”

“Not all, Thedra. Thorin is well on his way to Lond Daer.” Dwalin left the counter, and closed the steps between himself and Thedra. “But he is an intelligent man, and will figure out where you truly have gone soon enough.” He drew himself up and stared deeply into her face. “And then he will come here. What will you do then, lass, when your king comes to order you home?”

Thedra recognized Dwalin's tactic – his attempt to appeal to her as a warrior sworn to Thorin's service. “I am human,” she replied softly, trying not to rise to his bait. “He has no jurisdiction over me here.”

“Human,” he repeated slowly. Then Dwalin grasped her shoulders suddenly, causing Morlissa to gasp. “You speak our language, and fight with our skills. I remember a time when you stood in front of a mountain and claimed your human blood was 'an accident of birth'. You even wear the braids _of our king_ in your hair!” He paused, and dropped his voice to a darker tone. “If this all has meant so little to you, then have the decency to sever our bonds with honor...and undo my braid first.”

Thedra had been speechless during Dwalin's tirade, but when he challenged her to undo his braid, her rage broke over her in waves. Grabbing his arms in return, she suddenly slammed him up against the wall of the shop. “Do you think I want to do this? Do you think I enjoy the choice I made? More than anything – _anything_ – I want to remain with you, but this isn't about me, Dwalin!” Her voice faltered, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. “You and I both swore an oath to serve Thorin and his people...but sometimes the best service is not the easiest.”

Thedra let go of Dwalin and stepped back. Dwalin instantly closed the distance again, determined not to let her get away. “You don't have to remind me of my duty to my king or my people...we have all made sacrifices we never thought we would need to make before the dragon came. But are you incapable of entertaining the possibility that perhaps your choice just might not be the correct one?”

Thedra looked away.

Dwalin's voice softened. “Lass, no one doubts your intentions, but you have to remember: you're not in this alone. Thorin is surrounded by friends and warriors who are sworn to protect him. Together, we can figure a way through any crisis.”

“This just isn't any crisis, as you know full well,” Thedra snapped.

Dwalin's face darkened. “Don't flatter yourself. There are many more important issues at stake than Thorin's bedroom affairs.”

Thedra swung at Dwalin, but her punch barely grazed Dwalin's jaw as he twisted to avoid her. Before she could follow through with a second swing, she halted with a start at the sight of a silver blade suddenly pressed to the dwarf's throat.

“It seems you have upset my good friend, dwarf,” a low voice drawled in the Common Tongue. “That...displeases me.”

Ederan stepped into view, never lowering his knife.


	27. A Common Goal

Chest heaving, Thedra tried to swallow her anger before the situation spiraled out of control. She raised her hand to Ederan. “Please, my friend...he's no threat to me.”

Ederan paused for a moment, then lowered his blade slowly. “Who is this dwarf to you?”

Sighing harshly, Thedra put her hands on her hips and dropped her head wearily. “Actually...he's my best friend,” she replied, looking up.

Ederan looked subtly shocked for a moment, then let out a bark of laughter. “Best friend, eh? I would hate to meet your enemies.”

Thedra forced a small smile for the sake of Ederan and Morlissa; the latter had remained glued to the floor in shock as Thedra's and Dwalin's encounter became physical. She turned back to Dwalin. “Dwalin, this Ederan – my uncle's business partner. Ederan, this is Dwalin. Master of Arms for the King of the Blue Mountains.”

Ederan lifted an eyebrow. “The King in Exile sends one of his top warriors after you, Thedra? What are we to make of that?”

“Whatever you'd like,” Thedra replied dismissively.

Now that Ederan's knife was away from his throat, Dwalin relaxed slightly, but didn't take his eyes of the Dunadan. “King Thorin did not take the disappearance of one of his best warriors well. I'm here to bring her home.”

Finally, Morlissa found her voice. “Forgive me for contradicting you, sir, but this is Thedra's home now.”

Thedra offered her aunt a small smile. “It's alright, aunt.” She hooked her arm through Dwalin's. “If you'll excuse us, Dwalin and I have much to discuss.” With that, she took the dwarf out into the street and the approaching dusk.

*****

Thorin stood in blazing sun staring out at the blackened ruins of Lond Daer. The weeds grew thick around the remains of the port town, and not a soul was in sight. He ground his teeth to keep from letting out a howl of frustration. Clearly, Thedra had misled Kili, and therefore himself as well.

Thorin climbed back on his pony and turned toward Tharbad. He knew he should return to the Blue Mountains, but he couldn't stomach the idea of abandoning his search for Thedra. He bent his steps instead towards the place he should have checked first – Bree.

*****

Thedra knew Dwalin was unhappy that she still refused to return to the Blue Mountains, but he finally agreed to stay a few nights at the local inn rather than returning to Thorin with her location. As she was leaving the building, she saw a tall, dark figure standing across the street before her.

“I hope you haven't been waiting too long for me,” she said to the shadowed figure.

Ederan stepped into the moonlight. “I take it he didn't take your refusal any better this evening.”

Thedra fell into step with the Dunadan. “No, he did not.” She sighed heavily. “He was right about one thing – I didn't take into consideration how stubborn my friends would be about my leaving. I had assumed after so hard many in the community had resisted my inclusion in the Blue Mountains, that most of them would be...relieved, at least...to see me gone.”

“What will you do now?”

Thedra had no easy answer. “I can't return to the Blue Mountains. But if I remain here, Thorin will find me. I need a third option, it seems.”

Ederan smiled slightly. “Let me give you one. Come with your uncle and I when we leave tomorrow.”

Thedra hadn't ever considered traveling with Tomas, Yonathan, and Ederan. “I'm not sure that I could. My aunt depends on me in the shop now that Yonathan travels with his father.”

The two turned the corner and walked down the street towards Tomas' house. “Tomas has told me he now regrets taking Yonathan with him at such a young age. He's been looking for a way to have Yonathan remain at home to study more before bringing him out again. You could take Yonathan's place.”

Thedra nodded slowly. “It is possible,” she conceded.

As they strode up the steps the door, Ederan continued. “We leave at first light for Rivendell.” He shot Thedra a smirk. “And I can't think of many destinations more distasteful to your dwarven friends than the land of elves.”

*****

That night, Thedra struggled with the letter she intended to leave at Dwalin's inn. She had no doubt now that he could very well track her to Rivendell, so instead of stealth she would need to rely on persuasion.

_My dear Dwalin,_

_By the time you read this, I will have departed for Rivendell with my uncle and friend. I know now that I cannot hide or outrun you, so my only hope is that this letter will convince you, finally, that this is for the best._

_You alone know the truth about my feelings for Thorin; perhaps even more so than he does himself. I cannot bear the possibility of becoming the downfall of the man I love most in the world. I struggled for so long to be one with your people, but in the end, my efforts to get closer to you will only cause hardships – hardships that I know I can prevent, but only if I take these actions now._

_My feelings for you, for Thorin, and for the rest of my friends have not changed. I realize now the pain that my absence has caused, but I am convinced that it is lesser than the alternative. I will never be able to put into words how much you all have meant to me; I will never be able to convey how happy I am for the part of my life that I have shared with you._

_Please honor our friendship one last time, and obey my wishes: do not come after me._

_I will hold you all dearly in my heart, for as long as I draw breath._

_By Mahal's grace, may your beards grow ever longer,_

_Thedra_

*****

Thedra, Ederan, and Tomas had spent a week in Rivendell. The flowing architecture of the elves was a stark contrast to the bold lines she was accustomed to in the Blue Mountains, but Thedra found that she appreciated the style in its own way.

The negotiating style of the elves was quite different than anything she had seen with either dwarves or men. Everything was so polite, it was hard to even identify it as negotiating at all. But in spite of the differences, Thedra enjoyed the change of scenery and the additional rest the trip had afforded.

As mid-afternoon approached on the ninth day, a rider approached Rivendell at top speed. His horse was near collapse, his coat covered in sweat and grime. He headed straight towards Tomas.

“An epidemic has struck Bree.” The man hesitated. “Idon is one of the sick.”

*****

The days passed in a blur as Tomas, Ederan, and Thedra sped home. Tomas said nothing, just sat on his horse, white-faced and worried. When the trio finally entered the town, the roads were deathly silent. The sickness that had infested the town had taken root quickly, and many of the younger children had fallen ill.

Morlissa didn't look up as they entered the house. She was sitting on the bed, with Idon's head in her lap.

Tomas knelt down and stroked his son's face. He frowned. “He's ice cold.” Standing, he gazed around the room. “Yet there is a good fire and plenty of blankets.” He looked back at Ederan and Thedra. “I've seen this before.”

Morlissa closed her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered, softly.

Thedra shifted uncomfortably. “What is it? Is there a cure?”

Tomas sat down on the bed next to his wife. “We called it the Ice Sickness back in Lake-town. It would run through the community every few years. Most caught it when they were young – fortunately, in most cases, it is not fatal in children.” He had a dead, far-off look in his eyes. “However, those who caught it in later years were often not so lucky. I fear for the adults in this community. To my knowledge, Bree has never dealt with this pestilence before.”

Ederan stepped forward. “Can anything be done?”

Tomas pressed a hand to his weary eyes. “In the past, we watched and waited. We did what we could with blankets. The healer in Lake-town was working on other treatment methods, but I don't know if she ever found anything more substantial.”

The Dunadan nodded. “Where is this healer in Lake-town? I will go to her.”

Tomas stared at Ederan. “That is a long journey, my friend, especially through Mirkwood.”

“Which is why I shall leave this moment. Tell me anything you can about this woman, and I will be off.”

Briefly, Tomas told Ederan what he knew. As Ederan prepared to leave, Thedra handed him a pouch of dried food and two waterskins. “Be safe, my friend.”

He looked thoughtfully at Thedra for a moment. “You as well, Thedra. Do not overtax yourself in helping the others; though you were raised as a dwarf, you are still the daughter of a man. You are still vulnerable as well.”

With that, Ederan swung his cloak over his shoulders, and led his horse to the gate of the East-West road. Before he could kick his mount into a gallop, he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

“Dunadan.” Dwalin approached on his pony, ready to travel. “You go for help?” he asked.

Ederan nodded. “Tomas informs me there may be a healer in Lake-town with knowledge that may save these people.”

“The road to Lake-town is treacherous in stretches.” Dwalin patted his war hammers attached to his saddle. “I will go with you.”

Ederan cocked an eyebrow at the dwarf, then offered him a half-smile. “Then you have forgiven me for pressing a knife to your neck?”

Dwalin snorted. “You were protecting your friend...who is also my friend. We have a common goal, ranger.”

Ederan nodded again. “As you wish, dwarf. I will appreciate the company.”

With that, the pair was off.


	28. Pledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had so much fun this week finally catching up with this fanfic! As the end of this story is drawing to a close and the ending is clearer to me, I have updated the tags for this work, and upped the rating to accommodate some of the, er, steamier, chapters about to come down. Thanks again for all of the comments and kudos - this is the first fanfic I've ever published, so I really appreciate the feedback and support!

The next week was harrowing. Many of the citizens of Bree fell ill, in spite of the quarantine measures put into effect soon after the infection arrived. Thedra and Morlissa remained inside of their home; Morlissa cared for Idon in his room, and Thedra kept Yonathan with herself on the second floor. Tomas had helped set up an infirmary a few blocks away, and remained there to avoid risking his own family further. While Morlissa cared for her youngest son, Thedra and Yonathan cooked constantly for their neighbors and passed out what supplies they could, carefully passing bowls of stew and boxes of items through a downstairs window.

On the seventh evening, Thedra wearily made her way to her room, thoroughly worn-out from standing over the stove for the last few days. She pulled her blanket tightly around her in the dark, and shivered.

When Thedra didn't go downstairs the next morning to help Yonathan with breakfast, Morlissa knocked gently at Thedra's door. There was no answer. Morlissa opened the door, but did not go in.

Thedra was unconscious in her bed – pale, and shivering.

*****

Yonathan remained in the kitchen that afternoon, doing his best to continue cooking for his family and the few neighbors they could help. There was an urgent knock on the door. Yonathan leaned out the window and yelled down to the short, hooded figure below. “Go to the back! We can pass food to you there!”

The hooded figure looked up, and Yonathan saw him to be a dwarf – but not the same one who had come to find his cousin a few weeks prior.

The dwarf spoke. “I have not come for food. I am looking for a young woman by the name of Thedra. I was told I could find her relations here.”

By this time, Morlissa had heard the commotion and had come down the steps. “Yonathan, stay here.” She descended to the next level and opened the door to the visitor. Thorin stepped across the threshold.

“I hear there is illness in town,” he said with concern as he lowered his hood.

Morlissa nodded. “Indeed. You are in no danger, master dwarf, but many are affected.” She hesitated a moment, taking in the finery of the dwarf's clothing and hair clasps. _Could this be the dwarf king Thedra had spoken of?_ “Did Dwalin send you here?”

Thorin's eyes sharpened in interest. “Dwalin was here?”

“I believe he left as soon as the sickness arrived. If he did not go to you, then he may have traveled with my husband's friend to Lake-town, to seek the advice of their healer.”

Thorin digested this information silently for a moment. “Forgive me, I have not introduced myself,” he intoned finally. “I am Thorin, son of Thrain. Thedra is a member of my guard and one of my most trusted advisors. I am desperate to find her.”

“She is upstairs,” Morlissa said slowly. Before Thorin could turn towards the stairs, Morlissa's hand caught his arm. The color drained from his face as she continued. “Your majesty, I am so sorry...but Thedra has fallen ill as well.”

Thorin felt numb as he followed Morlissa up to Thedra's room. The bedroom was warm, and Thedra was covered with three blankets. But when Thorin reached out to caress her cheek, his fingers were met with a startling coldness. He turned to Morlissa. “Is there no cure, no treatment at all?”

Morlissa shook her head sadly. “All we can do for now is try to keep her as warm as possible.” She drew in a ragged breath. “I pray that Ederan returns with more information, and soon, and that my niece and son can be saved.”

Thorin noticed the black rings around Thedra's aunt's eyes. “Your son is ill as well?” he asked gently.

Morlissa nodded, no longer able to speak.

“Go to him. I give you my word, I will not stir from Thedra's side until she is well.”

Morlissa hesitated for a moment, then nodded once. “I thank you, your majesty.” She stopped before closing the door. “I will keep Yonathan in the main room, and the rest of us will all remain upstairs. Come to my door if you require anything else.”

Thorin inclined his head in agreement, then closed Thedra's door. As he turned back to the woman's bed, he felt his heart breaking in two. She appeared so small – smaller even than she had after her exile from the mountain. He knelt down beside her and pushed a wisp of hair from her forehead. When he saw his braids still her hair, he clamped his eyes shut, willing the tears not to come. _This cannot be happening. Oh, Mahal, this cannot be the end._ He opened his eyes and let his fingers trace down Thedra's ear and jaw. “Thedra,” he whispered hoarsely. “Thedra, it is I, Thorin.” He lowered his lips to her cheek briefly. “I have come to take care of you, dearest.”

As Thorin gazed at Thedra, it was apparent that the fire and blankets were of little use. With her body so cold on its own, the blankets merely insulated her at the same temperature, rather than trapping any warmth under its weight. What she needed was a heat source – one much closer to her than her fireplace could be.

Slowly, Thorin stripped off his armor and outer clothing until he wore only his smallclothes. He then pulled back Thedra's blanket and removed her nightshift as well, until she was similarly attired as he. He eased himself into her bed, and pulled her chilled body close to his chest. He repressed a shiver as her cold skin made contact with his torso, and pulled the blankets back up around them both.

Thorin pressed his face into her hair, listening to the soft sound of her breath in his ear. His arms closed around her small frame, and he ran his hands up and down her back and shoulders as he willed the warmth to spread into her body. “Thedra,” he whispered again, over and over. “Thedra, my love, do not leave me.”

*****

Thorin woke in the early hours, the room a dull gray as the first few rays of sun began to touch the sky. He ran his hand over Thedra's skin. _Warmer_ , he realized with a touch of hope. Thedra was still unconscious as he trailed his fingers up her neck and into her hair. “Thedra, my love...can you hear me?” he whispered quietly.

Thedra sighed in her sleep, but did not answer. As Thorin gazed into her face, barely illuminated by the waking sun, he knew there was no longer any point in either lying to himself, or keeping it from her. “I love you, dearest,” he said softly. “Please, you must wake up. I am here, and we will never be parted again.”

As the sun rose, Thorin continued to whisper to Thedra's sleeping form. He spoke of his love, his need for her, and what their future together would be when she recovered.

*****

Thedra felt surprisingly warm, and could hear the soft thud of a heartbeat close to her ear. She tried to open her eyes, but it was too hard. Sleep was much nicer, so she let out a small sigh, and dreamed.

_She was back in the Blue Mountains, but no longer wore her armor. She was dressed in the most beautiful gown she had ever seen, and her head felt slightly heavy as she adjusted to the weight of the small crown she now wore. In the next moment, she was in the king's quarters, and Thorin had quickly enveloped her in his arms. His lips were warm and solid against her mouth, and in one movement he lifted her and carried her to his bed. As he leaned over her, she could feel the heat of his body radiating through the fabric of her dress. His hair fell in soft curtains around her face as he lowered his lips to her ear. She felt a thrill run through her skin as he whispered his love over and over again..._

Her eyes were trying to open again. It was light out, she could tell. Vaguely, she seemed to remember that she was supposed to be doing something important. She turned her head slightly, pressing her face more firmly into the warmth surrounding her. Her mouth brushed against bare skin, with a slight scent that at once seemed so familiar.

She wanted to fall back asleep, but she remembered now she needed to go down to the second floor so that she could cook for Thorin. _Cook for Thorin? No, that doesn't make sense. No, I need to cook for my aunt and cousins._ Her eyes finally opened for a moment, but she couldn't focus on anything. Her blankets were so warm and heavy, she just wanted to sleep for a few minutes longer.

But her blankets never felt so heavy before. With a renewed effort, she opened her eyes again and pulled her head back slightly, noting the strong arms embracing her. She looked up, stunned, into Thorin's sleeping face.

_Am I still dreaming?_ she thought dimly. She lifted her hand – it took far greater effort than it normally did - and traced a line down his jaw and onto his chest. _Warm. Real._

At her touch, Thorin awoke. He stared, startled, for a moment into Thedra's eyes, then pulled her into the tightest embrace, feathering her face with fervent kisses. “Thedra...oh, my dearest one, you are alive...”

“Thorin?” she whispered. “What happened, why are you here?”

“You fell ill, dearest. I arrived shortly after.”

It all came rushing back to Thedra. “My cousin, Idon? Is he well?”

Thorin nodded. “It did not affect him so severely as he is still young. He is recovering downstairs with your family.”

Thedra sighed, and pressed her face back into Thorin's warm chest. She couldn't deny how wonderful it felt to be back in his embrace. His large, strong hands ran up and down her back slowly, gently. Even in her weakened state, the soft touch of his fingertips on her skin inflamed her. She let out a soft sigh, and let her lips travel over his chest, kissing him lightly. Thorin moved even closer to her, and she could feel the large bulge in his smallclothes pressing against her stomach. Thorin lowered his lips to hers, and kissed her most tenderly. 

“I dreamed of you,” she murmured softly, in between kisses.

Thorin trailed his hands up her back and through her soft tresses. “What did you dream, dearest?” he asked, as he kissed her nose and brow.

Thedra blushed slightly. “I dreamt I was the most loved woman in the world. I dreamt that I was your queen,” she admitted quietly.

Thedra felt Thorin smile against her forehead before he looked down into her eyes. “You are; and you will be,” he responded in answer to both of her statements.

It took all of Thedra's will to pull away. “Thorin, I-,” she started softly, but he claimed her lips again with his own in a heart-drowning kiss.

When he finally broke their kiss, Thedra was breathless. Thorin cupped her face with his hand, and looked deeply into her eyes. “Thedra – my dearest, my love. You are my One. All that I have and all that I am, is yours. I swear to always provide for you, for your protection and pleasure.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I pledge myself to you from this day, until my last.”


	29. Line of Succession

Dwalin and Ederan returned a few weeks later, their mounts laden with sacks of medicinal plants. The healer of Lake-town had found a plant that treated the Ice Sickness, and the denizens of Bree were quick to distribute the plants and quash the illness. As the days went by, the city slowly returned to normal as the sickness faded away. Bree mourned those who were not so fortunate; once the dead were buried, the city eventually turned its attention back to its usual pursuits.

Thedra still woke every morning, doubting that what had happened between her and Thorin was truly real. But every morning she found that he was still in her bed, having slipped into her room each night after the rest of the household had gone to sleep. Each evening, Thedra lost herself in his arms, dazed by his murmurs of love and affection.

This last night in Bree was no different. Thorin silently closed her and door lowered himself into her waiting arms. As he pulled back her blanket, a ghost of a smile played across his lips as he took in her naked form. “Impatient tonight, my love?” he whispered teasingly.

“Always, my king,” she replied quietly. Every night thus far, Thorin and Thedra had touched, teased, and kissed each other...but never going any further. At first, Thedra assumed Thorin was giving her ample time to recover, but tonight - their last night alone for some time - tonight she was indeed impatient for more.

As Thorin drew back from his kiss, Thedra ran her hand down his chest to the fabric at his waist. She gently pulled his smallclothes loose, freeing his erect manhood.

“Thedra...” Thorin started, but before he could say more, Thedra had slid down the bed and began pressing her lips to his abdomen, just above the thick triangle of hair between his thighs. He let out a low groan as Thedra drew her fingertips lightly up his leg, inching ever closer to his throbbing need.

Thedra continued kissing and teasing his sensitive skin everywhere – everywhere except the one place where he desperately needed her to touch. He let out another moan of frustration, and finally, felt Thedra's impossibly soft lips trail gently down his pillar while her fingers began to trace lightly over the thin skin of his stones.

When she finally took him into her mouth, he nearly cried out in relief. She moved slowly, tentatively at first, but Thorin had been so aroused for so long that his peak was coming quickly. “Thedra...” he whispered in a quiet warning, but she kept her lips around him as he reached his climax.

As he relaxed and his breathing slowed, Thedra returned to his embrace, occasionally dropping gentle kisses against his chest and shoulders. “You've always given me my pleasure, but I've never given you yours. I wanted to change that.”

Thorin pulled her closer to his chest and sighed contentedly. “You owe me nothing, my love. Being with you every day is all the reward I could ever need.” His eyes flashed mischievously. “But speaking of pleasure, I believe it is your turn.”

Thedra grinned as Thorin rolled her over onto her back. He let his hand roam over her chest and stomach, savoring her soft curves and silky skin. As his hand drifted slowly downwards, she parted her legs, anticipating his touch.

“So eager,” he whispered huskily. It was like this every night...and just like the first night he had found her in her tent. His blood rose as he pulled her blanket away, revealing her wholly to him. Her skin was warm, and the light of the fireplace illuminated both her curves and the faint glisten of moisture between her thighs. He touched her there lightly, enjoying the slick feel of her arousal. “Tell me...how much do you desire me?”

“Oh, Thorin...” she whispered, parting her legs even wider. “I need you, my king...” Thorin dipped his finger slowly inside of her, and she quivered. “Please...more...”

Thorin chuckled softly. “Ah, my love...soon, you will have it all, I promise you.” He withdrew his finger and raised it lightly to the small bundle of nerves that he so often touched at night. He moved in slow circles, applying just the right amount of pressure. “When we are married, I will give you every pleasure you're due...as my queen.”

“Married?” Thedra whispered softly through her sighs. Though Thorin had pledged his love, this was the first time he'd brought up their future since the night she had woken up from her illness. She had written off his statements then as relief over her recovery. But before she could even think to protest, his movements between her legs had recaptured her full attention.

Thedra's pleasure was mounting. She threw her head back and closed her eyes. But before she reached completion, Thorin stopped suddenly and sat up. Without a sound, he wrapped his arms under her legs, and moved her to the edge of the bed. He knelt down between her parted thighs, and let out a slow, warm breath across her mound. Thedra shuddered at the sensation, her body aching for his renewed touch. But instead of his hand as she had expected, he lowered his mouth to her body. She felt his tongue sweep across her most sensitive point, and the sudden change in pressure and tempo about had her undone.

He kissed her deeply, gently, moving his tongue in a steady rhythm. He felt her hand slip underneath his head, and growled as she inserted one of her own fingers inside of herself. He pulled back and grasped both of her hands quickly, lifting them back above her head. He leveled a smirk at her as he grabbed her discarded smallclothes from the edge of the bed. “Your pleasure tonight will be my doing, and my doing alone,” he murmured in a low voice. With two quick moves, he had tied her wrists to the headboard with the fabric he had snagged.

Thedra's eyes widened first in shock, then closed again in pleasure as she felt his body move down hers again. He knelt before her once more, and Thedra could only watch helplessly as he traced his hands over her stomach and legs. She raised her hips in an effort to make contact with him, but he pulled away, just out of her reach. “Please, my king...oh, please...”

Thorin smiled. “Beg for me, my dearest.” He leaned over again, his lips mere inches from the juncture of her thighs. “Tell me that you are mine.”

Thedra was wild with need. “My king...oh, my king. My body is yours...please...please, take me...”

Thorin resumed his attentions. As Thedra again came close to her peak, he slipped his own finger gently back inside of her, carefully. As he did so, Thedra gasped. “Oh yes, please, my king...I need...I need...”

He moved his finger slowly out and in, as far as he dared, when he finally felt Thedra's legs shutter, and the delightful sensation of her slick walls contracting around his hand. He stilled his movements, letting her ride out her waves in pleasure with no further distraction. When she finally relaxed, he slowly began to withdraw, but Thedra wrapped her legs around his shoulders quickly. “No! Please, stay inside of me, my king. Please?”

Thorin stood up but left his hand in place. Never breaking eye contact, he moved up the bed to lay down beside his love. Her hands were still tied above her head, and he had to admit he enjoyed his continued dominance over her body. He knew she enjoyed it as well, as she always found her pleasure quickly and more deeply when he laid such a claim on her.

He moved his finger slightly, enjoying the sudden jump he elicited from her over-sensitized body. He then trailed his mouth over her pert nipples, causing Thedra to moan softly and struggle slightly against her arm restraints. “Do you wish to be released?” he asked seriously.

Thedra closed her eyes and smiled. “I only wish for you to do with me as you will, my king,” she whispered back. She opened her eyes and gave him a coy glaze. “That, and to be one with you. Truly one with you.”

Thorin knew what she was asking, but had promised himself to respect her maidenhead until their wedding night. He would not shame his future queen – nor would he deny himself the pleasure of prolonging her desire. He lifted his head and kissed her on the mouth deeply, moving his finger once more, with Thedra spreading her legs wide yet again. He pulled back, noting her eyes were filled with heated longing. He absolutely adored her obvious need for him. “In a few weeks' time, we shall be just that. But not until we are married. I will not take your maidenhead until we are rightly joined in the eyes of Mahal and the Mountains.”

Thedra sighed, torn between her immediate desires and the consequences of what he was planning. “My king,” she began slowly. “We...we cannot marry, my love...though I desperately wish it could be so,” she finished softly.

Thorin stilled his hand, looking with concern into her face. “You are pledged to me, and I to you. There is nothing else more natural.”

“My love...your kingdom, your people...they will not understand this. This...this must stay between us.”

Thorin quieted Thedra's protests with another tender kiss. “I cannot imagine living my life without proclaiming my love from the top of the mountains.” He moved down and turned his attentions to her breasts. “I cannot imagine hiding my incredible good fortune in winning the love of the most beautiful woman in all of Middle Earth.” He moved even lower and Thedra closed her eyes. “I cannot imagine living another day without everyone knowing that you are mine,” he whispered before kissing her intimately once again.

*****

Thorin, Thedra, and Dwalin started out for the Blue Mountains early in the morning. After such a close brush with death, she could no longer stomach the thought of remaining away from Thorin – especially now that she knew his feelings matched her own.

However, Thedra was still very concerned about both the threat she had received at the Green Crossing, and now Thorin's insistence that she would marry him and become his queen. Thedra would be satisfied to just be his lover, living quietly in the shadows of his kingdom. It was amazing how the prospect of her own demise could change her perspective so quickly – a few months ago she had bristled at Dwalin's inference that she was Thorin's consort; now she thought that would be the most elegant solution.

If Dwalin had any knowledge of the change in Thorin's and Thedra's relationship, he made no hint of it. As they bedded down each night on their trip home, the three opted to sleep out in the open around the campfire. The journey home was finally the easy one they had all anticipated months ago in the Green Crossing. The weather was fine, and the three friends fell back into their ways easily. The only tension was the yearnings both Thedra and Thorin felt at being parted at night for so long. When they finally returned to the Blue Mountains, Thedra quickly found Thorin in her bedchamber, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his mouth insistent.

“My love,” she breathed as he edged her towards her bed. With deft hands, he unclasped her armor quickly and threw it aside. In the next moment, she was on the bed and he was on top of her, yanking her clothing off and nipping playfully at her ear and collarbone. Thedra moaned with need, and pulled his tunic off so that she could touch his flesh.

Pulling back, Thorin made quick work of his own trousers as Thedra discarded her smallclothes. When they were both nude, Thedra raised her hands above her head and placed them by the headboard with a shy smile. Thorin caught the hint and tied up her hands. But this time, he grabbed second length of fabric and blindfolded her as well. 

Thedra shivered in anticipation. Thorin eased off her, but leaned close to her ear. “I want you to focus completely on my touch,” he murmured. For hours, it seemed, Thorin teased her body...lightly grazing his lips and hands all over her skin...coming close to but never quite touching her most sensitive areas. She was shaking and begging him plaintively for more when he finally swirled his tongue around her erect nipples while he gently stroked the soft, tender sides of her breasts.

As he lifted his head from her chest, he reached up and removed her blindfold. Her legs were quivering, and evidence of her arousal was more than apparent. But instead of moving lower, Thorin leaned back, resting between her legs. He took his own arousal in hand, and began to stroke himself. “Watch me,” he commanded quietly.

Enthralled, Thedra watched as her lover and her king pleasured himself over her. As his passion rose, all she could think about was how close his manhood was to her own sex. “Please, my king...please, find your pleasure in me...” she whispered urgently.

Thorin groaned and pumped his hand faster. Thedra slowly wrapped her legs around his thighs, gently urging him closer.

Thorin was tempted. Oh, he was so tempted. But he maintained his resolve and found his pleasure without. His seed spilled warmly on her abdomen, and Thedra sighed.

After a moment, Thorin stood up and moved to retrieve a cloth from her wash basin. “Wait,” she called softly. “Leave it...leave it until I'm done.”

Thorin gave her a small smile and gently untied her wrists. He sat down again between her legs as she slowly started to touch herself. As she manipulated her own body, Thorin lazily caressed her thighs, reaching dangerously close to the junction of her arse still visible from the bed. As her peak approached, he marveled at the wetness he had caused between her legs. _She desires me so._

Thedra cried out as her pleasure took her, and Thorin ran his hand over her hips as she shuddered. When she was done, she drew one finger through the wetness he had left on her stomach. “How much longer will you make me wait, my king?”

Thorin gently wiped away his seed and returned the cloth to her basin. He laid down next to her and drew her close. “Name the day we are to be married, and it will be done.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her brow.

Thedra sighed. “My king...Thorin. Thorin, I meant what I said in Bree. Marrying me would be disastrous for you and your kingdom. I cannot be your wife...or your queen.”

Thorin rolled to his side and caressed Thedra's face. “I understand your worries, Thedra. But I have had quite a lot of time to think about my future.” His eyes searched hers, the seriousness of his words evident in his gaze. “I have weighed these options, and these consequences. And I have decided that your love is worth the hardship and risk.”

Thedra desperately wanted to believe him. “Thorin...I want to be with you more than anything in my life. But I'm terrified of being the means of undoing everything you have worked so hard to maintain since your father's death.” She grasped his hand and encased it in both of her own. “My love for you will never change. I can be your wife, your friend, or your lover. I will give it all to you, freely, no matter my title. Would not the safer option be for me to remain your consort, and out of the public eye?”

Thorin sneered at the notion. “I will not hide our relationship like it is something to be ashamed of. You are the most honorable and courageous woman I have known, and my people can accept you as such, or leave.”

“You'd be setting a dangerous precedent, my king. And...Thorin...you forget that we already do hide our relationship...because we know what we do now is something that needs to be hidden,” Thedra finished grimly.

Thorin closed his eyes, weighing her words. She was right in the fact that he was unwilling to let their lovemaking become public now, but that was only because he believed it to be short-lived. Soon, she would be his wife and queen, and he could show his affection for her whenever he damn well pleased. But...if he were to follow her advice, and keep her merely as his consort...

No. He couldn't stomach the possibility of this current arrangement becoming permanent.

“I won't deny that the road ahead us is easy, my dearest. But I am convinced it is the right road for us to take. I will not force you into a marriage while you still have doubts, but I will go no further with our physical relationship until...until the day I can do it with honor.”

*****

Thedra hadn't truly realized how much she had missed the Mountains until she found herself in the sparing hall again. The last few months seemed like someone else's life; now that she was home she felt like all the rest had just been a stressful dream.

The weeks passed, and autumn arrived. Thedra enjoyed her renewed position in the Kingsguard, especially as it led to a constant closeness with Thorin. Most every day they found a few minutes to slip away together, be it to one of their rooms or a quiet corner in Thorin's study. But to Thorin's chagrin, Thedra still made no move to solidify their relationship with marriage.

Late one evening, Thorin motioned Dwalin and Balin into his study. As he sat down with his closest advisors, he let out a low sigh. “My friends...I have something of great importance to discuss with you. Something that I need your absolute secrecy on for the time being.”

Dwalin furrowed his brow, and Balin nodded once.

Thorin stood up again and began to pace. “I wish to discuss...the line of succession.”

Balin inclined his head. “You have named your nephews as your heirs. Your people adore the lads. The line of succession is secure.”

Thorin turned around. “As you know, I have not sought a wife. With the struggles our people have had to overcome since our exile from Erabor, I felt it more important to use my hands to provide for our community, rather than my family name.” He turned back towards the window. “I imagined my sister's sons would rise to take my place, and I gave no more thought to providing heirs of my own.”

“It is your choice, of course, Thorin,” Balin replied steadily.

Slowly, Thorin turned to his companions. “My wishes and plans for the line of succession have not changed...however...must I be alone?”

Dwalin looked away.

Balin stared at Thorin, not comprehending. “Your majesty...you wish to marry, but not have your own bairns as heirs?”

Thorin held his gaze. “What if my wife – my queen – was unable to carry my child?”

Balin opened his mouth again, then closed it as he finally understood. Finally, he spoke. “You mean to ask: what if your wife – your queen – was not a dwarf?” he replied quietly.

Thorin turned back to the window, and said nothing.

Balin stood up and walked towards Thorin. “How far has this gone between you and Thedra?” he asked quietly.

Thorin hung his head.

Dwalin could stand no more. He shot up out of his chair and before Balin or Thorin could say anything more, he stormed out of the room.


	30. Blood Oath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feedback, and sorry to be MIA! Long story short, I had a great job opportunity drop into my life unexpectedly about a month or so ago, and had to take it. But because I didn't want to leave my previous employer in a bind, I've had the unenviable task of working two jobs at once over the last few weeks. But, finally, my responsibilities at my old job are ending, so I'm back! Thanks for your patience, and enjoy!

Dis could barely keep her hand from shaking as she gripped her fork. She was seated at a small table in her brother's study, as they shared a private dinner. _This is a dream_ , she thought. _This is a terrible dream, and I need to wake up._

But she did not wake up. She glowered at the food in front of her and made no move to take another bite.

Thorin sighed almost inaudibly. He knew he should not be surprised by his sister's reaction...but at the same time, he had held on to the irrational hope that she would have easily embraced his news.

Finally, she spoke. “I kept my silence when you awarded Thedra's rights as a member of our community. I even defended you when you reinstated her as a member of your personal guard. More to the point, I even encouraged her to seek a husband among our people. But I never – _never_ – would have imagined she'd have the audacity to present herself as a suitable bride to the royal family; nor could I believe you would be so foolish as to encourage that inclination!”

“My sister...believe me, I did not wish for this. But one cannot help who one loves.”

Dis rose and moved to Thorin's side. She knelt down, and stared intently into his face. “My brother...are you absolutely sure it is love?” she inquired quietly.

Thorin closed his eyes and nodded once.

“And has Thedra agreed to become your wife? She does not wear your braid.”

Thorin's return gaze was remote. “No. I know she returns my feelings, but shares your reluctance. She...suggested...that we keep our relationship more...secret.”

Dis raised her eyebrow. “Surely she does not mean to suggest to being only your lover?”

Thorin didn't respond.

Dis stood up. “As...problematic as a marriage would be, an illicit relationship would be worse, were it to be discovered later.” Dis sighed and leaned against the table. “Is there any way I can talk you out of this disastrous connection, my brother?”

A ghost of a smile played across Thorin's lips. “No, sister.” He stood up. “But I would wish for your support...and your blessing.”

Dis straightened and stepped towards Thorin. “You are my brother, and my king.” She curtsied low. “I will follow wherever you may lead.” She rose and leveled a heavy gaze at Thorin. “But this is a long and difficult path you have chosen, Thorin,” she warned. “We have many hard days ahead. As painful as this will undoubtedly be for you and Thedra, remember the pain you will be causing for your people with this decision. You ask a great deal from us all.” She headed towards the door way but paused before leaving.

“Your people will need your understanding as well. You are testing everything they believe in.”

*****

Thedra found Dwalin in the fighting hall, polishing his sword in the dim candle light. It was late; no one else was in this part of the mountain at night.

She sat down quietly next to him on the bench. Thorin had told her how Dwalin had reacted to Thorin's intention to marry her. Thedra felt both flattered and alarmed that Thorin had spoken to his advisers about his plans...especially since she still felt so uneasy about their connection.

Dwalin paused for only a moment, then continued his ministrations to his weapon. Thedra pressed her eyes shut. She had anticipated this conversation all evening, but still was at a loss for words. Finally, she reached out and placed her hand on Dwalin's arm. He stiffened for a moment, then slowly lowered his sword.

When he spoke, his voice was clipped. “As I remember it, you spoke of his duty, and yours. Yet, how things have changed.”

Thedra let out a slow breath. “He didn't give me much of a choice.” Dwalin opened his mouth, but Thedra pressed on. “Don't misunderstand me. I'm not making excuses.” She stood up and began to pace. Finally, she stopped and bowed her head. “This is moving fast, even for my own wants. Dwalin...Dwalin, I yearn to do the right thing. But I don't know where to begin.” She raised her head and met his eyes. “Help us,” she whispered, pleadingly.

Dwalin broke away, and picked up his sword. “I don't know how, lass,” he replied hoarsely as he returned his attentions to the blade.

Thedra snatched the weapon from his hands and flung it across the ground. “I need you. Thorin needs you. Now.”

Dwalin stood up and advanced on her threateningly for a few steps before regaining his control. “Don't misunderstand _me_ , lass. My loyalty to my king and to my friends is beyond question. But this,” he thrust out his upturned hands with meaning, “this is beyond me.” His eyes flashed with emotion.

“I know, I know,” replied Thedra with a sigh. She raised her hand to her brow. “There's no good ending to this, is there?”

“The path you and Thorin have undertaken is unlike any other in our history. There is no precedent, no guide for your actions. You will have to find your own way.”

Thedra lowered her hand. “Must we go it alone?” she asked quietly.

Dwalin's voice cracked. “Lass, do you know what you ask of me?”

Thedra drew her head back in a failed attempt to reign back her tears. “I'm only beginning to. Forgive me, my friend,” she whispered.

Dwalin stood up and walked across the floor to retrieve his weapon. In the pale candle light, he approached Thedra silently then placed the blade across his left palm. He slowly dragged the edge across his skin, scoring a thin line into the callused flesh. “On my life's blood, I swear to serve.”

Thedra hesitated only a moment, then took the sword in her own hand. Mimicking Dwalin's movement, she cut her own palm. “On my life's blood, I swear to never ask any service that is less than honorable.”

Thedra lowered the sword, and grasped Dwalin's left hand with her own, dwarven and human blood mingling as one.


End file.
